nf Page 991 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's To Swimmin' With Bow-Legged Women: Your NFL Early Games Open Thread
The football season is almost six-seventeenths over. That's almost half a season. Which is almost a whole season. Football is basically over, OK? Let's talk about it down below. ...

Chip Kelly And Erin Andrews Want You To Shut Up When They're Speaking
Your morning roundup for Oct. 16, the day we learned that people can actually be crueler to others than we'd imagined they could. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Theme Of Last Night's NLCS Game Was Set When Jerry Hairston Got Bucknered At Third
Your morning roundup for Oct. 15, the day we totally realized that Tums commercial with a randy corn dog is really a work of dong-involved artistry. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Evening: Logan Morrison, Intentional Dong
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 14, the day the hipster cop came to save the day. Photo via Twitter. And yes, he knew we would post this. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Shitty <i>MNF</i> Game To Be Matched In Shittiness Only By Shitty <i>MNF</i> Intro
Doing a new one every week could be a good thing. Detroit! Blue collar town. Oh look, there's Barry Sanders! So what does the New York metropolitan area get for Monday's suckfest against the Dolphins? Fireman Ed, and "the passion and loyalty of the fan base." [Newsday]...

Oh, Great, Now Conference USA Is Merging With The Mountain West To Form A 22-Team Conference
Because why the fuck not, at this point? [MWC]...

Brandon Marshall's Game Plan This Week Calls For Getting Ejected And Maybe Fighting, Just So You Know
Brandon Marshall has given us a reason to talk about the Dolphins for something other than how terrible they are, and it's because of what he intends to do during Monday night's game against the Jets. Apparently Marshall hasn't been himself during the season's first four games, at least according t...

Tony Romo Boldly Predicts That The Cowboys Will Win A Super Bowl "At Some Point"
There was Namath, there was Ryan, and then there was Romo: "This team is going to win a Super Bowl at some point. It's going to be exciting when that time comes." Smart move here. You really can't go wrong when your deadline is some time between now and, say, the apocalypse. [PFT]...

A Native American In Denver Turns His Lonely Eyes To Tim Tebow
Your morning roundup for Oct. 14, the day Snoop Dogg, a Welsh farmer and a "real big vegetable" made for the greatest broadcast news story ever. Photo courtesy of Busted Coverage, via @SirKingRyan. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

This Evening: Everybody Sucks For Luck
Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 13, the day we saw the new Muppets trailer. Photos via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Michael Strahan Says The Jets Should Sign Tiki Barber Now
So tweeted the former Giant defensive end today, about his former teammate. "Watching these shows talk about Jets and say they need a running game. Green hasn't been what they expected so go sign Tiki Barber! #Done." Hey, speaking of done, Tiki Barber!...

Patriots TE Aaron Hernandez Ate A Piece Of Grilled Chicken In The Locker Room Today
"It's General Tso's chicken," Hernandez told reporters. "It's grilled, so it's pretty healthy."...

Tingling Sensations: From The Stands At Ford Field, Watching My Former NFL Teammate Get Knocked Out Of A Game
DETROIT—I'm here to see my friend Tony Scheffler play. He's a tight end for the Lions and my last, best connection to a modern NFL that churns through players too quickly to catch. This is my third season out of the league; sometimes, it feels like no one I played with is still playing. But of the f...

A Not-At-All Homoerotic Tribute To Shoulder Pads
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Buy Drew's new book, The Postmortal, through here. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Pete Carroll Pleads With LeBron, Because Apparently The Seahawks Need His Help To Underachieve
Your morning roundup for Oct. 13, the day we learned just how dangerous some sex toys can be. Photo via @PeteCarroll. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Chad Ochocinco Hopes You'll Be Patient If He's On Your Fantasy Football Team
After five games, New England Patriots wide receiver has caught nine passes for a total of 136 yards. Somehow, this ties into the time he lost his virginity....

If You're A Reporter From Outside Pittsburgh And You Want To Ask Mike Tomlin A Question, Make It Quick Don't Make It About Past Losses (UPDATED)
In keeping with the NFL's standard in-season practice of making coaches available to reporters from the opposing city on the Wednesday before an upcoming game, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin did a conference call today with the beat crew from Jacksonville. Well, sort of. He had little patience for any ...

ESPN Employee Denies ESPN Report That Said ESPN Employee Was Offered A Consulting Job With The Eagles
Sal Paolantonio reported one of those stories this morning that forced Philly's football media to ask the kind of question Eagles coach Andy Reid might actually have to answer. According to Sal Pal, the Eagles had tried to bring in former Browns coach (and current ESPN analyst) Eric Mangini to jog ...

Terrelle Pryor: "I Should Be On The Field Helping" Ohio State
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Regrets, Pryor's had a few....

The Real Reason For The NFL's Passing Explosion
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....