nf Page 382 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Wouldn't Want To Work With Draymond Green, Either
They have been historically great for years and are, when at their unholy apex, probably the most beautiful and terrifying basketball machine ever constructed, but the Golden State Warriors are kind of a corny bunch of dudes. This is nothing on them, really: it’s not their job to be interesting, or ...
Please God Bring Back Vine For Sports
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
The Eagles Suck!
Last week Dom Cosentino and I discussed one simple truth of this NFL season: The Dallas Cowboys were a mess. Naturally, the Cowboys went out and beat up on the Philadelphia Eagles on Sunday night....
Soccer Ref Suspended Three Weeks For Using Rock-Paper-Scissors Instead Of Coin Flip
Over in England, the FA has banned referee David McNamara for 21 days on the charge of “not acting in the best interests of the game,” after some unauthorized improvisation when he forgot his coin ahead of an Oct. 26 Reading-Manchester City match in the Women’s Super League. Because he didn’t have a...
Chiefs-Rams Mexico City Game Will Be Moved To Los Angeles Because The Field's Too Crummy
The upcoming Monday night game between the Rams and Chiefs will not be at Estadio Azteca in Mexico City, because the field is crappy and falling apart due to rain, as well as a Shakira concert. The NFL is moving the matchup to Los Angeles:...
Le'Veon Bell Will Sit Out The Season. Now What?
Le’Veon Bell’s 4 p.m. deadline to report to the Steelers came and went, which means Bell cannot play at all during the 2018 season. It also means Bell has forfeited the entirety of the $14.54 million salary he was scheduled to make on the franchise tag, plus a reported $200,000 more in benefits. He...
Ass Team Of The Week: The Buccaneers Were Killed By Their Own Hot, Compressed Farts
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost 16-3 to Washington on Sunday, but just about every number save for the final score says the Bucs were the better team. They out-gained Washington in yards nearly two-to-one—it was 501 to 286 when the final whistle blew—and yards per play (7.5 to 5.2), and had nearly dou...
The 49ers And Giants Are Playing Monday Night Football In Some Very Nasty Air
The Camp Fire started in Butte County last Thursday, and it’s already become both the deadliest and most destructive wildfire in California history. The entire town of Paradise is just gone, as the town of 26,000 people was swallowed by the blaze in horrifying fashion shortly after the fire started ...
Tom Brady Gets Upstaged As A Receiver By An Opposing Quarterback, Again
Early in the fourth quarter of today’s Patriots-Titans game, New England ran a wide receiver passing play where Julian Edelman threw a six-yard pass to an open Tom Brady. While it wasn’t a repeat of the infamous Super Bowl blunder—Brady actually caught the ball—the New England quarterback showed tha...
Bills' Dion Dawkins Scores Wide-Open Fat Guy Touchdown
The Bills are currently dominating the Jets despite the fact that their fourth starting quarterback of the season, Matt Barkley, had not played a regular season game since Jan. 1, 2017. Buffalo clearly recognized that its opponent wasn’t going to stop anything today, so the oh-so-reliable fat guy to...
FitzMagic Isn't Strong Enough To Make This Pass Legal
Tampa Bay Bucs QB Ryan Fitzpatrick almost made a magical play on a long third down in the first quarter of today’s game against Washington. With the ball at midfield, Fitzpatrick dropped back, did a supernatural job of escaping the pass rush, then took off running before he, uh, threw a forward pass...
Michigan State Made Its Intentional Safety Look Like A Terrible Decision In Just Five Plays
In the final minute of the third quarter, down 7-6, Michigan State intentionally took a safety on fourth down in what was likely a decision to try and give Ohio State worse field position on the ensuing punt than what one kicked from the one-yard line would yield....
Bills Don't Rule Out Yet Another Outbreak Of Nathan Peterman
Nathan Peterman had the best game of his career last Sunday against the Bears. Yes, he threw for three interceptions and no touchdowns as he averaged a horrendous 3.84 yards per attempt on 41 passes, and yes, the Bills lost 41-9, but ... it appears there is no positive point on which to end this se...
The Deadcast Went To Nashville, Ate A Lot, And Invented A Hideous Milkshake
The votes are counted, the headaches have dissipated, Drew’s GI tract is back in acceptable working order after a frontal assault by a smallish bite of Bolton’s hot chicken, and the verdict is in: Nashville, Tennessee is a pretty cool place to spend like 36 hours. It would probably be even more fun ...
I Forgot How Much It Rules To Watch Football At A Bar
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
The Dallas Cowboys Are Still A Mess
The Dallas Cowboys added wide receiver Amari Cooper in a trade with the Oakland Raiders during their bye week. It helped! Cooper was the Cowboys’ leading receiver, catching 5 passes for 58 yards and a score on Monday night. It didn’t help the Cowboys win, of course: They lost at home to the Tennesse...
Le'Veon Bell Has Reached The "Sending Fake-Deep Tweets" Stage Of His Holdout
Because James Conner is good and the Steelers are 5-2, everyone seems to have decided that Le’Veon Bell’s extended holdout was a bad idea. This new consensus may be wearing on Bell, based on these two weird tweets he sent yesterday:...
Vance Joseph To Demaryius Thomas: Please Stop Pointing Out How Much We Suck
Vance Joseph is not a fan of Demaryius Thomas airing out his grievances to the media about how the Broncos disrespected and misled him throughout this season. Since beating the Broncos 19-17 with his new team, Thomas has been answering any and all questions about the organization’s ineptitude....
Dez Bryant Teaches Us A Very Valuable Lesson About Never Settling For The Browns
Dez Bryant has finally found a team that’ll give him what he wants, and it’s a pretty good team, too. The New Orleans Saints have agreed to sign the former Cowboys receiver to a one-year deal for the rest of the season....
MLB Expansion Is Probably Inevitable, But Where And When?
Attendance and World Series TV ratings may be down, but baseball fever is alive and well in cities without the erstwhile national pastime. ExposNation says the time is now! Portland’s wannabe owner took Russell Wilson and Ciara on a helicopter tour of potential stadium sites! Las Vegas might be read...