no Page 4889 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

At-Bat Music Is Ripe For A Prank
Adam LaRoche made sure the PA system played "It's Raining Men" the first two times Kelly Johnson stepped to the plate. This will feature prominently in season ticket sales pitches, since it's more fun than any actual baseball in Arizona....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Nightmare Ant
After a two-year hiatus from our Hall of Fame nominating rolls, Nightmare Ant has returned. But really, Nightmare Ant will never really go away. Hell, Christopher Nolan just made a movie about him....

FAVRE GIVES FAVREXCLUSIVE FAVREVIEW, SAYS FAVRESOLUTELY FAVRETHING
His eyes have been a little dry lately, and he's probably going to get them checked out. Other than that, he's cool. The end. [FavreHouse]...

Nothing's More Metal Than A Nice Pinot Grigio
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Remembering Those Halcyon Days Of The U.S. Open When Tennis Players Could Freely Call An Umpire An "Abortion," Twice
"You are an abortion," Jimmy Connors says to a U.S. Open umpire in the video above, along about the 3:30 mark. "You are an abortion, do you know that?" The umpire nods gravely, almost as if to say, hmm, yes, it's possible....

Underwear-Clad Man In Brutal Wiffle Bat Beatdown
Donald Fehr (not that one) "was severely beaten with a plastic Wiffle bat when he refused to put on clothes." I mean, that's the risk you run. [AP]...

Here Are Some Photos Of Marcus Jordan's $35,000 Night In Las Vegas
As you probably know, Marcus Jordan, spawn of Michael, spent an absurd amount of money last weekend at a Las Vegas nightclub. Some guy's ex-girlfriend was there, and he gave us a few pictures....

Have Rewards Points From Your Favorite Team's Credit Card? Not No More You Don't
The NFL is phasing out their relationship with Bank of America, meaning any points you've earned in the ubiquitous "Extra Points" program expire in, oh, seven hours. Darn! So close to that Roethlisberger coozy. [NFL Extra Points]...

Thierry Henry And KISS Combine To Form The Most Bizarre Ticket Promotion Of The Month
Put "Strutter" on repeat and head to Dallas because for $40 you can see FC Dallas play New York and then come back two days later for KISS! One of the target audiences here probably feels insulted. [Press Coverage, pic too]...

The Nittany Lion Has A Drinking Problem
Penn State's mascot (okay, the guy in the suit if you want to get technical) was charged with public drunkenness after passing out in the bed of a pickup truck. That beats the DUI the mascot landed two years ago....

Introducing Your Temporary Funbag Replacement: The Boring Bag
Drew's on vacation, but it's Tuesday and we need a mailbag. So instead of a Funbag, how about a Boring Bag? Today's topics: sidewalks, yawn-inducing numbers, a fish that is fast, and so much more....

Redesign The NFL's Terrible Concussion Poster And Win Some Money
It was a noble gesture to put up this poster in NFL locker rooms, but look at it: It's boring, it's wordy, and players will never pay attention. If you can do better, there's a cash prize in it for you....

Oh Look, More Trouble For Joe Mazzulla
The fun loving West Virginia senior (see here, here and here) was cited in Morgantown for public urination. I thought that was a standard part of back-to-school orientation. [AP]...

TRANSFER FUCKING DEADLINE
Sigh. Right, you know the drill. Expect desolate shots of training ground gates, some unlucky chump standing in the pissing rain bringing you literally no news, and congregations of unemployed celebrating transfer coups....

Sportswriter Fired For Being A Homer Takes Job With Favorite Team
Remember Pete Pelegrin, the Miami Herald's FIU beat writer (and "FIU evangelist," in the words of a coworker) who publicly and spectacularly quit the paper because they were giving Miami more coverage? He's now working for FIU. Synergy!...

Mike Wise, Twitter, And The Art Of Breaking News
This morning Wise announced his monthlong suspension from the Washington Post for his fake Twitter "scoop" that was intended to sucker other outlets into publishing it. In the end, his failing wasn't underestimating the media, but rather misunderstanding the medium....

Another Icelandic Goal Celebration, This Time With Toilet Humor
Our love for Stjarnan FC is well-documented, but we think their new "three-man toilet" routine is their best yet. We should also point out that they're just 10 points clear of relegation, so maybe work more on set pieces than celebrations....

Early Winner For Deserved Maiming Of The Year Award
A high school student is suing his teacher and the city after he nearly electrocuted himself after hooking his nipples up to electrical clamps in shop class. Also, D batteries are not butt plugs. [AP]...

Last Night's Winner: Mira Sorvino's Reputation
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Mira Sorvino's reputation. Though she might be less—oh, let's say—inhibited than others, she definitely did not sleep with Matthew Berry's friend. So says Matthew Berry....

Cut Loose: A Montage Of Movie Dancing
Sure this video starts off as a montage of people opening and closing doors, but by the time it's over, you've seen one of the better tributes to cinematic two-stepping. Enjoy. [Kottke, via Skeets]...