nhl-playoffs Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Vancouver Canucks Have A Scouting Report On Your Wife
Here's another gem I missed from the first-round of the NHL playoffs. It seems that the Canucks are not only trouncing St. Louis on the ice, but they also lead in trash-talk opposition research....

Your NHL Playoffs Are Ready
The matchups and schedule are set for the first round of the NHL playoffs. I hope your Versus subscription is up to date! [Puck Daddy]...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while wishing you had Dumbo's mom......

The Flyers Are Not Fond Of Game 1s
Sure, the Flyers eventually knuckled under to the Penguins' explosive attack after getting up early, but they're clearly just setting up the Pens like they did to the Caps and the Habs. Philly has lost the opener in each of its three series this postseason. The Pens have even gone as far as to crib ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while equipping your phone with a rape whistle......

About Last Night...
What you missed while buying Pierre the penguin a new sports car......

March Of The Penguins
Perhaps next time Jaromir Jagr should Czech his trash talking at the door (PUNTASTIC BURN!!!!) as the not quite Mario Lemieux-level Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin helped to erase a 3-0 Rangers lead to give the Pens a 1-0 series advantage. Jagr had a chance to tie in the waning moments, but clanged ...

New Jersey Devils Given New York Farewell
It's nice to see the NHL Playoffs' first round is filled with good-natured competitiveness. Certainly this is epitomized by the New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils — neighbors! — playing to a 5-3 Rangers victory, knocking the Devils out of the playoffs. And all Rangers fans can certainly apprecia...

That's One Sad Duck
The defending champion's from Anaheim are in some trouble after suffering a second home loss to open their series with the Dallas. A 5-2 victory puts the Stars in control of the first round series as the teams head to Dallas for the next contest. Things were tied up heading into the third period whe...

Nightmare Fuel From the NHL Playoffs
Holy sweet fucking God! I'm just going to sit here for a minute while appreciating my non-destroyed testicles. Continue after the jump for last night's scores, because we might as well talk about hockey as long as we're here. Oh, and a big thanks to Enrico at the 700 Level for making this the first...

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, NBC. Stanley Cup Finals. Anaheim Ducks @ Ottawa Senators. Or the All Children's Telethon, which should be good, too. • 8:00, ESPN2. Soccer. China vs. United States. If this game is so "friendly," why even keep score? • 8:30, TNT. NBA Playoffs. Detroit Pistons @ Cleveland Cavaliers. Craig Sag...

There Has To Be A Way To Combine A Hockey Game And A Telethon
Hockey continues to feel the sting of disrespect from their network television home. This time, the slap in the face isn't national, but limited to just the Tampa market. For now, anyway. We'll have to wait and see what happens if tonight's game goes into overtime....

Michael Bloomberg Cannot Be Bothered With Your 'Hockey'
Let it be known that Michael Bloomberg is a serious man with many important papers on his desk, and that his office has wood paneling and various brass fixtures. This leaves him little time for traditional sports wagers with other, lesser mayors....

Beer That Makes You SKINNY!
During the NHL Playoffs, your fans need to bust out the big guns if they're going to appropriately cheer your team onto victory. Your normal selection of Molson and elk bile isn't gonna do it; you're gonna need to start chugging the heroin beer....

Versus Still Working Out The Kinks
Late Wednesday night/Thursday morning, the Dallas Stars and Vancouver Canucks were in the midst of a four-overtime marathon game. Henrik Sedin took a pass from his brother Daniel, aimed to get a shot past Dallas goalie Marty Turco, and hey, could I interest you in the Winsor Pilates total body fitne...

NHL Western Conference Playoff Pants Party
OK, here's the second half of copyranter's NHL Playoff preview. We still haven't figured out what channel most of these games are on, by the way....

Fun With Facial Hair!
One of our favorite subplots of every NHL playoffs slate is the growing of a playoff beard. Because we didn't start puberty until we were 26, we still cannot grow a beard — honestly, we're barely a mammal — so we look at the tradition with envy. A solid playoff beard can foster team unity or, in a p...

NHL Eastern Conference Playoff Pants Party
Now that you have your playoff beards and your Molson, you should be ready for some NHL Stanley Cup Playoff action. One of the reasons we love the NHL Playoffs is that it's possible for games to last eight hours. At the end, everyone dies. Fun to watch....

Ladies And Gents, It's The NHL Playoffs
And you thought we forgot about hockey! Canuck, please!...