nf Page 1125 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chris Cooley Would Like To Address Those Evil Trade Rumors
Redskins tight end Chris Cooley has taken to his blog (and his Facebook status) to let the world know that he's not getting traded. Especially not to Cleveland. Barf....

Tip A Pint And Argue Over These Tonight
Because it's St. Patrick's Day, here are the 10 luckiest things to happen in sports. Tom Brady's Super Bowl trophies and the Immaculate Reception both made it. Hey, it's not my list. [Real Clear Sports]...

Happy St. Patty's Day, Dan Rooney
President Obama nominates Steelers owner Dan Rooney as the U.S. ambassador to Ireland. They should love Steely McBeam over there. [Boston Globe]...

49ers Cut Loose Isaac Bruce, 'Have No Interest' In Jay Cutler
They might be tempted by Torry Holt, however, and may lust after Mark Sanchez in the draft. Oh, you wacky Niners. [San Francisco Chronicle]...

Matt Jones Released From Jail, Jaguars Roster
Matt Jones was sent home a day early from his week-long jail stint on Saturday. Jacksonville responded on Monday by sending him home from the team, permanently. [ESPN]...

Jay Cutler Formally Asks Denver To Stuff It
After a lot of weekend buzz involving real estate listings and veiled threats, it appears that Denver's glorious Jay Cutler Era is officially over....

Receiver Donte Stallworth Mows Down, Kills Miami Beach Man
Former Saint/Eagle/Patriot and current Browns wide receiver Donte Stallworth has reportedly ran over and killed a pedestrian in Miami Beach early this morning....

Grueling Tree Week Competition Produces New Stanford Tree
After a week of intense competition — which included a fog machine and dressing as Homer Simpson — a new Stanford Tree has been chosen. Unfortunately for our candidate in the video below, it wasn't him....

We'd Make Fun Of This Gentleman More, But I'm Sure He's Not The Only One Who Wet Himself At MSG Last Night
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Albert Haynesworth Almost Killed A Guy?
New Redskins tackle Albert Haynesworth has been in the news a lot lately, but the stories all seem to focus on his $100 million contract and not the car accident that left someone in a wheelchair....

Travis Henry Explains How He Knocked Up All Those Women
It's no secret that Travis Henry was a very reproductive running back throughout his football career. The New York Times finds out why....

Andre Smith Shows The World What A First Round Draft Pick's Bologna Bags Look Like
He is a specimen, that Andre Smith. Couple his fleshy girth with his bad 40-time and his unimpressive bench and you have yourself a man who's obviously not interested in making any money. [TheBigLead]...

Who Says Conference USA Is Not Very Deep?
Everyone says that Memphis plays in a conference where talent doesn't stretch very far, but we did assume that the talent at least stretched farther than Memphis's own bench....

The ACC Is Still Not Ready To Have Their Tournament Overrun By Hoops-Lovin' Lesbos
Sports By Brooks points us to this story that was featured in the Greensboro News & Record, detailing the ACC's reluctance to openly embrace its gay female fan base....

Alex Smith Household To Be Well Stocked With Towels
Alex Smith will be making $4 million this season in his restructured deal with the 49ers, plus all this stuff from his wedding registry (wonder if Mike Nolan got him the pannini maker). [Wedding Channel.com]...

Why Won't Denver Love Jay Cutler?
All Jay Cutler wants is a little respect from the Denver Broncos and their new coach Josh McDaniels. Unfortunately, Cutler plays in the NFL where guarantees, assurances and warm hugs don't come easy....

Tony Zendejas Free To Kick Again
The former NFL kicker has been acquitted in his rape trial. No joke, really, just thought you'd want to know how that turned out. [San Gabriel Valley Tribune]...

So Much For LT Going Elsewhere
Rejoice, San Diegans. Ladainian Tomlinson will be around to spell Darren Sproles for the next three years. [AP]...

Alex Smith Is Back, But Apparently In Disguise
Things don't usually work this way, but hey, we're in a recession. Alex Smith — once thought totally extinct in the wild — is back with the 49ers under a new, slimmer contract....
