nhl Page 151 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Think Bernie Parent Wants To Sex Us All
That tingling in your loins? Don't be alarmed. It's natural. Because even if their owners aren't aware, nether regions across North America have a way of knowing when they're about to be served up to a burly French Canadian. Lay down a tarp and prepare for a flood of lovejuice, because Bernie Parent...
Matthew Barnaby Is Suing The Former Miss Buffalo To Get Back A $50,000 Engagement Ring And An SUV
Matthew Barnaby's love life just can't stay out of the penalty box. Less than two years after he was arrested for harassing his ex-wife, the 39-year-old former NHL troublemaker and shitcanned ESPN hockey analyst filed suit this week in the New York State Supreme Court to get back both the $50,000 di...
Coyotes Sale Falls Apart As Prospective Owner Can't Come Up With The Money
The drama surrounded Coyotes ownership has raged for years, from one owner putting the team into bankruptcy, to the NHL buying the Yotes up, to the courts blocking one sale because the league opposed Jim Balsillie's plan to move the team to Hamilton, Ontario, to the emergence of Greg Jamison as a po...
Mike Komisarek's Frustrating Practice Led To Emergency Eye Surgery
Maple Leafs defenseman Mike Komisarek had a rough practice on Monday....
Kari Lehtonen Made The Best Save Of This Young NHL Season
It shouldn't have come to this. Dallas's Kari Lehtonen should never have had to make this spinning, behind-the-back swipe that kept the Stars-Blue Jackets game scoreless. Even screened by Nick Foligno, Lehtonen will probably be the first to tell you he should have gloved the puck, or knocked it do...
Nail Yakupov Had A Perfect Celebration For His Game-Tying Goal Last Night
It's hockey season. Didn't you know it was hockey season? We know this hockey season will be unlike other hockey seasons in at least one way: It's short. But we don't yet know whether this season will resemble the last three NHL seasons in another way. Will the Edmonton Oilers be really young and ...
Headline Above Newspaper's Blowjob Pantomime Photo: "Taking Hard Hit To Chin"
Yesterday, we all had a good laugh at the Columbus Dispatch's photo of the pivotal play from Monday night's Red Wings-Blue Jackets game. Something something Damien Brunner scored a shootout goal something something we think the Red Wings won something something ... oh, look: That fan in the front ro...
OK, What The Hell Is Going On With Roberto Luongo?
Not two years ago, Roberto Luongo was one of the best goaltenders in the game. He was, if not beloved by Vancouver, at least embraced as the man most responsible for making the Canucks a Cup contender. But something weird happened. He fell out of favor, even before the Canucks fell in a Game 7. This...
Newspaper Photograph Of Hockey Game Highlighted By Fan's Blowjob Pantomime
The Columbus Dispatch's game story today tells us about the SRO crowd at Nationwide Arena, the outstanding play of goalie Sergei Bobrovsky, and the moral victory the Blue Jackets apparently earned with their close loss to the Red Wings and their aging roster....
Paul MacLean Was Haunted By A Doppelgänger Last Night
Ottawa smoked the Florida Panthers 4-0 last night, but the more entertaining portion of the game was the man behind the Senators' bench who bore a striking resemblance to Ottawa coach Paul MacLean. The amusing double-shots continued for much of the game, until something tragic happened: they ejecte...
A Young Bruins Fan Found Something Questionable In His Food
As part of the Bruins' "sorry about the lockout" apology tour (and Jeremy Jacobs being personally responsible for making it so long and acrimonious), fans are getting free food. Lots of free food! For each of Boston's five home games in January, each fan gets three vouchers for food or non-alcohol...
The Dallas Stars Showed An Empty Chair On The Jumbotron, Identified It As "Manti Te'o's Girlfriend"
Like SNL, half of minor league baseball, and Mets GM Sandy Alderson, the Dallas Stars had some fun with the Manti Te'o story yesterday. During their home-opener (a 4-3 win over the Phoenix Coyotes) the stadium's jumbotron operators spotted an empty seat and, in a mash-up of old Clint Eastwood empty-...
What's Hockey?
In preparation for the resumption of the long-delayed season, we've compiled a brief refresher on "hockey."...
Oilers Rookies Nail Yakupov And Justin Schultz Have A Friendly Put-The-Puck-In-The-Crate Competition
There's plenty of reason for excitement in Edmonton—the Oilers have been terrible for long enough to build a young core unlike hockey's ever seen. Along with 22-year-old budding star Jordan Eberle, 2010 first-overall pick Taylor Hall, and 2011 first-overall pick Ryan Nugent-Hopkins, the Oilers hav...
NBC's NHL Promo Tries To Rewrite Last Season's Playoff Results
The Flyers beat the Penguins in the first round of the playoffs last year, yet it wasn't as simple as that. The teams combined for 56 goals, hundreds of penalty minutes, and multiple suspensions. It was simultaneously the ugliest and most entertaining playoff series in recent member. But the Flyer...
The Stars Hired Their Own Beat Reporter. Will The NHL Be Able To Keep Its Hands Off This Time?
The Dallas Stars announced earlier this week that they're hiring Mark Stepneski to cover the team. He'll run a blog, StarsInsideEdge.com, and his work will appear on the club's official site. He's been writing about the Stars since 1996 on his personal blog, and covering them for ESPN Dallas for two...
Hockey's Back, But The Media Still Doesn't Know Who The Kings Are
It became a running joke last season, as the Kings cruised to a Stanley Cup, that the Los Angeles media couldn't quite grasp the concept of a hockey team. The Kings were misidentified in onscreen graphics, the players' names slaughtered by sportscasters, even their mascot mixed up with his NBA count...
Who's Happiest The NHL Lockout Is Over? John Tortorella's Wife.
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Also, blood pressure medication makers are happy Torts is back....
After The Maple Leafs Fired Him, Brian Burke Had A Sad Afternoon
The Toronto Maple Leafs canned general manager Brian Burke on Wednesday. We're not sure what it took for Burke to get fired immediately after the end of a lockout. If team brass didn't like the direction he was taking Toronto, they should have fired him before free agency and the draft; otherwise, t...
Sean Pronger Is In Our Office Right Now To Answer Your Questions
Sean Pronger, who played everywhere from San Diego to Columbus to Frankfurt, has written a book, Journeyman, about life as a moving part in hockey. If you liked yesterday's excerpt about being hung over and thrown on a line with Wayne Gretzky, pick it up. Sean's here now, so ask away—he seems sober ...