night Page 230 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Tom Brady Is Out Of Suzy Kolber's League
Tom Brady was lucky to escape last night with a win. Needless to say, escaping Suzy Kolber's post-game advances wasn't as easy. [With Leather](Video BarStoolSports/NYC)...

You May Now Commence Swooning
Summon the trumpets and cry the hosannas! Tackle football shall be played on the evening of the day following Sunday, and your beloved hero has returned to lead you home. Also, the Raiders will be involved....

Richard Seymour Boldly Accepts His Deportation to the North Korea of the NFL
Richard Seymour has agreed to play for the Raiders this season and is expected to suit up for the team Monday night against the Chargers. We think Seymour's wife Tanya will fit right in with the Oakland Coliseum fans. [ESPN]...

Ray Allen Has The Eye Of The Tiger
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Meet Crusher, Nightmare Ant's Crustacean Relation
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

Indiana To Make Nice With Bobby Knight
Bobby Knight will be inducted into the Indiana University Hall of Fame, less than 10 years after he was given the boot for yelling at kids. That should be a fun ceremony, huh?...

Colorado Gives Football Player A Blog, Takes It Away When He Blogs About His Libido
Colorado's athletic department recently gave Ben Burney a blog, ostensibly to provide a glimpse into the life of a college football player. Which was a fine idea until Burney provided a glimpse into the life of a college football player....

The One With Bizarro Topless Eric Snow And Other Things
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

UCF Fans Fight For Their Predawn Drinking
Central Florida boosters are used to beginning their tailgating at 7 a.m. New regulations have them up in arms and threatening to boycott the team. What's the new, draconian starting time? An hour later, 8 a.m....

BK-Sponsored Soccer Kit Will Make You Cry
OK, it's pretty bad to watch Beckham jog around in his Galaxy Herbalife jersey. But things could be worse. They could be much, much worse....

They Call Him MISTER Pig
Because Deadspin hasn't nearly covered Furries enough this month (exhibits A and B), here's Green Bay's Nick Barnett with some new friends. [Twitter, via reader Tim]...

Buzz Bissinger's <em>3 Nights In August</em> To Become 2 Hours Wasted At Your Local Multiplex
That other baseball movie is flailing about, but the adaptation of 3 Nights In August, Bissinger's Moneyball diss track and paean to Tony La Russa and the manly virtues of lineup construction, is moving along nicely. The nerds can't win....

Deadspin Classic: A Disco Inferno
In an alternate universe, Deadspin's archives would cover the whole scope of human history. Occasionally, we like to revisit those timeless moments that we would have written about, if only we could have. Today: The night disco died....

Oh, The Things We Could Demolish Today
Thirty years ago today was the death of disco at Comiskey Park. A wacky promotion turned into Woodstock '79 as tens of thousands of rock and roll purists stormed the field....

Hypospadias And You: An In-Depth Study Of Bong Dick
I live in the DC area and I have a baby boy, so it's only natural that scientists have now discovered that DC drinking water might be deforming baby boy's genitals. WOOHOO!...

Just In Case You Wanted To Know What A Dwarf Wrestler Funeral Looks Like
Those two little masked heroes that were killed by bandit hookers last week had a well-attended funeral, which could have easily been mistaken for a Rob Zombie film. [The Sun via BarStoolSports]...

Let's Get This Over With Early: Joakim Noah Smokes Weed, Anonymous, Possibly Fake Text Messager Says
"smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands" [Texts From Last Night] (PHOTO: Not From Last Night)...

Minor League Promotion Violates Human Rights Laws, Constitution
It's a remarkable world we live in when a promotion meant to celebrate women can get written up as a violation of human rights laws. I hope Amnesty International doesn't have to be called for the next Free Bat Night....

Billy Mays Dead At 50
"Billy Mays here!" Not anymore. Chad Ochocinco was wrong. This is worse than 9/11. Now let's all watch his ESPN360 commercials and weep gently. [TBO]...

I've Always Said To Get The Full NASCAR Experience, You Need To Bring An Extra Fake Leg
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