nf Page 501 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Rob Gronkowski Once Tanked A Free Throw To Keep His High School Basketball Team At 69 Points
Within this WPRI feature on various New England Patriots’ high school glory days is a magnificent parable about how Rob Gronkowski, a butt with a tattoo of a butt with a tattoo of a butt on it, sacrificed his individual success for a greater cause....
Report: Emails Show Atlanta Falcons Were Giving Players Incredible Amounts Of Painkillers
Emails first published by the Associated Press show that members of the Atlanta Falcons’ front office were worried about the team’s excessive use of painkillers when treating injured players....
I'm Fed Up With Tom Brady
It’s been more than 16 months since Tom Brady first placed a “Make America Great Again” hat in his locker and kept it there for weeks while telling reporters that it “would be great” if Donald Trump became president. Well, Donald Trump is president, and I’m going to put this as objectively as I can:...
Rex Ryan's Obnoxious Bills Truck Is Now An Understated Clemson Truck
We finally have a definitive answer to the question everyone was asking after Rex Ryan was fired by the Buffalo Bills: What will be the fate of Rex’s big-ass Bills truck?...
The Case Of Kyle Shanahan's Missing Backpack Has Been Solved
Kyle Shanahan is about to coach in the biggest game of his career. He might need his playbook this weekend, but he lost it after the backpack he was carrying it around in at NFL media day got nabbed! Who could have pulled off such a dastardly caper?...
Sheldon Adelson Pulls Out Of Las Vegas Stadium Deal, Throwing Raiders' Future Into Question
Famed GOP megadonor and newspaper-destroying toad Sheldon Adelson has backed out of the deal to finance a new Las Vegas stadium for the Oakland Raiders. Adelson was initially slated to pay for $650 million of the $1.9 billion stadium, with the state of Nevada on the hook for $750 million and the Rai...
Player Gets Mad After Tackle At The Pro Bowl<em></em>
The Pro Bowl happened yesterday, with a final score of Whatever to Who Cares. The most interesting part of the game was when Bills linebacker Lorenzo Alexander actually tried for a few moments and laid into Seahawks tight end Jimmy Graham, in a one-score game with less than two minutes left. Graham ...
Aubrey Huff Tells Protesters To Get A Job
In response to Donald Trump’s decision to ban immigrants from seven predominantly Muslim countries, Americans took to the airports and streets in protest. In response to those people, former MLB player Aubrey Huff complained online like a big baby....
Just What Are The 49ers Doing?
It’s fair to say no one foresaw John Lynch as the 49ers’ general manager, because, up until a week ago, the Niners weren’t even considering him. After all, he’s a former player and current broadcaster with exactly zero experience in a front office. But let’s give Lynch some credit for perhaps knowin...
San Francisco 49ers Hire John Lynch As General Manager
The 49ers hired former Tampa Bay Buccaneers safety John Lynch as general manager, wrapping up a nearly month-long search for a replacement after firing Trent Baalke. ...
No One Needs The Pro Bowl: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
Any faithful list of activities preferable to watching the NFL Pro Bowl must include pastimes like slamming your head in a car door, eating hair, and broiling your dick....
Justin Tucker Nails Field Goal Through Basketball Hoop From 50-Yard Line
Earlier this week, we got to watch Justin Tucker make a 75-yard field goal. Impressive, sure, but not quite as impressive as this....
Rob Manfred Has Started Meeting With Cleveland Ownership To Discuss Chief Wahoo
During the Cleveland Indians’ postseason run, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred hinted that he would speak to the team’s ownership about their horrifically racist logo during the offseason. Now, apparently, he’s followed through and begun that conversation—though the conversation appears to be totally de...
Reporter Really Pours It On With Question For Tom Brady
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady received a drunk WEEI caller’s motivational speech in the form of a question during today’s press conference:...
The Greatest Players In NHL History: Nos. 50-40
Hockey writers and podcasters Dave Lozo of Vice Sports, Sean “Down Goes Brown” McIndoe, and Greg Wyshynski of Puck Daddy have a new book called The 100 Greatest Players In NHL History (And Other Stuff): An Arbitrary Collection of Arbitrary Lists. They give their own ranking of the “NHL 100,” as well...
Everyone's Getting Horny Over A Villanova Defensive Lineman
Impress your friends with your knowledge of the existence of this year’s small-school NFL prospect: Tanoh Kpassagnon, a defensive lineman who played at Villanova. Listed at 6-foot-7 and 290 pounds, Kpassagnon went to this week’s Senior Bowl and made at least one NFL executive tumescent. From Philly....
Stanford Band No Longer Banned From Stanford Land For Not Aligning With Stanford Brand
A little over a month ago, the Stanford band was suspended through the Spring 2017 quarter for a slate of alcohol problems and other conduct policy violations. A university conduct board recommended suspending them through the end of next school year (meaning they’d be back for the 2018 football sea...
The Pro Bowl's Skill Competitions Were Surprisingly Fun<em></em>
The NFL spiced up the normally staid Pro Bowl week with its first ever skills competition. Some of those skills were, predictably, boring (e.g: throw a football over there, catch a bunch of footballs), but a few were much more fun than expected. The NFC beat the AFC 3-2 in the five-challenge gauntle...
Kellyanne Conway's Old Stand-Up Routine Shows How Long The Skins Have Been A Punchline
Today is the 25th anniversary of Washington’s last Super Bowl win. Some perspective on the longevity of the Skins’ suckitude was provided by the recently unearthed video of Trump confidant Kellyanne Conway’s brief standup comedy career. Her routine, part of a 1998 contest to find the “Funniest Celeb...