no Page 4872 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Screw You And Your Iowa Shirt
It's my anniversary today, and when you've been married eight years and have small children, you are free to do away with all the bells and whistles an anniversary is supposed to entail....
Little Kid Definitely Does Not Want To Be Put In The Auburn Store
This tyke has an SEC-Speed meltdown at the mall after a seemingly empty threat. Laugh now, until it comes out that "The Auburn Store" is code for some kind of sex dungeon. [via Gossip Sports]...
David Beckham And Gordon Ramsey "Caught In Gunfight"
Sweary TV chef Gordon Ramsay has revealed he and bessie mate David Beckham had to cut short a recent bonding/camping trip to the outskirts of LA after waking up to a rousing chorus of *pew pew pew*...
Checking Back In With The Spirited Phillies Fan
When last we left Sarah Donaldson, she was singlehandedly costing the Phillies the World Series and completely failing to understand how YouTube works. Well, she's looking to get back into the performing biz. Maybe we can help!...
This Is Supposedly Braylon Edwards' Mugshot
Photo: Sent to us by a reader who had a "Buddy in the NYPD."...
Skeevy University of Florida Professor Fired For Inappropriate Ines Sainz Reference
"The University of Florida has fired a professor for saying during a lesson about sexual harassment that Latin American women dress more provocatively than U.S. women." Read more about Professor Taylor — he appears to have some lady issues. [Gainesville Sun]...
God Gave Mark Dantonio A Heart Attack For Beating Notre Dame, Says Soon-To-Be-Suspended Radio Guy
We said it's time to let the MSU/ND game go. Matt Patrick, of a South Bend talk radio station, should probably have read us before he insinuated that God struck Dantonio down for cheating against the Catholics....
Last Night's Winner: Matt Diaz, Corner Outfield Vigilante
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like visiting players at Citizens Bank Park, who, since the Taser incident, are apparently the last line of defense against fans on the field....
Won't Someone Think Of The Gay-Panicky Columnist's Children?
For a master class in how to write a breathtakingly stupid sports column from the Cokie Roberts school of "How will we tell the children about blowjobs?" argumentum ad moppet, please read FanHouse's David Whitley, hemming and hawing about gays on the Kiss Cam....
Wealthy Jets Receiver Braylon Edwards Gets Pinched For DWI In City With Most Cabs Ever
After being stopped by police for driving erratically and blowing twice the legal limit, chinbeard enthusiast Braylon Edwards was charged with DWI Tuesday. The Jets, who have a car service for partying players, were astonished someone actually drove in Manhattan. [Daily News]...
After Enough Time Had Passed, Cousin Itt Finally Forgave Them For Imploding The Vet
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
This Photo Of Jason Whitlock Is Begging To Have A Hamburger Photoshopped Into It
Congratulations to our nemesis Jason Whitlock for the big NYT's write-up on his controversial sports journalism and how it's propelled him to media fame and a fortune big enough to own a house in Los Angeles and one in Kansas City....
One Cross-Country Gal's Surname Must Be A Nightmare For Headline Writers
There's a high school cross country runner named Madz Negro who keeps making news due to her running prowess. This results in headlines from the Springfield, Ill. State Journal-Register like this. Or like this....
So, The FBI Stopped A Suspected Terrorist From Blowing Up Wrigley Field And Environs
A Lebanese man was arrested early Sunday and has been charged with one count each of attempted use of a weapon of mass destruction and attempted use of an explosive device after allegedly trying to blow up Wrigley Field. Typical Cardinals fan....
"ITS 2 AM, SO I WILL END WITH DISGUST FOR YOUR AWFUL BEHAVIOR," And Other Emails About The U.S. Open
Well, our little rant about the festival of ineptitude that was the television coverage of the U.S. Open men's final seemed to touch a nerve....
OU Mascot Not Actually OU Student
Rufus Bobcat, who tried to tackle Brutus Buckeye, isn't even an OU student, and tried out for the mascot gig just for the chance to assault Brutus....
Do You Believe In Owning A Sad, Bedridden Ex-Hockey Player's Cherished Keepsake? Yes!
A gold medal that once belonged to Mark Wells, the last player selected for the 1980 "Miracle on Ice" hockey team, now laid low by a genetic disease of the spinal cord, is going up for auction. [Puck Daddy]...
This Should Have Been The NFL's Concussion Poster
Our friends at 12 Angry Mascots have announced a winner in their contest to redesign the NFL's concussion awareness poster. This is the best; honorable mentions inside....
The Guy Who Bought That Georgia Player's Jersey Is Innocent, Or Something
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the guy who bought A.J. Green's jersey....
Notes On "Campdick": A Former NFLer On Ines Sainz And Locker-Room Sexual Tension
A babe reporter walks into a locker room. Catcalls ensue; jock straps fly; penises shrivel. She doesn't understand the words, but she understands the sexual tension. It's palpable when an attractive woman appears. Palpable. Players call it campdick....