nf Page 1242 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Now Boarding The Arizona Cardinals Plane ... Pete Carroll?
Our fearless leader Will Leitch is on vacation for one more day, which means that we can speculate rampantly on the next Arizona Cardinals head coach without fear of nail gun puncture wounds. May we say right at the outset, Steve Mariucci? Ha, that felt good....
K-Fed Will Totally Kick Your Ass, Bitches
When our chimp-like ancestors first descended from the trees and began walking upright about 6 million years ago, little did they know that it would lead to this. You should have warned us, Charles Darwin. Damn you to hell!...
Domanick Nee Davis Refurbishes His Image
Make a mental note that the nicotine patch, Jenny Craig, or coffee enemas, are probably not enough to ensure a shiny new you this new year. Take a cue from Domanick Davis of the Houston Texans, who has decided to purge himself of himself by entering the 2007 season with changes to his haircut (brai...
So, What Was Javon Walker's Involvement?
Curious stories about the Darrent Williams tragedy seem to be popping up every hour, most of them surrounding wideout Javon Walker's whereabouts. Was he in the limo? Did Williams die in his arms? Did he show up to the Broncos facility with blood on his shirt as ESPN.com reported?...
Good Morning: Put the Lotion in the Baskett
Hello again. So, sorry for the depressing update yesterday. New Year's Day is an official "holiday" for Deadspin, but I felt like the Darrent Williams thing shoud've been something that was posted about to facilitate discussion to those of you not stuck at home with roaring case of post-New Year's...
Broncos Cornerback Darrent Williams Killed in Drive-By
Sad news out of Denver this morning. AP wire reports:...
Let Brett Favre Wisk You Into The New Year
Unless something remarkable happens, like Bill Parcells deciding to publicly hang himself in Times Square tonight, this will likely be the last Deadspin post of 2006. What a disappointment. I was hoping it would be a better one....
NFL Week Seventeen, Update #2
• The Jets have done the not-so-impossible and beaten the Raiders to sew up a playoff spot. It doesn't seem like beating the Raiders is an accomplishment worthy of getting someone a playoff spot, but you know, neither does going 8-8 in the NFC. Chadwick Pennington was 22 of 30 for 157 yards and a TD...
NFL Week Seventeen, Update #1
• In the afternoon's one important game, the Jets lead the Raiders 7-3 late in the second quarter. Give the Raiders credit, they're not just going to lay there and take it. Chad Pennington has managed to complete 12 of 16 passes and only has 67 passing yards to show for it. This week's Raiders featu...
The Bodily Functions Of Bryant Gumbel
What better way to spend New Years than trying to figure out if it was really Bryant Gumbel that you heard belching during last night's Redskins/Giants game? At a couple of points during the broadcast, some miscellaneous belches were heard coming from the booth. Pro Football Talk (those guys are tho...
As The Mess Begins To Unfold...
If the Giants lose tonight, tomorrow's NFL day gets a lot more interesting and confusing. If they win tonight, a playoff spot is theirs, most likely. If they lose, though, there are four other teams, all of them terrible, that could claim the spot tomorrow. I don't care much about either of these te...
Just Blow Into This Tube, Mr. Tyson
Mike Tyson, ex-pugilist extraordinairre, gnawer of earlobes, raper of women, can add a new dubious title to his evergrowing legend: possessor of cocaine. Yes, its seems early yesterday morning in Scottsdale, Arizona, America's favorite boxer who can no longer box was pulled over during a routine che...
Breaking News! Baseball Player Signs Ridiculous Contract!
I'm so excited to tell you this I might as well just copy and paste the fucker:...
Curse Of The 1980s Giants Infield Continues
We are saddened this morning by reports of the death of former San Francisco Giants third baseman Chris Brown. We don't know what's going on with Giants infielders from the 1980s (Jose Uribe died in a car crash on Dec. 8), but Matt Williams, watch your back. Brown, who was Darryl Strawberry's teamma...
Danny White And Herschel Walker Would Like To Wish You A Belated Merry Christmas
In case you needed a little push to take down the last of those Christmas decorations, this should stomp out your remaining holiday cheer. We offer you the 1986 Dallas Cowboys singing Christmas in Dallas, proving that there were other disasters besides the Challenger Space Shuttle and Iran-Contra th...
Car Penetrates Fred Smoot's Face
Fred Smoot's jaw is broken in five places as the result of a recent car accident, and he's out of the hospital and recovering, according to Vikings head coach Brad Childress. There aren't a lot of details available at the moment, but there is no reason to believe (well, not much reason, anyway) that...
Doug Johnson Must Be Some Kind Of Douchebag
With a staggering 39% of the vote, Terrell Owens was the "winner" of an SI.com poll among NFL athletes on the subject of the league's most annoying player. Owens was one of only two players to get into a double digit percentage, the other being Joey Porter with a disappointing 10%....
Spit Shield Purchases Skyrocketing In North Carolina
Steelers head coach Bill Cowher, beloved in many places that are not Seattle, may have given some clues yesterday about his plans for the future. He didn't announce anything, but said he'd have something to say about it next week. If he was going to stay, though, why wait to say it?...
Ref Played Bird, Quarterback Played Randy Johnson
Umpire Garth DeFelice couldn't get out of the way in time when Garrard threw a pass over the middle, and when he turned away from the ball, it hit him and he dropped like a sack of potatoes. DeFelice stayed on the ground for several minutes, but he eventually walked off the field. Garrard, showing c...
So Much Favre Love You'll Blow Your Head Off
By week 17 of the NFL season, most teams are either already locked into their playoff positions or already eliminated. That means the average NFL player cares as much about the 16th game of the season as Shaq cares about the 10th through 70th games of the NBA season....