no Page 1005 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Knicks Didn't Think Kevin Durant Was Worth The Max

As if the universe required more proof of the sorry state of the organization’s existence, the New York Knicks have struck out on major free agency targets in a spectacular way. After claiming he knew of big-name free agents that wanted to play for the Knicks, and that the team would have a “very su...

Celtics Bring In More Normal All-Star Guard

Minutes after Kyrie Irving shipped himself off to Brooklyn to try and get the Nets to interested in channeling the cosmos, the Celtics have gone ahead and signed a more-than-suitable replacement for this upcoming season: Kemba Walker....

A Living, Breathing Roundup Of All The NBA's Less-Exciting Free Agency Signings [Update]

Not every name that NBA insiders tweet about this evening and beyond will be worth an entire blog post to overanalyze the value of their decision and the competitive ramifications of that move. For that very reason, we’ll put all the non-superstar signings down below and update this post as more and...

Kevin Durant Is Joining The Nets And DeAndre Jordan Will Be There Too

The Brooklyn Nets might have just launched themselves to the top of the Eastern Conference thanks to two very powerful Woj bombs....

Report: The Nets Will At Least Sign Kyrie Irving [Update]

After a lot of speculation and strongly worded hinting from insiders, Marc Stein of the New York Times tweeted out on Sunday, two hours before the official start of NBA free agency, that Kyrie Irving will formally commit to being a member of the Brooklyn Nets. Additionally, the franchise is preparin...

Man's Life Peaks After Getting The Ball From DJ LeMahieu’s Ground-Rule Double

Given the grey on this baseball attendee’s beard, it’s safe to assume that he’s got a fair bit of experience living life. Yet, none of those moments could have possibly prepared him for the joy that holding the ball from DJ LeMahieu’s ground-rule double would give him on Sunday....

British Broadcasters Are Getting The Hang Of Things

Recently Promoted Spanish Soccer Club Renamed As Flat Earth FC

After earning promotion to the Spanish fourth flight division, the club formerly known as Mostoles Balompie got a complete rebrand from president Javi Poves and was renamed Flat Earth FC. Poves confirmed in a video statement that the change was intended to support one of the dumbest fringe beliefs:...

Cubs' Pedro Strop On Yasiel Puig: "It's Not A Secret He's Stupid. He's Stupid As Fuck."

In the bottom of eighth with a 3-0 count against Yasiel Puig, Cubs pitcher Pedro Strop plunked the Reds outfielder with a 94 mph pitch. Puig was none too happy about the HBP, and began to slowly make his way towards the pitcher, which led to both benches clearing before any real punches were thrown....

White Sox Include Emmett Till On List Of Celebrities From Chicago

During a break in action at the White Sox-Twins game on Saturday, a graphic appeared on the park’s big screen with the intention of informing the crowd of some famous individuals that were born in Chicago. It included people like Wheel of Fortune host Pat Sajak, legendary actor/director/drunkard Ors...

Mets Include Two Still-Living Former Players In Memorial Slideshow For 1969 Reunion [Update]

In an attempt to make some older fans briefly forget the seemingly endless downward spiral the organization has been on since the Wilpons took over, the Mets decided to hold a ceremony celebrating the 1969 team that won the World Series. As one might expect with a group celebrating a 50th anniversar...

God Man, Fuck You Bret Stephens

In case you were busy actually enjoying your weekend, Jordan Peterson celebrity cruise attendant Bret Stephens went ahead and ruined everyone else’s by scribbling out a bunch of racist bumper sticker slogans in the New York Times. And this time, ol’ Bret did so without the veneer of preciousness tha...

Deadspin Up All Night: Shrimps Are Pretty Rich

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Has anyone seen my left shoe?...

Aging Fraud Luis Suárez Misses Only Penalty In Shootout Against Peru, Ends Uruguay's Copa América Campaign

The trade-off in having Luis Suárez on a team has always been for every person he bites, black player he racially abuses, or referee he headbutts, he’ll score at least a couple dozen goals to make up for all of that shithousery. But it appears that as he’s reached his 30s, the playing abilities that...

Report: Dutch Couple Claims Wesley Sneijder Drunkenly Danced And Urinated On Their Car

An 35-year-old bald man was arrested last Sunday after he drunkenly danced, hopped and urinated on a car in Utrecht. Initial reports speculated that it was former UEFA Champions League winner Wesley Sneijder in video clips and grainy photos of the incident, but now the elderly couple that owns the c...

Adorable Baseball Fans Just Want Both Teams To Have Fun

About a million different things that happened in the 12-run first inning of the Yankees-Red Sox game in London, but one of the more remarkable moments that went unnoticed happened because of an Andrew Benintendi foul ball. ...

Sweden Snaps 24-Year Losing Streak Against Germany With 2-1 Victory

Sweden entered their quarterfinal match up with Germany sick and tired of hearing about this damn losing streak that has plagued their national team for nearly two-and-a-half decades, but it’s hard to ignore something like that given the history between the two sides. Since 1995, Germany had defeate...

James Harden Pulled Over While Traveling

James Harden is currently in China doing one of those promotional tours where he visits some cultural landmarks, shoots some hoops at an outdoor half-court to a crowd of fans, and does various other silly things all while donning apparel of the company that sponsors him. But during his tour, photos ...

Angel Hernandez Gets The Overseas Ovation He Deserves

The Netherlands Huffed And Puffed Until They Blew Italy’s Defense Down

Just because the Netherlands narrowly survived their round of 16 match against Japan thanks to a late penalty didn’t mean that they were out of the woods yet with the tough obstacles ahead of them in the knockout stage of the Women’s World Cup. In fact, on paper their Saturday match up with Italy se...