nf Page 374 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rams Give Up A Touchdown To Taysom Goddamn Hill<em></em>
The Saints have been force-feeding the ball to their Tebowian backup quarterback Taysom Hill in crucial situations, and head coach Sean Payton’s obsession with Hill paid off today in the third quarter against the Rams. Hill lined up wide on third and goal for a screen, and Drew Brees found one of hi...
The Fan Who Keeps Whistling During Rams-Saints Is Impressively Loud
You’re not hearing things—it does sound like a whistle is blowing before every Rams offensive play in today’s NFC title game. That noise is very likely being made at least in part by a superfan named Leroy “Whistle Monsta” Mitchell, who’s been doing it at Saints home games for 22 years. The whistle ...
Fox Tried To Save Us From Seeing Michael Thomas's Butt
On the first drive of the Rams-Saints game, the broadcast booth at FOX sprung into action to prevent the youth of America from seeing something ugly on a football field: Michael Thomas’s ass. ...
What's Up With These NFL Next Gen Stats?
Dating back a few years, the NFL has put microchips in players’ pads to track their movements in games. Since the beginning of the 2017 season, the company that sends you shit in the mail and provides the architecture for a lot of the internet has slapped its name on the statistics generated by thos...
It's Me, I'm The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots
The New England Patriots, the second playoff seed of their conference, are preparing for Sunday’s AFC title game against the Kansas City Chiefs by pushing the idea that no one believes in them, a team that’s been to eight straight AFC title games. You might be asking, Who are they actually calling o...
Dan Snyder Reportedly Dumped A Marketing Campaign Because He Saw Nazi Connotations
Washington defensive lineman Jonathan Allen gave out doughnuts to sick kids in D.C. today. The treats came with a photo of him alongside the words “We Hail!” Allen probably should’ve checked with his boss....
The Big Boy President Threw A Burger Party For His Football Pals
Here is the dream, as I imagine it: A bunch of football players are in the White House. Let’s just say they’re the 1985 Chicago Bears, and let’s further say that they’re doing The Super Bowl Shuffle for reasons that are not immediately apparent. We must say this because the dream is not mine—the dre...
Every Austin FC Chant Is Lame As Hell Except For The One That's A Tom Petty Song
MLS had a big ceremony today to announce that the league’s 27th club, Austin FC, will start playing in 2021. The franchise is an expansion team, not a relocated Columbus Crew (thank god), and although their debut MLS game is more than two years away, the branding process has already begun. There’s a...
We Need A New "America's Team"
Today, we’re talking about shoelaces, Trump’s hair, insomnia, Philly sports fans, and more....
The Curse Of The 2017 Point Guard Class Is Coming For Dennis Smith Jr.
Among the reasons the Mavericks deserve credit for jumping up and grabbing Luka Dončić in the 2018 NBA Draft—beyond the most obvious one, which is that he kicks mondo ass—is the display of confidence and guts to draft a guy who at least superficially overlaps with a guy they drafted with the ninth p...
Kyler Murray Is Entering The NFL Draft
After a little bit of uncertainty over whether he would wind up choosing the Oakland Athletics’ farm system instead of an immediate shot at the NFL, Oklahoma QB and Heisman winner Kyler Murray has picked football over baseball and will enter the NFL draft, as reported by Murray himself in this refre...
The Saints' Forever Drive Was Unstoppable
“That was a long-ass drive,” Saints guard Larry Warford said of the relentless march down the field that took up nearly the entire third quarter and gave New Orleans its first lead, the only one it would need in a 20-14 win over the Eagles. And my goodness, yes it was....
A Miracle Just Slipped Through The Eagles' Hands
Alshon Jeffery is going to be the scapegoat only because every close game seems to end up with one—something to do with human psychology, I suppose. Yes, he let the ball go through his hands for a game-sealing interception in the Saints’ 20-14 playoff win. But there are plenty of other things to bla...
Tom Brady Is Absolutely Toasting The Chargers' Zone D
It’s 28-7 Patriots as I write this midway though the second quarter, and New England is taking apart the Chargers defense that looked so impressive in last week’s win over Baltimore. But what works against Lamar Jackson doesn’t work against Tom Brady....
Sean Payton Is Trying To Motivate The Saints With More $1 Bills Than You've Ever Seen In Your Life
Football coaches have tried a lot of motivational techniques over the years. Tony Sparano dug a hole and buried a football. Jay Norvell wore a blue shirt. Jon Gruden sends players who play well to good teams. Jack Del Rio did whatever he did that resulted in his punter suffering an ax wound. Most o...
Andrew Whitworth Had His Way With The Cowboys
The Rams’ offensive line is in the soul-protecting business. The Cowboys’ vaunted defensive front, fresh off holding the Seahawks’ NFL-best ground game to just 73 yards rushing in last week’s wild card win, spent all week talking, dreaming, drooling over the havoc they were going to wreak at the lin...
Rams Beat Cowboys With A Star Turn From A Beefy, Beautiful Jon Gruden Castoff
Perhaps when Jon Gruden insisted that he got “a lot of phone calls from people who are dying to come and play here,” he was telling the truth, and those players didn’t mention how long they planned on staying. Even the briefest stints in Oakland appear to be performance-enhancing. ...
Dak Prescott Gets Sacked By His Own Lineman While Standing Upright
The officials in tonight’s Cowboys-Rams game made their own avant-garde contribution to the NFL’s constantly expanding reality. Is a catch a catch if no one recovers what is later ruled a fumble? Did a play actually end on the one-inch line if it was originally ruled a touchdown? And now: can a quar...