night Page 216 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Last Night's Winner: Lunatic America
So, yeah, the towering weirdos and self-styled public slapdicks are big winners yet again, and this being America, we cannot let such a momentous occasion pass without being loudly stupid about it....

Last Night's Winner: Edgar Renteria, MVP The Earl Weaver And Babe Ruth Way
It's not a shock that the Giants did it with pitching, defense and the three-run homer, as espoused by Weaver. It is a shock that the homer came from dink-hitter Edgar Renteria, and that he apparently called his shot....

Your "Arena Football-Level Passing Numbers" Texans-Colts Open Thread
Indy is seriously banged up, but Houston has the worst passing defense in the league. Think Manning will throw a TD or five? Schaub to Johnson isn't too shabby either. AFC South supremacy on the line here. Musings below....

Football Beat The World Series In The Ratings. Huh.
As Deadspin's resident crazy old coot railing against things not being like they were back when I was a lad, I've been asked to comment on a regular season NFL game beating a World Series game for the first time ever....

Weekend Winner: Madison Bumgarner
There isn't much to say about Madison Bumgarner's performance last night that wasn't captured in the three strikeout pitches that briefly turned Vladimir Guerrero into Rob Deer. Watch....

Texas's Terracotta-Army-Like Statues Are Here To Frighten And Confuse Us All
What you see here a nice piece of statuary built in honor of one of the great Texas Longhorns of all time: Al Jolson....

Last Night's Winner: The Barry Bonds Redemption Tour
So Barry Bonds wants to be a hitting coach. To most of America it's a ludicrous notion, until he returns to AT&T Park for pregame festivities, and we see just how beloved he still is in San Francisco....

Last Night's Winner: Paper Champions, Written In Pencil
Yes, that's Justin Bieber wearing Phil Jackson's NBA Championship ring. That's one more ring than LeBron James or Chris Bosh have had on their fingers, despite preseason plaudits all-but-guaranteeing them a 70-win season. Just 70 more to go....

Last Night's Winner: Dumb, Vaguely Crooked Proposals To Preserve Our Quaint Ideal Of Amateurism
The hot new idea being bruited by the Coalition Of People Who Take Amateurism Seriously (Sponsored by Nike) is to levy "post-NCAA financial penalties" on professional players who ran around with agents during college, which is like the whorehouse fining the whore....

Weekend Winner: The Guy Who Won A PGA Event With A Goddamned Hole-In-One
Going into the fourth sudden-death playoff hole, tied with two other players, Jonathan Byrd teed off. That was all he needed....

Last Night's Winner: Roy Halladay's Junk
The Giants had a chance to shut the door and go back to their second World Series this decade, but Roy Halladay befuddled them. This despite what one writer so wonderfully characterized as a "barking" groin....

Last Night's Winner: Buster Posey's Seasoning
Posey happened all over the place yesterday—4-for-5 and a play at home that was something like full-contact jai alai—and it reminded us that once, before the media began handing out Fields Medals and MacArthur Grants, Brian Sabean was an idiot....

Last Night's Winner: The Continued Glorification Of Brain Mushification
The NFL says they want to cut back on concussions, and step one is punishing helmet-to-helmet hits. Step two is professionally matting and framing a handsome photo of those brutal hits, and selling it to you!...

America Explains Itself
We asked you, the fine television viewers of America, why you preferred a crap regular season football game to a great playoff baseball game. You responded, justifying your choice for four reasons....

No, ESPN Did Not Tell The MNF Coaches To Take Timeouts (UPDATE)
Paranoia swept the blogosphere this morning, as word spread like wildfire that ESPN had told the Jaguars and Titans to use their timeouts at the end of a blowout to get more commercial breaks. Great story. Too bad it's not true....

Goddamnit It, America
You could have watched an exciting, important game, a tense changing of the guard of the best playoff pitchers ever. Or you could have watched Kerry Collins and Trent Edwards trade handoffs in a meanlingless AFC South contest. Guess which you chose....

Last Night's Winner: None More Black (Quarterbacks)
After Vince Young and David Garrard exited with injuries, week 6 saw only three black QBs finish the game for their team — easily the lowest number since people started noting this sort of thing. Maybe Rush Limbaugh is last night's winner....

Bill Self Dresses Up As One-Hit Wonder Vanilla Ice For Kansas's Late Night In The Phog
Kansas coach Bill Self told 16,500 fans that the 2008 title "was great," but it's time to "cut down some more nets." Then, the one-time champion came out dressed as Vanilla Ice, who some might call a one-hit wonder....

Weekend Winner: The New Human Cockfighting
DeSean Jackson has memory loss. Dunta Robinson sustained a head injury of his own. Zack Follett got carted off the field and was in bad enough shape that the fact that he could feel his extremities counted as great news....

Last Night's Winner: Ines Sainz, Shrinking Violet
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Ines Sainz, who never wanted to be famous. That's why she held a big look-at-me press conference to announce some things sure to get her back in the news....