no Page 1042 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bryce Harper Mashed A Tater Over The Damn Batter's Eye
Bryce Harper’s been having a rough go of it lately. He’s been a semi-regular subject of the Philadelphia faithful’s boo birds, and is hitting a less-than-impressive .222/.363/.430 slash line. He’s also striking out a shit ton. Yet, there’s still a reason why Philadelphia decided to give him a $330 ...

Lyon Trounce Barcelona To Win Fourth Consecutive Women's Champions League Title
Lyon cruised through the Women’s Champions League final and defeated Barcelona 4-1 to win the club’s fourth consecutive UCL title. After scoring four goals in 30 minutes—which included a 17-minute hat-trick from Ada Hegerberg—Lyon were able to sit back, relax and enjoy the remaining hour of game tim...

Lamar Odom Says He Used "A Giant, Rubber, Black Cock" To Pass His Drug Test For The 2004 Olympics
Lamar Odom was in a bit of a pickle in 2004. He had accomplished a lifelong dream in getting named to the Team USA Olympic basketball roster set to go to Athens that summer. All he had to do to officially join the team was pass a drug test a few days after he got the call. The problem was that he’d ...

Report: The Jets Are Hoping To Get Peyton Manning As Their New GM
Adam Gase’s promotion to interim general manager of the Jets might becoming to an end soon. The Jets seem to have realized that handing such an important position to someone just because they were more aggressive in a power struggle might not have been too smart, so they’re on the lookout for a perm...

Ryan Pressly Seals MLB Record For Scoreless Appearances With Athletic Diving Throw
Over his last 39 consecutive appearances on the mound, Houston reliever Ryan Pressly’s ERA has been an utterly absurd 0.00. It’s a streak that started back in Aug. 15, 2018 against the Rockies (eat shit, Ley), and officially reached MLB-record heights on Friday against the Boston Red Sox. The scorel...

Report: Former Oregon Receiver Brought Down Gunman At A Portland High School
Former Oregon receiver Keanon Lowe was able to tackle an armed student to the ground before anyone got hurt at a Portland-area high school on Friday, according to multiple reports....

Deadspin Up All Night: There Will Be No Shame
Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin. Later....

Alex Rodriguez And His Lawyers Very Much Don't Want Anyone To See A Photo Of Him On The Toilet
There’s a photo of ESPN baseball analyst and former New York Yankees pariah Alex Rodriguez using a bathroom for its intended purpose. The picture was snapped from the building adjacent to A-Rod as he sat on the toilet, but there’s nothing explicit about it. The only notable details are that there’s ...

Happy Trails To Lazar Marković, A Hero To Underachievers Everywhere
Lazar Marković is not a good soccer player. It would even be fair to describe him as an actively bad one, at least relative to the level expected of players at the clubs that have paid him a sizable salary to do anything but play soccer for them these past few years. And yet, until today, Marković h...

Tyreke Evans Kicked Out Of NBA For Drug Policy Violation
This afternoon, the NBA announced that Pacers guard and former rookie of the year Tyreke Evans has been “dismissed and disqualified from the league for violating the terms of the NBA/NBPA Anti-Drug Program.” The league said he will be eligible to apply for reinstatement in two years....

Introducing The Steph Curry Seth Curry Power Rankings
Two games into the Western Conference Finals, it’s time to unveil the Steph Curry Seth Curry Power Rankings. The Warriors beat the Blazers 114-111 on Thursday night, and both Currys played hard. Seth stole the ball from his big brother four times and added 16 points. Steph had 37-8-8. ...

Santi Cazorla Completes His Resurrection By Earning A Spanish National Team Spot
The last time Santi Cazorla played for the Spanish national team, Donald Trump wasn’t President, Vine still existed, and Real Madrid only had one Champions League this decade. The date was November 14, 2015, and Cazorla had scored against England in a 2-0 friendly win. The wheels almost literally fe...

A Look Back At Kegasus, The Bizarre And Boozy Preakness Mascot
Nobody gives a damn about the 2019 Preakness Stakes....

Poor Sage Northcutt Gets Knocked Out 30 Seconds Into Minor League MMA Debut
Sage Northcutt—a composite of every person who appeared in Point Break—resurfaced in Singapore today, six months after he was unceremoniously released by the UFC while riding a three-fight winning streak. Northcutt had been aggressively promoted and marketed by the promotion, but it elected not to s...

Tony La Russa Says Farewell To His Dear Friend Grumpy Cat
Grumpy Cat, the cat that went viral for looking grumpy, has died at the age of seven. The apparent cause of death was a urinary tract infection. We now turn our attention to former baseball manager Tony La Russa to see how he’s handling the news:...

Minor League Baseball Announcer Calls His Own Sweet Catch: "I Am Very Proud Of Myself!"
In a minor league game between the Somerset Patriots and the High Point Rockers Wednesday night, a foul ball was spun back into the crowd, in the direction of the open window of Patriots broadcaster Marc Schwartz. Schwartz, who appears to be very good at his job while possessing the reflexes of a ca...

The NFL Concussion Settlement Just Keeps Getting Worse And Worse
In what plaintiffs’ attorneys view as a total disaster, the federal judge overseeing the NFL concussion settlement on Thursday denied a motion to reconsider rules changes for physicians she had approved last month. Those changes, as noted earlier, stand to make it even more difficult for players to ...

Let's Remember Some Guys: Topps Apparently Made <i>American Gladiators</i> Cards
Of the, let’s say, three jokes that I make during the pre-credit portions of Let’s Remember Some Guys episodes, the one that I like best involves hinting that the episodes are filmed either in my actual home or in the shared pastel dormitory in which all Deadspin employees live and blog. It’s not a ...

Idiot Portsmouth Fan Arrested For Hitting Sunderland Player Who Fell Into The Stands
In the lower levels of English soccer, fans often are nasty, brutish, and short-tempered. We saw evidence of this in March when an idiot stormed the field mid-game to sucker-punch a player, and we saw even more yesterday, when a Portsmouth fan punched and kicked Sunderland’s Luke O’Nien after the pl...