nf Page 1203 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Patriots Are Just Tempting Fate
As the above video shows, with all the hatred directed at the Patriots right now — the batshit nuts Easterbrook type, and other more planetary notions — we're legitimately surprised no one has gone after Tom Brady's knees yet. (KSK might have been the first with this idea.) We would never advocate s...

So, Where's A-Rod Gonna End Up, Anyway?
So, now that A-Rod has opted out of his contract, we suppose we have to start speculating about where he's going to sign. We know. It's not fun for us either. But it's our job....

Peter King Is Quite Mad, You Know
In case you weren't aware, the biggest rivalry in sports is not the Red Sox-Yankees. It's the Patriots vs. the Colts! A rivalry as old as sports itself! First fought with leather helmets when players had part-time jobs as dock workers! So says Peter King, and if he writes it, it must be true....

Seriously, They Still Use The Term "Gunslinger"
Leave it to Monday Night Football to take a vintage Brett Favre moment, his overtime game-winning touchdown over the Broncos last night, and turn it into yet another exercise in overpromotion....

At Last, A Competitive October Game In Denver
Well, if the World Series sweep had one benefit, at least there's not going to be a massive traffic jam in Denver tonight. There's that....

Packers Fans Are The Best
Honestly, there just aren't many sports fans like Packers fans. Their devotion extends to sacred bonds of marriage....

The World's Most Dangerous Hall Monitor
It must be frustrating to have once played in the NFL, making millions of dollars, and now being forced to work as a Dallas hall monitor just so you can maybe have a tiny shot at coaching someday. Lots of investment with little potential payoff. But you never know. But the one thing you can't do, wh...

Sorry: You Just Can't Do This
A tip for all you kids out there still undecided about your Halloween costume: Just because Michael Vick is going to jail doesn't mean you can dress up in blackface....

Nothing Better Than Sports Bar Trash Talk
The Mighty MJD's Smorgasbord runs every Monday. Do enjoy....

Evil Or Not, The Patriots Are Out Of Control
Tiny tidbits from Week 8 of the NFL season....

OK, Peyton Can Keep His Job
Damn, just when you write off Peyton Manning as a fluke he comes back to life! Since we last checked in he's added a pair of touchdown passes (Wayne and Addai) and the Colts have pulled away from the first place Panthers. Wait...Carolina's in first place? I don't think I want to live in such a world...

Our Big Ben Can't Tell Time Or Hold His Liquor, But He Can Throw
In Cincinnati the quarterbacks have been all but perfect. Caron Palmer has gone 14-16 for 114 yards but the Bengals have seen two drives stall out forcing them to settle for a pair of field goals. Conversely Ben Roethlisberger is 10-12 for 136 yards with two satisfying touchdowns. Willie Parker has ...

For Giants Fans, Crazy Is As Crazy Does
Sure the Red Sox have a bit of momentum going, and it looks like they're going to cruise to their second World Series title. That's because Colorado Rockies fans are relatively new at this. They don't understand that, when things aren't going your way, it's never too early to call in a bomb threat....

Hey Kids, It's The Giant Colon!
Seriously, the kids could spend all day playing in the giant colon. And they would, if the state capitol building didn't close at 4. Actually, the display is called "Super Colon and Friends," and is on display in Carson City, Nev., to raise colon cancer awareness. But I just call it fun! (Yes, I ha...

Jeremy Shockey Is America
As we might have mentioned, the New York Giants are playing the Miami Dolphins in London on Sunday. There. You now have a tiny reason to care about that game. Roger Director, author of I Dream In Blue, has a few more than that. He riffs for us here about Jeremy Shockey, London and what it means to s...

Do Not Ask Him To Include Socks With The Transaction
How much would you give up for Rockies World Series tickets at Coors? One man is making the ultimate sacrifice....

Barry Bonds Will Now Accept Your Admiration On A Neatly Typed Index Card
Clearly, Barry Bonds has learned a lot from Karl Rove. The mad scientist behind George W. Bush's rise to power had one sentence scribbled over and over in his campaign playbook; never let your guy have an unscripted moment. And so Barry's big "interview" at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco on ...

Jamboroo, Week 8: Joey Porter's London Itinerary
Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo previews the upcoming weekend of the NFL every, well, every Thursday afternoon....

Brady Quinn's Stone Cold Lead Pipe Locks
We haven't checked in on Brady Quinn in a while: How's our favorite flashdancer doing?...

Channing Crowder Is A Citizen Of The World
Hey, did you hear the Giants and Dolphins are playing in London this week? It's like a regular old boring regular-season game ... but people will be driving there on the other side of the road!...