nf Page 1154 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
HALLOWEENAROO! Jamboroo, Week 8
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available RIGHT FUCKING NOW in stores and online here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK. It'...
Boston Fans And Players Keeping It Classy As Fackin’ EVAH!
Hey, here’s a charming picture from the Celtics ring ceremony on Tuesday night. On the left is current Celtic, drug-doer, and student of the Norv Turner Institute Of Skin Care, Scot Pollard. Scot is flashing his championship ring, because the Celts certainly couldn’t have won a title without the th...
The Machines Shall Rise, And All Will Fall
All right, so the world is imploding. You know this. I know this too, though only because the Wassup Guys told me. Surely, these are the last days, before the global apocalypse rids the planet of humans and leaves only some cockroaches, a few stray strands of hair and, of course, Kermit, because Ke...
Not Just Another Pretty Face
Hooo boy. The reporter here — I'm pretty sure — is Danyelle Sargent of Fox, making the Gaffe of the Season so far. And what makes this more sad/amusing is the fact that Sargent was involved in a controversy while at ESPN in 2006 when, thinking her mic was dead, blurted "What the fuck was that?" w...
The Criminal Element In Canadian College Football
Canadians have a sordid reputation for being exceedingly polite, but they want to remind everyone that they can hurt your feelings with a cutting barb or scathing observation too. Of course, even Canucks who are on the other end of those vicious attacks can fight back like a Momma Palin bear on her ...
Mike Singletary Will Surely Kill Someone Before The Year Is Out
The forecast for the San Francisco 49ers season changed dramatically on Sunday from dismal to dangerous; like the difference between a cold, monotonous drizzle and a lightening storm in the mountains. And we can thank Mike Singletary for that. Not only did the 49ers' new interim coach pull a player ...
Why Can't NFL Fans Celebrate Like That?
To my knowledge there haven't been any delightful female-on-female celebrations in the stands at today's NFL games, but as we all know the real action takes place in the Carolina bathrooms. Fortunately the games themselves have produced their own entertainment, unlike your average Big 10 game. New ...
President Condi Possible This January in San Francisco?
Condoleezza Rice, National Security Adviser to President Bush Secretary of Flippin' State (and we're rather embarrassed about THAT), has been fishing for an NFL job post-Executive Branch for awhile. She's quoted in 2002 trolling for the NFL Commissioner position (only to be beaten out by Guantanamo ...
NFL Update 4: Welcome To My Nightmare
There's really no good reason to run this photo, especially in relation to any NFL Update post. But when something like this lands in your inbox, forcing you to spend the next hour washing your eyes out with lava soap, even though you know it's never going to escape from where it has burrowed on th...
NFL Update 3: Like A Kid Out There
Like a stupid child, Brett Favre just couldn't stop throwing the football to the other team today, giving away 3 interceptions (one of them as bad of a pick you'll ever see) against a Chiefs team that isn't - how would one put this? - very good. And that was before they lost their starting RB for s...
NFL Update 2: Who Is The Eighth?
Looks like we got a few more names on WaterPillGate. Jay Glazer is reporting that the two Minnesota Williamses - Pat and Kevin - both tested positive for whatever it is people are testing positive for these days. That'll put a decent-sized hole in their defensive line. Glazer also says Falcons defen...
NFL Update 1: Blackout!
Let's get you folks up to speed, our friends in Detroit who have taken a noble stand by refusing to pay big bucks to watch a horrible football team. Unfortunately, this little bit of protest has forced them to deal with the dreaded NFL blackout. We're here for you, D-Town. Washington 3, Detroit 10....
NFL Preview: Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do?
What a week for evil, HEEENGH? This probably isn't what Roger Goodall had in mind when he was going to "clean up the league". A Texans long-snapper and half of the Saints team got busted for the hilariously wimpy accusation of ingesting water pills; none have been suspended yet. Kellen Winslow got ...
NFL Voids Jim Haslett's Contract
Well, this is certainly some unexpected news. Jim Haslett, the hot-headed interim coach of the Rams who signed a contract with the team guaranteeing they remove the "interim" label next year if he wins 6 games, was just informed by the league that the contract no longer exists! Because they tore th...
Fog Slowly Lifting On NFL Steroid Scandal
Remember how yesterday it was reported that a whole bunch of Saints, including Deuce McAllister, tested positive for steroids, or steroid masking agents, or something else equally illegal? Well, the man on the scene Chris(t) Mortensen has learned himself a few names to go along with those allegatio...
Tony Zendejas Will Knock You Out, Take That Booty
If you're like me and start your morning off by going through court proceedings of sexual abuse cases - don't you dare judge me! - you tend to become desensitized by most of the testimonies regarding these brutal escapades. But when you read something like "the largest anal tear the medical examiner...
Pittsburgh Police Praise Santonio Holmes' Performance During Drug Bust
Some people might say it's foolish to smoke pot in your car, especially when you're driving it around with expired plates, but in Pittsburgh it's not what you do, it's how you react after being confronted with your misdeeds that matters. It seems that Steelers wide receiver Santonio Holmes made the ...
The Curious, Somewhat Icky Kellen Winslow Case Lurches Ahead
So to bring you up to speed here, Browns tight end Kellen Winslow says that he's been disrespected by his team; Cleveland general manager Phil Savage says Winslow has a big yap and deserved to be suspended; and everyone involved is airing their grievances through the media. Meanwhile, the Browns med...
Chris Johnson's Musical Stylings Not A Hit With NFL
I've always thought that the NFL was a bit stodgy when it came to their touchdown celebration policy; playing the Mr. Belding in the Saved By The Bell that is our nation's most popular televised sport. But that being as it is, there is a rule in place against end zone shenanigans, so the Titans' Chr...
The World Series Can Eat A Bag Of D—ks. Jamboroo, Week 8.
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs, well, every Thursday afternoon during the NFL season. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, hits stores on Monday but is available online right now here. You can email Drew here. Read him during the week at KSK....