nf Page 530 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Javy Baez Only Makes Spectacular Plays
The Giants finally remembered how to play offense and hit the baseball tonight, but Cubs second baseman Javy Baez is doing everything he can to shut them down. Baez only plays baseball at one million miles per hour, and he attacks approaching grounders like Jim Harbaugh attacks glasses of milk. ...
Michael And Martellus Bennett Are Still Talking Outrageous Shit About, Well, Everyone
Nobody in the NFL gives nearly as good a quote as Michael and Martellus Bennett do. The brothers welcomed fans to the NFL season by dishing out burns to Eli Manning, Sam Bradford, Roger Goodell, and plenty of others. E:60 has a full profile of the brothers coming soon, and they released a minute’s w...
Report Disputes That Skins LB Su'a Cravens Needs Glasses "For A Very Long Time" After Concussion<em></em>
During an Oct. 2 game against the Browns, Washington linebacker Su’a Cravens suffered a concussion while attempting to tackle Cleveland running back Isaiah Crowell. Now, Cravens and his team appear to be having trouble settling on the exact severity of his brain injury....
The Chargers Are Mad At Their Kicker For A Stupid Reason
The San Diego Chargers lost a game in embarrassing fashion on Sunday, blowing a shot at a game-tying field goal with a botched snap. After the game, Chargers kicker Josh Lambo was seen sharing a laugh with Raiders kicker Sebastian Janikowski, and now he’s in trouble with his teammates and coaches be...
Colin Kaepernick Will Start Against The Bills
San Francisco 49ers head coach Chip Kelly named Colin Kaepernick the starting quarterback for this Sunday’s game against the Buffalo Bills. Blaine Gabbert will be the backup QB. The 49ers are 1-4 this season....
Should The Cowboys Stick With Dak Prescott?
“Tony is our No. 1 quarterback,” Jerry Jones said Sunday night, settling a Cowboys quarterback controversy that’s really just getting started....
Alshon Jeffery Is Frustrated And John Fox Tells Reporters To Enjoy Their Damn Hot Dogs
Bears coach John Fox admits he has no idea what he’ll do when Jay Cutler is healthy, since Brian Hoyer has played well. But he knows he really doesn’t want to hear any second-guessing from the media watching the game from a climate-controlled press box....
Andrew Hawkins Says His Robotic Touchdown Celebration Was A Shot At The NFL's Stupid Rules
Browns receiver Andrew Hawkins caught an 11-yard touchdown pass in the first quarter of Sunday’s game against the Patriots. He celebrated the score in noticeably rigid fashion:...
The Panthers Are In Real Trouble
The defending NFC champs are seeing their season slip away faster than anyone could have predicted. After last night’s 17-14 loss to the Buccaneers, Carolina is now just the fifth team (of 100) to make a Super Bowl appearance and start the next season 1-4 or worse—the first since the 2004 Panthers....
Joe Panik Walkoff Double Keeps The Giants Alive
Joe Panik’s 13th-inning double to drive in Brandon Crawford gave the Giants a 6-5 win over the Cubs on Monday, keeping San Francisco’s season alive. The even-year cockroaches now have won 10 straight games while facing elimination....
Wisconsin-Based Vikings Fan Says He Was Stabbed Seven Times Over Inflatable Yard Decoration
While watching his team beat the Texans this Sunday, Vikings fan Dave Moschel heard a commotion outside in his yard where his prized Vikings inflatable lawn statue was standing. Moschel told WISC-TV that he went outside to find a 21-year-old rascal in the process of slashing his inflatable Viking ma...
Roberto Aguayo Goes From Goat To Hero By Finally Making A Field Goal<em></em>
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers are a mediocre, waterlogged 2-3 team and the biggest story of their season is the fragile psyche of their kicker, who they traded up to draft in the second round. Roberto Aguayo was the most accurate kicker in college football history, but he struggled throughout the preseas...
Hitters Still Can't Touch Madison Bumgarner But A Pitcher Just Knocked One Of His Balls To Fiji
If failure is success in Silicon Valley, then Madison Bumgarner is a champion tonight. The Giants ace, last seen choking the life out of the Mets, is laying an egg in an must-win against the Cubs. He came into the game with a streak of 23 straight scoreless innings in elimination games, but managed ...
The Bears Don't Know What They're Doing With Their Quarterbacks Either
The Chicago Bears have the following quarterbacks on their roster: Brian Hoyer, Matt Barkley, and Jay Cutler. Two of those dudes are bad. The other has an injured thumb and the disposition of a disgruntled tabby cat. Not the most enviable position to be in, but let’s see how john Fox plans to figure...
I Already Feel Bad For Adam Gase
Quarterback whisperer Adam Gase was the hottest name on the NFL coaching market the last couple of years. In 2014, he reportedly turned down the 49ers’ top job after being told he would have to keep Jim Tomsula on as defensive coordinator, and last year he interviewed with the Browns, Giants, and Ea...
Marquette King Is Good At The Internet
Raiders punter Marquette King is one of the best at his position in the NFL, landing in the top 10 in almost every major statistical category. He’s also a superb internet user whose crafted memes put my work for the Jamboroo to shame. This came to our attention this afternoon, when King dropped this...
Laremy Tunsil Hurt Himself Getting Out Of The Shower
Rookie offensive lineman Laremy Tunsil was a surprising omission from the Dolphins’ starting lineup yesterday, as he hadn’t been listed on any injury reports during the week leading up to the game. Today, head coach Adam Gase finally revealed why Tunsil was unable to play on Sunday, confirming a rep...
Ruth Bader Ginsburg Says Some Dumb Shit About Colin Kaepernick
It is, let me say here, quite weird to project your own beliefs and aspirations onto an octogenarian Supreme Court justice and expect it to never backfire. But woke Twitter folk hero Ruth Bader Ginsburg, center of a highly marketable personality cult, has some gross things to say about Colin Kaepern...