nf Page 1240 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Big Ben's Friends In Idiotic Places
Want to know why Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger had such an awful 2006? We have a theory: He has become friends with Donald freaking Trump....

Playoff Pants Party: Ravens Vs. Colts
Again, so we don't overrun the site with Pants Parties tomorrow, we thought we'd preview Saturday's first game today. So here you are....

Matt Hasselbeck Is Sexy, You See (YEAH!)
Last year, a Seattle radio station, attempting to, we dunno, inspire somebody or something, came up with "Sweet Shaun Alexander," an ear-bleeder set to the tune of "Sweet Home Alabama." (You know, because of the loggers.)...

Barry Bonds Unlikely To Stay "Pals" With Mark Sweeney Much Longer
Barry Bonds has been dodging, ducking and weaving the Inspector Javerts of Major League Baseball and the U.S. government for so long that it's almost second nature to him; he has moves that would make LaDainian Tomlinson envious. According to this morning's New York Daily News — which remains three ...

Junior Seau, Paragon Of Taste And Virtue
Junior Seau. San Diego legend. New England injured reserver. Man of the people. Pillar of the community. And, obviously, advocate for women's issues....

That's One Way To Handle The Tempest That Is Rex Grossman
The main question in the NFC this weekend: How will Bears quarterback Rex Grossman play? That is to say: Is he going to completely wreck the Bears again, or will he occasionally throw the ball forward and to a gentleman in the correct jersey?...

Keep The Micks Out Of San Diego!
If you're a New England Patriots fan — because Lord knows we need more of those — and you want tickets to the AFC Divisional game in San Diego on Sunday, you're out of luck: The Chargers are restricting online ticket purchases to those from Southern California. Their exact policy: "The San Diego Cha...

The Tony Romo Playoff Action Figure
OK, so seriously, the guy has suffered enough ... you saw how bad he looked after that game ... cut him some slack ... he's a young kid who screwed up ... he's having a difficult enough time ... he's just devastated ... aw, see, now this auction is just wrong....

Should Belichick Be Punished For His Limp Shove?
As far as we can tell, Michael David Smith of The Fanhouse was the first to make an issue out of this — we even laughed it off ourselves — but a couple days later, more people are asking: Shouldn't we be a little more pissed at Patriots coach bill Belichick for just shoving that cameraman out of the...

We Can't Imagine What He Thought She Did Wrong
In a quiet piece of news that has received a strange lack of notice, Cowboys wide receiver / cutter Terrell Owens fired his publicist Kim Etheredge yesterday....

Just Pray These Aren't Already Sold Out
Good news! The new Jesus sports statues are in, still piping hot from the kiln and ready for shipping over at Catholic Shopper.com. But unlike in previous versions in which He was smack dab in the action, Our Lord and Savior seems content to kibitz from the sidelines this time, refusing to get direc...

Ah, To Be Young And Tony Romo
Another reason YouTube is changing our lives in new and exciting ways: The already infamous Tony Romo fumble moment from Saturday night is being reenacted by spasming lonely fools in their bedrooms. You're totally wrong, Cuban: YouTube is Allah's gift to us all!...

Many People Taking Photos Of Two Men Hugging
We find it difficult to become too worked up about coaching rivalries. It reminds us of Neal Pollack's excellent Slate piece about the "cult of the general manager;" all told, if there's a genuine blood feud going on, we'd prefer it to involve people who actually play. They can hit each other, after...

Now They Just Need Marky Mark To Play Linebacker
As Garcia Mania continues to sweep the greater Philadelphia area — if just because "Westbrook Mania" doesn't have the same indelible linguistic flow — we point out to you the spoils of quarterbacking an NFL team that is the company in a company town: Incredibly awkward local television commercials! ...

Giants vs. Eagles, 4th Quarter
- 3rd and 2 for the Giants from the Eagles 6, and Eli Manning just can't make anything happen. He fails to see a wide open Plax in the back of the endzone, and ends up throwing it away, which, I suppose, is all you could expect from Eli Manning. They settle for the field goal, and it's 20-13 Eagles ...

Giants vs. Eagles, 3rd Quarter
- The Eagles are getting the ball here to start the second half. And if they score here, it would force Eli Manning into a lot of passing situations, which would be fantastic for people who hate Eli Manning....

Giants vs. Eagles, 2nd Quarter
- The Giants are on pace for over 400 yards......

Giants vs. Eagles, 1st Quarter
- Alright, here we go. I'm expecting this Eagles/Giants game to be more eventful and more... disastrous. NFC East games tend to veer towards the absurd. This will not be a quality football game, but it will probably be fun....

Jets vs. Patriots: 4th Quarter
- We're about to start the 4th with the Jets down 10. It could still happen for them, but they need to get something going quickly. Come on, Chad, let's make this one close....

Jets vs. Patriots: 3rd Quarter
- The third quarter's just gotten underway. Shawne Merriman was interviewed by satellite at halftime, and he was either wearing a tank top, a unitard, or a pair of suspenders with no shirt. It's an unusual look, and not one that many people can pull off. Shawne Merriman included....