night Page 244 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after buying high heel shoes for your baby ... • College World Series: in Omaha, North Carolina vs. Fresno State (7 p.m., ET). Party on, Omaha. [ESPN2]. • NBA Finals: Game 6, Lakers vs. Celtics (9 p.m., ET). Game is so late due to media's notorious west coast bias [ABC]. • MLB: Cubs at...
About Last Night
What you missed while watching hot lesbian action ... • MLB: Tigers just can't catch a break in this town. San Francisco 8, Detroit 6. • Soccer: Germany conquers Austria, annexes the Sudetenland. • NBA: Ray Allen will be at the dance, girls. He WILL be there....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after displaying your enormous pink balls ... • Arena Football League: Colorado at Arizona (10 p.m., ET). Like playing football in your garage without the danger of sharp tools. [ESPN2] • College baseball: College World Series, at Omaha, Stanford vs. Georgia (7 p.m., ET). Tell that bul...
Petey P. Cup Has A New Sidekick! (Yikes)
I imagine that in Barry Bonds' fevered dreams — when he sleeps at all — this is pretty much all he sees. We've told you about Petey P. Cup, the urine sample mascot for HealthPartners.com. But now meet his new sidekick, Pokey Syringe. Together they fight crime crusade for gay rights terrorize prostit...
About Last Night
The joke is on the leopard ... he got off at the wrong stop ... • It was awfully nice of the Lakers to allow the Celtics to win the NBA title at home. (NOTE: Should LA come back and win this, this post never happened. Got it?). • MLB: Yankees beat Astros 13-0, and you can make your own damned Wang j...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while shopping for cheap airfare to Bulgaria, Copenhagen and Stockholm... • In Progress — Coverage of Tiger Woods winning the U.S. Open [NBC] • 5 p.m. — Soccer: Barbados at U.S.A. Fear the ragin' Bajans. [ESPN2] • 7 p.m. — College World Series: LSU vs. North Carolina. Where can you see...
About Last Night...
What you missed while shopping for the ten best fictional dads for Fathers Day... • U.S. Open: Tiger Uppercut! The one-and-a-half-kneed wonder leads Lee Westwood by one shot. But will we see the Hundred Hand Slap prevail in the final round? • NCAA Baseball: Stanford scores 11 runs in the 9th to beat...
Gurn Save The Queen
Here in America, you win a major sports championship, and you meet the president. Across the pond, when you stick your head through a horse collar and make a face better than anyone else, you meet the Queen. That line was actually in the original Magna Carta....
Bob Knight Interrupts Speech To Give Job Recommendation
Cell phone etiquette: we've mostly nailed it down. Don't talk while driving. Don't text during class. Don't clean your ear with the antenna. Bob Knight probably treats cell phone like the 3-point line in basketball. He'll begrudgingly accept them into his world, but the minute he's appointed Mayor O...
About Last Night
What you missed while attending the retirement party for your commenter screenname, the one with the dangly hyphens... • U.S. Open: Tiger Woods would be in first, if it weren't for that meddling Stuart Appleby. • MLB: Yankees beat 'Stros 2-1, and Joba Chamberlain is up to six — 6! — innings. Ah ah a...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you celebrate the 100th anniversary of the teabag ... • Boxing: Cruiserweights, Ola Afolabi vs. Francisco Palacios, at Scranton, Pa., (9 p.m., ET). Although this fight may have been scratched. [ESPN2] • Golf: U.S. Open Championship, second round, at La Jolla, Calif., (5 p.m., ET). I...
Rock Out With Your Box Out
ESPN once again begins its summer programming guaranteed to annoy and alienate most of its viewers, though this time instead of "Who's Now-ing" people into a self-mutilating rage, they'll induce copious amounts of ear blood. Awful Announcing points us to the latest in silly synergistic promotional a...
About Last Night
What you missed while being reminded once again that you don't mess with the Zohan ... • NBA: That's what you get for turning off the game in the third quarter. Celtics take 3-1 series lead over Lakers. • Golf: You can all just eat Kevin Streelman's U.S. Open dust, suckers! • NHL: All your Lester B....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after naming your children "Olympic Games" and "Space Travel" ... • Boxing: Women's junior featherweight championship, Lisa Brown vs. Alicia Ashley; junior featherweights, Jeri Sitzes vs. Ela Nunez, at Uncasville, Conn. (8 p.m., ET). Million Dollar Baby. [FSN] • NBA: Finals, Game 4, Bo...
About Last Night
All those who guessed that the cubicle rampage video was a fake, please come collect your winnings ... • MLB: All hail the walkoff grand slam. Everybody say Uggla! Marlins 6, Phillies 2. • Soccer: Wait, they have Cristiano Ronaldo, and Pepe? How can Portugal ever lose? • NFL: I Am Legend ... Will Sm...
To Watch Tonight
Yes, but they left an excellent tip ... • Boxing: Light middleweights, Sechew Powell vs. Deandre Latimore, at New York (9 p.m., ET). Always bet on the boxer whose first name sounds like someone sneezed. [ESPN2]. • MLB: Atlanta at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). That Cubs' swoon is way behind schedule. [E...
About Last Night
What you missed while preparing to flee into outer space ... • NBA: March toward inevitable Game 7 continues ... Lakers 87, Celtics 81. • MLB: I sense a great disturbance in The Force ... Noooo! • NHL: Ron Wilson, fired by Sharks, finds employment in Canada....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you finally locate dad ... • MLB: Atlanta at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). Let's see; if Chipper goes 2-for-5, his average will be ... oh why must you make me do math? [WGN] • NBA: Finals, Game 3, Boston at Los Angeles Lakers. All seats have been taken by celebrities. Sorry, folks. ...
About Last Night
What you missed while noticing that the head of the World Health Organization's department of HIV/AIDS has an unfortunate name ... • Ruud van Nistelrooy sends Italians to brink of World Cup qualifying doom. • NFL: In non-Ruud van Nistelrooy news, the Bears cut Cedric Benson. • Agent Zero opts out of...