nma Page 84 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Look At Shawn Marion's Disgustingly Dislocated Pinkie
Shawn Marion could care less that his pinkie looks like this and terrifies small children. He doesn't plan to get it fixed. He feels no pain. Good thing this is on his left hand (just saying). A few more nasty details from ESPN's Dallas outpost:...

Dennis Rommedahl Scores An Absolute Rocket
It may have escaped your attention, what with Wales and England's titanic battle at the Millennium Stadium being so tight and tense, but Norway played Denmark at the weekend and the score finished 1-1. BOOORING!...

Let's Start The Day With A Story About Kindness
Your morning roundup for March 27, the day people continue to concern themselves with Dennis W. Peterson losing his front teeth at a Hooters....

This Woman Crashed A Car With 54 Bags Of Heroin In Her Vagina
Karin Mackaliunas of Scranton, Pennsylvania could be a character on The Office — if they had a character who stuffs 54 bags of heroin, cash, empty bags, and pills in her vagina and then crashes a car. Bloated much?… [Jalopnik] ...

The Sacramento Kings' Transformation Into A Third-Rate L.A. Basketball Team Is Underway
The booze-and-gambling inheritors who run the Sacramento Kings filed trademarks earlier this month on several names that might just mean something, according to the The Sacramento Bee. Among them:...

Boom Goes The Student Sportscaster Didn't Much Appreciate All Of Yesterday's Attention
You saw the unfortunate University of Hartford student-run TV station's America East basketball report yesterday, right? If not, please do....

Sheriff: Sweaty, Shirtless Man With Gun Stopped Near Scene Of Alleged Meriweather Shooting
The Orange County Sheriff's Office just dropped an info packet on our inbox. Some interesting tidbits in here. For one: Apopka police stopped a Dodge Stratus with four people inside a few blocks away from the shooting. In the car, the cops found a loaded Smith & Wesson hand gun "wrapped in a sweaty ...

Boom Goes The Student Sportscast: America East Report Is Uncomfortable, Hilarious
There is a lot going on in this America East basketball report from the University of Hartford's student-run TV station — so much, even, that tipster Christopher declares it "the next boom goes the dynamite." There's no instant catchphrase in this 30-minute segment (we've cut it down to the real h...

Drug Rumors Morph Arkansas QB Ryan Mallett Into The Next Ryan Leaf
At the Indianapolis scouting combines, the press asked NFL aspirant Ryan Mallett about the "heavy rumors of drug use and [if] possible addiction kept him from coming out for the 2010 draft." Those "heavy rumors" stem from an article by Tony Softli, a former NFL executive in Carolina and St. Louis, ...

What ESPN Won't Let Player X Say: Prenups, Popping Asses, And Watching Your Wife Get Pounded
ESPN The Magazine runs a regular feature called Player X, in which a current athlete writes anonymously on a pressing issue affecting his sport. A couple of issues ago, the mystery NBA player tackled the topic of infidelity among pro athletes. What ran in the magazine was polished, snappy...and unen...

Padres OF Complains About Panda Express; Too Bad Team Owner Runs The Chain
On Tuesday, Cameron Maybin, the speedy outfielder traded from the Marlins to the Padres this offseason, tweeted this (@CamMaybin; it's since been scrubbed):...

Don Mattingly Will Stop At Nothing To Find A World Series Ring
Your morning roundup for Feb. 16, a day after a guy from Texas retired from riding bicycles while wearing tights. Again....

Here's Video Of Manhattan's Game-Winning Buzzer Beater Over Marist
While you were watching St. John's drag Duke's ass all over MSG, the Manhattan Jaspers beat the Marist Red Foxes by one in Poughkeepsie. On a more-than-halfcourt shot. At the buzzer. Here's the boxscore. (H/T Iracane)...

A Tribute To Sexist Old Andy Gray
After a long, hard night staring into the bottom of a whiskey glass, listening to Blood on the Tracks and wondering how it all came to this, The Spoiler reached an epiphany at around four o'clock this morning…...

The Massively Sexist Analogy Brits Use To Explain Offsides To Women
Soccer offsides is hard to grasp, for Americans raised on a hard-and-fast line demarcating what's legal. But it's presumably not difficult for a professional referee, regardless of gender, despite the boorish comments that got two British broadcasters in trouble....

Caroline Wozniacki Is Happy To See You
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NFLPA's Labor Strategy Involves Liberal Use Of Twitter Hashtags
Today, all current and former NFL players received an email from NFLPA President Kevin Mawae, planning a day of solidarity on social networking sites tomorrow. @drMLKjr would be proud....

Michigan Man Brady Hoke Will Coach Michigan Men At Michigan, According To Michigan
Michigan Man Brady "Michigan Man" Hoke is a Michiganly Michigan Man who Michigan Manned at Michigan for Michigan years. "Michigan Men are Michiganed to announce the Michiganing of Michigan Man," said Michigan's director of Michletics. Michigan Michigan Schembechler Michigan? Man. [MGoBlue, ESPN]...

The Eyes Of Peyton Manning Pool With Sorrow
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Newest Favre Allegations Get The Taiwanese Animation Treatment
Some great visuals in this one, including a literal slab of meat, the "Most Vilified Pervert" Award, and, yes, gunslinger orgasm....