night Page 334 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while FINALLY finishing Thanksgiving leftovers ... • Monday Night Football: Falcons 36, Saints 17, and America yawns, because, you know, that whole hurricane empathy thing is so not in style anymore. • NBA: Kobe's 43 lead Lakers over Mavericks, forcing Mark Cuban to return to his bur...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to grow yourself a Stan Van Gundy stache... • Monday Night Football: New Orleans at Atlanta. We love MNF in the worst way, and it appears that, this week, that's how we're getting it. [ABC] • NHL: Flightless Sea Fowl at Red Wings. We're into our second week of Super Mario ...
About Last Night ...
Your pants are on the roof and for some reason the cat is wearing lipstick. Good morning. We'll bring you up to speed ... • NFL: Colts beat Jaguars to go 13-0 and grab home field advantage. Word. • NHL: Sabres beat Wild as Martin Biron becomes first goalie to win 10 straight starts since 2002. Didn'...
To Watch Tonight...
• NBA. Detroit @ LA Clippers. Because it will be nice for Rip Hamilton to go up against Sam Cassell. He so rarely gets to see people uglier than he is. • College basketball. Boston College @ Maryland. Battles between Eagles and Turtles are just so unpredictable. • NFL. Detroit @ Green Bay. Actually,...
About Last Night...
• Film: Codebreakers. You know, I think Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Taran Noah Smith might've been carrying Zachery Ty Bryan all those years on Home Improvement. My favorite part was when he called someone an "a-hole." • College basketball: Nevada 56, UCLA 67. UCLA gets the W, despite Nick Fazekas go...
To Watch Tonight...
• Heisman Trophy Presentation. There's not likely to be any entertainment value here, of course, but you might want to catch a few more Codebreakers promos. • College Basketball. Illinois @ Oregon. Because if you don't watch, you'll probably hurt Will's feelings. • Ice Wars: Battle of the Sexes. I'd...
About Last Night...
While I was trying to figure out a way to not feel like Carson Daly to Will's Conan O'Brien......
To Watch Tonight
"You dress like the tube, you eat like the tube, you raise your children like the tube, you even think like the tube. This is mass madness, you maniacs." • College Football: Division I-AA tournament, semifinal, Northern Iowa at Texas State. USC? Notre Dame? Who are they? Panthers vs. Bobcats in San ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed when raccoons locked you in the cellar ... • College Basketball: UConn avoids repeat of last season's embarrassing upset (and by the way, you still owe us $20 on that one) by beating UMass 78-60. • NHL: Dissension reigns as Flightless Sea Fowl lose sixth straight, 5-0 to Minnesota. •...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you and the sofa become one ... • College Football: Home Depot Awards Show. The Maxwell and Bednarik Awards will be handed out, and if dropped and broken, will be quickly repaired. [ESPN] • College Basketball: Georgetown at Illinois [ESPN]; Massachusetts at Connecticut. Time for non...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while reading a book (don't let it happen again) ... • College Basketball: No. 1 Duke prepares for No. 2 Texas by beating Penn 72-59. You prepare by eating three helpings of nachos. • NBA: Suns beat Warriors for eighth straight win, a fact that would have slipped under your radar we'...
To Watch Tonight
Hey, get over to the sofa. That TV isn't going to watch itself ... • College Basketball: Notre Dame at Alabama. Irish's first-ever trip to Coleman Coliseum should at least be good for a few laughs. [ESPN] • College Basketball: Penn at Duke; Saint Louis at North Carolina. What is a Billiken? Tar Heel...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while Googling yourself ... • College Basketball: Michigan State gives Dan Shaughnessy something to complain about today. (Actually: It was Bob Ryan.) • NBA: Jamal Crawford returns to hometown, helps Knicks beat SuperSonics. Well, his usefulness is at an end. • NHL: The Power of One:...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your inflatable lawn Santa snaps its moorings and terrorizes the neighborhood ... • College Basketball: Jimmy V Classic, at New York: Kansas vs. Saint Joseph's; Michigan State vs. Boston College. In the tradition of the late, great Jim Valvano, let's all take a test for an athlete t...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while wrapping Christmas pres ... hey, where's the cat? • Monday Night Football: Seahawks stomp Eagles 42-0. If this is parity, we'd like to see the alternative. • NBA: Brand's 37 points lead first-place Clippers over Heat. Yes, we said "first-place Clippers." We know. Odd. Now let's...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch when you get tired of microscopic views of saliva on CSI: Duluth ... • College Basketball: Arkansas-Little Rock at Illinois. We're not even sure if we get ESPNU, but damn it, we've got a remote with 200 buttons and we're gonna try. [ESPNU] • Monday Night Football: Seattle at Philadelph...
Gotta Support The Team
When we were a kid, we would always stay in the stadium hours after Illinois football games ended so we could watch the players and press meet by the tunnel to the locker rooms; something about balding paunchy men interviewing people 30 years their junior fascinated us even then. We never quite ha...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while proposing ... • NFL: Giants beat Cowboys 17-10, unrealistically rasing your expectations once again. • NBA: Kobe clinches win with free throws as Lakers beat adorably named Bobcats. • College Basketball: It's in the hole! Dockery's 40-foot heave cleans Virginia Tech's clock....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while taking a break from teaching the cat to catch a Frisbee ... • Boxing: Featherweights, Robert Guerrero vs. Gamaliel Diaz; welterweights, Paul Williams vs. Alfonso Sanchez. As a rule we don't believe that violence is the answer, unless the question is "Who took the remote?" [Showti...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while watching Dave and Oprah make out ... • NBA: Kobe fouls out, Lakers still beat Jazz in OT. There's a new sheriff in town. Say it with us: Sasha Vujacic. • College Basketball: Nick Fazekas leads Nevada over Kansas. The sentence you thought you might go your whole life without rea...