night Page 241 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after riding your 3,000-pound stingray ... • Little League Softball: World Series, semifinals, teams TBA, at Portland, Ore. (7 and 9:30 p.m., ET). ESPN must be stopped. [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Atlanta (7 p.m., ET). Just not the same without Harry and Skip. [WGN] • Olympics: Boxi...
To Watch Tonight ...
When your name is Almighty Supremebeing Allah, you probably shouldn't be caught with cocaine in your car ... • Little League Baseball: Mid-Atlantic regional final, teams TBA, at Bristol, Conn. (8 p.m., ET). You've never heard of smores? You're killing me, Smalls! [ESPN2] • MLB: Philadelphia at Los A...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after taking your grandchild out for a little fresh air ... • Boxing: Light heavyweights, Tavoris Cloud vs. Julio Cesar Gonzalez, at Chicago (9 p.m., ET). Tavoris Cloud warnings are nothing to take lightly in the Midwest. [ESPN2] • Little League Baseball: Southeast regional final, at S...
Gigantic AT&T Logo Of Doom Rings In Olympic Games
Look, coming out of the floor ... it's the Death Star! Aiieee! It all began in Nov., 2005, when China rolled out its nightmare-inducing Olympic mascots, which may or may not include a two-footed goat. And now it culminates in an orgasm of pomp, color and spectacle — like Walt Disney throwing up, as ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while eating your Mafia Salad ... • Little League Baseball: Southwest regional final, Richmond, Texas vs. Lake Charles, La., at Waco, Texas (9 p.m., ET). These poor kids have been playing baseball since April. Enough! [ESPN2] • NFL preseason: New Orleans at Arizona (8 p.m., ET). Why no...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while safe and secure in the No Ho Zone ... • Boxing: Junior welterweights, Chris Fernandez vs. Ali Oubaali, at New York (9 p.m., ET). Oubaali: Born in France, lives in Brooklyn. Is there a bigger contradiction? [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Yankees at Texas (8 p.m., ET). 92 degrees; 42 per...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after handling your sauce emergency ... • Men's Basketball: USA vs. Australia, at Shanghai (8 p.m., ET, taped). Please do not reveal the dramatic result. [ESPN2] • MLB: Padres at Mets (7:10 p.m., ET). Mr. Met is tingly with pennant fever. [SNY] [Ch. 4 Padres] • World Extreme Cagefighti...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after turning your cat gay ... • MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs (7 p.m., ET) Return of Kerry Wood looms. [ESPN] • Cheap Seats: Wide World of Sports. (11 p.m., ET). The segment that won six Cheapy Awards. [ESPN Classic] • American Gladiators: (8 p.m., 7 p.m. CT). Yeah, I drive to work in ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after reigning triumphant in the cell phone throwing contest ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Jean Pascal vs. Fulgencio Zuniga, at Montreal (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]; Junior middleweights, Pawel Wolak vs. Ishe Smith; lightweights, Jorge Teron vs. Michael Lozada, at New York (11 p.m., same...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after telling the World's Oldest Joke and still getting a laugh ... • Basketball: U.S. men's national team vs. Turkey, at Macau (5 p.m., ET, taped). May involve an actual turkey. [ESPN2] • Extreme sports: X Games, at Los Angeles (9 p.m., ET). I'll be blowin' you up as soon as I buy som...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you're hurled across the gym by the weight machine ... • Boxing: Light welterweights, Jose Luis Castillo vs. Sebastian Lujan, at El Cajon, Calif. (9 p.m., ET). Castillo's nickname is "El Terrible," which I suppose can be taken two ways ... [ESPN2] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Milwaukee...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after voting for a Schmuck ... • MLB: Cubs at Brewers (8 p.m., ET). Fire up the 12-person beer bong. [WGN] • MLB: Diamondbacks at Padres (10:10 p.m., ET). ComicCon moves out of town, Padres move back in. [FSN] [Channel 4 Padres] • Documentary: City on Fire, The Story of the '68 Detroit...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while writing your own Will Ferrell movie ... • MLB: Angels at Red Sox (7 p.m., ET). Here's your ALCS preview. [ESPN] • MLB: Mets at Marlins (7:10 p.m., ET). Attendance over-under ... 15,500. [SNY] [FSN] • Movie: The Karate Kid (9 p.m., ET). In Okinawa, belt mean no need rope to hold u...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as your 5-year-old son goes to Hooters ... • Basketball: Men's national teams, USA vs. Canada, at Las Vegas (8 p.m., ET). The road to the gold goes through Sam Dalembert. [ESPN] • Cycling: Tour de France, Stage 19, Roanne to Montiucon (8 p.m., ET). It's almost over, folks. [Versus] • T...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch instead of going to Disney World ... • Cycling: Tour de France, stage 18,Bourg-d'Oisans to Saint-Etienne, France (8 p.m., ET). There's a surrender joke here somewhere. [Versus] • Soccer: MLS, All-Star Game, MLS All-Stars vs. West Ham United, at Toronto (7 p.m., ET). Hooligans, assemble...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize we'll never be as tough as the British ... • Boxing: Super middleweights, Jeff Lacy vs. Epifanio Mendoza, at Cabazon, Calif. (9 p.m., ET). A very convenient location for a fight, if you own a camel. [ESPN2] • Cycling: Tour de France, stage 17, Embrun to L'Alpe-d'Huez, Fr...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy a garage-full of beer ... • Cycling: Tour de France, stage 16, Cuneo, Italy to Jausiers, France (8 p.m., ET). I'll bring the dzballs. [Versus] • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Arizona (9:30 p.m., ET). Soriano return imminent? [WGN] • WNBA: Los Angeles at Detroit (7 p.m., ET). Unplug...
There May Be An A-Rod/Madonna Sex Tape. Is There No End To Our Suffering?
A New York man is claiming that he has a Madonna-Alex Rodriguez sex tape, and wants a million pounds for it. Of course, fundraisers are being organized furiously at this moment to pay the guy to burn all copies. Even Queen Elizabeth is chipping in with a few random palace jewels. Give till it hurts,...
Goodnight, Sandman, Goodnight
You might remember Sandman for his mid-'90s ECW feuds with Tommy Cairo and Raven, or the infamous Singapore Caning. But these days, James Fullington is branching out. He was arrested on Sunday night after a spree of drunken mayhem, which included throwing an entire tray of beer glasses at the police...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch on the subway ... • MLB: Brewers at Cardinals. (7 p.m., ET). Ray Durham acquisition tips the balance of power. [ESPN] • MLB: Rangers at White Sox. (8:11 p.m., ET). I'll meet you in front of the Harold Baines statue. [KDFI] [WCIU] • Cycling: Tour de France (8 p.m., ET). This is a rest d...