nf Page 532 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Cleveland Browns Are A Sick Joke
In the process of getting whooped by the Patriots today, the Browns cycled through three quarterbacks. It feels like every week, you hear that the Browns have hit a new low, and again, this week, the Browns hit a new low....
Colts' Jordan Todman Completely Ruins A Perfect Punt
Indianapolis Colts punter Pat McAfee would have had the Chicago Bears pinned inside the five-yard line with his kick in the third quarter, but running back Jordan Todman, who plays on the punting unit, screwed it all up....
Washington Gets First Punt Return Touchdown Since 2008, Misses Extra Point
Washington wide receiver Jamison Crowder scored a touchdown after an 85-yard punt return against the Ravens, but naturally, the team couldn’t pull off a dazzling highlight without screwing something up....
Matt Stafford's Day Is Fine, Notwithstanding
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Cody Kessler Injured On Brownsiest Of Browns Plays
More than ten yards to go for the first down? Check. Surrendering a safety? Check. Quarterback got hurt? Check. This play against the Patriots knocked Cody Kessler out with a chest injury and made what is already going to be a very bad day for the Browns even more painful....
Baseball Players Get Really Deep When Their Teams Are Down 0-2<em></em>
Three of the four MLB division series have one team in an 0-2 hole. This isn’t a great spot to be in a best-of-five series, but it’s a very great spot for hearing the emptiest and most hackneyed postgame platitudes that athlete speak has to offer. Some highlights from this weekend, grouped by team s...
Spare Your Eyeballs: Today's Guide To Ignoring The NFL
NFL uniforms are fucking hideous now. Look at this shit:...
Pinch-Hitter Madison Bumgarner Ends Up On Second In The Weirdest Way
With the Giants already down 1-0 in the NLDS, Jeff Samardzija was rightly yanked after just two innings tonight, having given up four runs on six hits....
Cam Newton Ruled Out For Monday Night Game Under Concussion Protocol
Carolina Panthers quarterback Cam Newton has been ruled out for Monday night’s game after suffering a concussion in last week’s loss to the Atlanta Falcons....
Johnny Cueto Was Brilliant, And It Didn't Matter
In a week that’s offered plenty in the way of high-quality postseason pitching—Corey Kluber’s virtuoso performance yesterday afternoon, Noah Syndergaard and Madison Bumgarner’s wild card duel—Johnny Cueto put up perhaps the best line of them all last night....
NFL Memo Blames Plummeting TV Ratings On Presidential Election, Bad Matchups
This afternoon, Darren Rovell tweeted a memo sent by the NFL’s executive vice president of media Brian Rolapp and senior vice president of broadcasting Howard Katz to the league’s “media committee,” regarding the league’s cratering television ratings, primarily for primetime broadcasts. Rolapp and ...
Here's A Raucous Brawl From The 49ers Game Last Night
Tipster Emil was at the 49ers game last night, and while he didn’t see his team do anything of worth on the football field, he had a front row seat to this big rowdy brawl....
Julio Jones's Excellence Made A Man Lose His Job
Falcons receiver Julio Jones had a 12-catch, 300-yard game Sunday against the Panthers. In an odd coincidence, Carolina released cornerback Bene’ Benwikere today....
It's Almost Colin Kaepernick Time
The San Francisco 49ers are bad, and their starting quarterback, Blaine Gabbert, is also bad. Gabbert was terrible against the Cardinals last night, throwing for just 162 yards while getting picked off twice, and he’s now got six picks and five TDs to go along with a completion percentage of 58. Th...
The Only Good 49ers Highlight Tonight Was Anthony Davis Doing Rude Blaine Gabbert Tweets
The 49ers lost to the Carson Palmer-less Cardinals by 12 points tonight in front of about 50 or 60 fans. Blaine Gabbert laid an egg and threw for 162 yards, along with a pair of picks and a pair of touchdowns. The most noteworthy thing the team did on the field was knock coconuts. The best highlight...
Still Unclear About Whether My Eyes Are Deceiving Me Or Not
TBS broadcasts MLB’s postseason each year, despite only carrying a few baseball broadcasts during the regular season. The network’s inability to do anything right produces embarrassing errors each season, and the one above is just one of at least four they’ve aired just tonight....
Antoine Bethea Goes In For Big Hit, Ends Up Taking Out His Own Teammate
49ers safety Antoine Bethea got a little overzealous while going for the ball (ostensibly) on this play. Instead of getting the pick or landing a hit on Cardinals receiver J.J. Nelson, Bethea slammed teammate Tramaine Brock right in the head. Brock had just managed to break up the deep ball, and he ...
Report: NFL Threatens To Fine Teams If They Use Too Much Footage On Social Media
Buried in Albert Breer’s column for MMQB this morning was a nugget suggesting just how seriously the NFL is taking their declining primetime TV audiences. Ratings in the 18-t0-49 demographic have fallen between 12 and 16 percent for Thursday, Sunday, and Monday night games, and the NFL, coincidental...
On Rites Of Passage<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here. ...