nf Page 1223 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
John Stockton Thinks This Is Excessive
Brandon Lloyd (I think that's who it is) appears to be impressed with the look. I can't tell if that look on his face says, "Man, you are crazy," or "I sho' wouldn't mind hittin' that from the back."...
We Re-Introduce You To The Comedy Stylings Of Sinbad
Last night, in Indianapolis, the Colts were awarded their Super Bowl rings at some sort of soiree. Some sports marketing guy was there and filed a full report. It will come as little surprise to you that the Comedy Ringleader of the evening was ... Sinbad....
Behind The Scenes Of The Eastern Motors Magic
You might remember those famous Eastern Motors advertisements in Washington D.C., in which various area athletes remind residents that "their job is their credit," through the majesty of song. Well, DC Sports Bog, which is the future, was on set for the taping of the newest commercial, and it's proo...
A Requiem For Bad Moon's Money
For months now, we've been trying to figure out why, during our exhibition football game against Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart, Rison felt obliged to hug us. We felt we had competed hard, but not quite worthy of a hug. We thought maybe Andre was just lonely. Maybe he missed Left Eye?...
Chris Henry Is Just Making Up Offenses Now
OK. Are you sitting down? We feel like you should be sitting down. It's probably for the best if you're sitting down. Take a deep breath. Have a brandy. You ready? Cool. Here goes....
It's Been One Year Since Big Ben's Curbing
You know, time really flies when you've banged your head against pavement at 50 miles per hour. It's like you can't get perspective on matters, or something. Yes, folks, it has been exactly one year today since Ben Roethlisberger's motorcycle accident. It's a day Steelers fans will always remember,...
Jeff Reed Is The Most Fun Kicker Of All Time
You might remember our little Christmas Eve present for you last year: Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed taking a picture of him nearly nude in the mirror....
Don't Give Up Hope On Barry Bonds Yet
As we wonder how the heck Barry Bonds can be out with shin splints when he never actually runs, we point out that, because of his injury and his recent slump, it is no longer an absolute certainty that he's going to break Hank Aaron's record....
Carl Monday: The Early Years
Ever wonder what drives crusading field journalist Carl Monday? He didn't just pursue the Mike Cooper library case out of thin air; there had to be an underlying force, some childhood trauma, perhaps, which would cause him in later life to obsess over a perfectly ordinary human function. We wonder w...
Is Gene Upshaw Gonna Have To Choke A Bitch?
You might remember, last August, when Bryant Gumbel — that notorious agent of social change — blasted NFL union head Gene Upshaw for being the "personal pet" of the NFL, and that he was kept "on a leash."...
This Man Knows What Athletics Really Mean
The Fanhouse discussed this yesterday, but we wouldn't help but play with it some more: There's a Massachusetts politician named Kevin Thompson who is kind of losing his mind about Tom Brady. Actually, he has a problem with athletes in general....
Tank Johnson Would Like To Be The Face Of The NFL
In case you were wondering, being involved in a shooting incident in Vegas — though you didn't fire the weapon and all you really did was hang out with shady people and try to get your money back after a rather ill-advised "making it rain" incident — will earn you a one-year suspension from the NFL....
Nice Pitching, You Blockhead
Look, there's probably no tougher job in baseball than that of closer. But that being said, it's hard to imagine someone failing at it in more spectacular fashion than did the Giants' Armando Benitez last week. The Giants had a one-run lead in the ninth against the Mets on May 29 when Benitez was br...
Eric Mangini Enjoys Vesuvio's
We like Jets coach Eric Mangini, even if he's way too young to be that football-coach tubby. But we — as obsessed "Sopranos" fans since the very first episode — hope he understands the honor bestowed upon him. He cameoed last night on what was one of the most intense, breathtaking episodes of the mo...
Jack Trudeau Likes Alcohol ... Policemen, Not So Much
It's that time of year. The kids are graduating from high school, and former Colts quarterbacks are getting them shitfaced. It seems like just yesterday, it was me donning the cap and gown, getting my diploma, and Jeff George threatening to beat my ass if I couldn't do a keg stand for 45 seconds....
Evander Holyfield Has Much Advice For Sage Rosenfels
"OK, now everybody listen up. The key to being a successful Houston Texan is to ... wait ... is HGH legal in football? No? Oh, well, don't worry: Take it anyway, you'll sit out four games, no one will care, it's the NFL. Anyway, what was I saying? Dancing. Yes. Dancing is ... you gotta ..."...
Kick Satan Out Of Your Life With The Help Of The Indianapolis Indians
What's coming up in the world of minor league baseball ... we proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...
Michael Vick Has Bad Luck With Pets
Michael Vick, you bastard! You moved the headstones, but you didn't move the graves! You didn't move the graves!...
Does Barry Really Owe The Hall Of Fame Anything?
Barry Bonds is heading to New York this week for the Giants' three-game series with the Mets, and because there are a ton of reporters here, expect Bonds to make some sort of headline in the next three days, whether he homers or not. (If we were Bonds, we'd avoid anybody with a combover for the next...