nf Page 921 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"They Won't Magically Turn You Into A Lustful Cockmonster": Chris Kluwe Explains Gay Marriage To The Politician Who Is Offended By An NFL Player Supporting It
Baltimore Ravens linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo has spoken out in favor of a Maryland ballot initiative that would legalize gay marriage. Yahoo has published a letter that Maryland state delegate Emmett C. Burns Jr. wrote last week to Ravens owner Steve Bisciotti, urging him to "inhibit such expressi...

Are You Ready For Many, Many More Years Of Chris Berman? ESPN Is.
Two months ago, there was buzz in Bristol that Chris Berman was on the verge of re-signing a big contract. Bristolites were surprised. First, his contract wasn't set to expire till May 2013, so why do anything 10 months before? Especially since ESPN let plenty of prominent contracts go down to the w...

Exclusive: Tyler Palko Is Not Working At A Shoe Store In South Dakota
NESN.com published a report on Thursday that said Tyler Palko, the former Kansas City Chiefs quarterback, was now working at a shoe store in Aberdeen, S.D. The source of this extraordinary news was Wikipedia, and NESN.com helpfully added this:...

Lions Fan Named Shawn Payton Sentenced For Calling In Superdome Bomb Threats During Playoffs
Back in January, Detroit's return to the playoffs was a bit of a thud, getting blown out in the second half by the once-and-future dome offense in New Orleans. But it wasn't for lack of trying, especially on the part of Shawn Payton, from Jackson, Mich. Payton was watching the game at home, and he d...

Colorado School District Says Peyton Manning Is A Gang Sign
If you're a student in the Greeley-Evans (Colo.) School District and you want to wear your brand-new Peyton Manning jersey to school, you might be gang-curious, according to the people who run your schools....

Art Modell, 1925-2012: Grifter, Traitor, Model NFL Owner
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Rob Gronkowski Dreams To One Day Own His Own Party Bus, And More
Rob Gronkowski is back to work. The Summer of Gronk is over. Sports Illustrated's Chris Ballard chronicled the final moments of our generation's most momentous offseason—you should read it, if you like sentences like, "What was I supposed to do, turn down the shots?"—and today on Twitter Ballard pro...

Roger Goodell's Sanctimonious Pledge To "Make Everything Safer, Including Our Military"
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Are Football Players Really Living Longer Than Baseball Players? Why Grantland's Study Is Wrong
Grantland recently published an article, "Mere Mortals," by Bill Barnwell, which claims that:...

"Art Modell Is Probably Talking To The Devil About Relocating Hell," Says Internet
Former Cleveland Browns and Baltimore Ravens owner Art Modell died this morning. He was 87. The reaction to his death on the internet, particularly from those with some connection to Northeast Ohio, was somewhat less than charitable. We've compiled a list of some of that reaction for you below. It's...

Jerry Jones, Job Creator, Has An Assistant Whose Job Is To Clean Jerry's Glasses
NBC provided a shot of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones in his luxury box during last night's Dallas-Giants season opener, and eagle-eyed fans would notice a young man in a dangerously-unbuttoned shirt accepting Jones's glasses, polishing them, then handing them back....

Rob Ryan Has Some Words For You, And Those Words Appear To Be "Go For It, Fuckface"
When the Cowboys put up a strong goal-line stand in the second quarter of tonight's NFL season-opener against the Giants, Dallas defensive coordinator Rob Ryan had some excitedly profane things to say. He also, it appears, had some taunting to do toward the Giants' sideline. (That or he's urging ...

Dez Bryant Thought He Could Fool The Scab Refs Into Ruling This Catch A Touchdown
I've watched this play in HD maybe six or seven times, and it's clear that Dez Bryant is down on the turf in at least three different places (both knees and his right elbow) and perhaps also his left elbow, although it was inconclusive from the replay. Nonetheless, if you thought NFL players were ...

Someone Is Flying A "Free Sean Payton" Banner Over The Meadowlands
All eyes are on the Cowboys-Giants game tonight, and Sean Payton coached for both teams before arriving in New Orleans, so I guess East Rutherford is as logical a place as any to fly this loud banner. It's not quite Franco Harris's cardboard Paterno, but it's something. [Via Ralph Vacchiano]...

Yep, That's A Big Old "Fuck Y'All I'm From Texas" T-Shirt On The NFL Network
Just less than three hours until the Cowboys and Giants kick off the NFL season, which means the NFL Network's only got three more hours to give us Mike Mayock and LaDainian Tomlinson yammering away, live from a North Jersey parking lot. But take note of that dude in the background, the one who happ...

The NFL Does Not Care If Games Are Unwatchable
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Bristolmetrics: <i>SportsCenter</i> Thinks You Can't Get Enough Of Roger Clemens
This is a regular feature breaking down, minute-by-minute, the content that appears on ESPN's 11 p.m. edition of SportsCenter throughout the week....

Why Grown Men Walk Around Wearing Football Jerseys
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season, except when the NFL decides to open the season on a Wednesday....

Happy NFL Opening Day! The CDC Says Football Players Are Three Times More Likely To Die From Degenerative Brain Disease.
Let no one say the Centers for Disease Control's PR department doesn't have a wicked sense of timing. They chose today, the day of the NFL Kickoff 2012 presented by Bud Light, to release a study confirming that no, football is not good for you, and yes, it will leave your brain a quivering porous ma...