nf Page 1097 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Mercifully Ends Stupidest Product Placement Ever
Philly's Brent Celek was fined 15 yards for an idiotic TD celebration Sunday, when he raised his right leg just like the doofuses in those Captain Morgan commercials. And yep, the awful rum maker was behind the whole thing....
Playing Offensive Line Is Horrible. Jamboroo, Week 10
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Sometimes I Love Ochocinco So Much It Hurts
Even though they stopped him from sending mustard to Heinz Field, they can't stop Chad Ochocinco from rewriting the NFL rulebook. [Twitpic]...
The Aaron Rodgers "Sack Tracker" Is Why We Have An Internet
What your life needs now is a detailed interactive chart of all 37 sacks made on the Packers QB this season. I think it was just updated as Rodgers was taken down buying lunch at Quiznos. [Madison.com]...
The Night They Drove The Dickheads Down
Ole Miss' band will stop playing one of the school's fight songs because some history-minded folk insisted on chanting "The South will rise again!" at the end. (Rise from what, exactly? Explosive population growth?) [Commercial Appeal]...
A Few Million Pesos Later, Angel Villalona Is A Free Man, For Now
Angel Villalona, the Giants prospect accused of fatally shooting a man in his native Dominican Republic, is out on bail and out 2 million pesos, too, having reportedly paid the victim's family to drop charges against him. That's $55,000....
I Loved It. It Was Much Better Than "The Bengals"
Broadway is producing a play about the life of Vince Lombardi. Because the only thing liberal East Coast elitst theatergoers love more than football is people from Wisconsin. [WSOCTV]...
Larry Johnson Raises Kansas City's Unemployment Rate By One
The Chiefs have released the unhappy running back, denying him the chance to break the team's all-time rushing yards mark. (He was 75 shy of Priest Holmes' record.) There really is no I in "public relations nightmare"team. [KansasCityStar]...
Tony Romo Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Tony Romo, who won the weekend by not making a complete spectacle of himself. When no one notices you, you're probably doing your job right....
Ochocinco Is Straight Cash
Why would a football player carry singles in their uniform pants? Heading to the strip club after the game? Buying off the refs? Or just throwing a little cheddar the Ravens' offense's way after having their way with them?...
Your Late Games Open Thread
No one disputes Dan Snyder's lack of football acumen, but John Riggins goes so far as to call him "a bad guy." While maybe not a war criminal, the Skins' season ought to be called the new Trail of Tears....
San Diego Horndoggery Day Continues
Chris Chambers was released due to the Chargers concerns about his personal life: namely, some Fatal Attraction level stalking. He's got a restraining order out on his ex-girlfriend, after she sent "lurid" text messages to his wife. [SD Union-Tribune]...
Your Early Games Open Thread
It's Cardinals vs. Bears in the match-up of teams we try to talk ourselves into believing are good. But they're not. Meanwhile, thankfully, the Skins game has been confined to the Zaxby's region of the country. [The506]...
Say What? Our Long, National Nightmare About A Major League Pitcher's Weed Possession Charge Is Already Over?
The attorney for Tim Lincecum has negotiated a settlement with prosecutors to settle the pitcher's marijuana misdemeanor charge by having Lincecum pay a $250 fine for possession of a pipe. The possession of marijuana charge will be dropped. Come again?...
Ted Ginn: A Lot Like Jesus!
Says Miami O-Coordinator Dan Henning: "In the Bible, on Palm Sunday they threw flowers at the Good Lord, then on Friday they....beat the shit out of him, crucified him....in this league they give us seven days....only gave him five." [NBCMiami]...
Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever
Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming. Was it the shaggy hair? The vacant smile? Or the 3.3 grams of marijuana found in the reigning Cy Young Award winner's Mercedes? [The Columbian]...
Why Are So Many Quarterbacks Kicking So Much Ass? Jamboroo, Week 9
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Just What I Was Thinking; This Game Needs More Favre
Because you, the consumer, demanded it, FOX has a dedicated camera trained solely on Brett Favre (reader David demonstrates). Try to keep it in your pants. [Brett Favre cam]...
The Good, The Bad and The Browns
That vaunted Broncos defense finally ran into a better one, while some quality teams struggled. Also, the usual terrible ones did too....
Your Late Games Open Thread
Dana Stubblefield's ex has a restraining order out on him. So basically...convicted steroid user has anger issues? I'm shocked and appalled. Use the comments to register your shock at the announcers occasionally mentioning Brett Favre used to play here....