no Page 4924 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Arizona Lady Emigrates Illegally From Shirt
Maybe Arizona is the lawless hellhole Jan Brewer's made it out to be, after all. Between the Nazis on the borders and the streets becoming sets for an ill-advised No Country For Old Men sequel, the citizens of Arizona now have to worry about the unpatrolled border of this lady's cleavage....
Young Ladies, Who May Or May Not Have Penises, Enjoy Cricket
A troupe of traveling Thai Ladyboys have given cricket a go on their visit to Manchester. They learned that athletic tape wasn't intended for taping your junk between your legs, but it does the trick. [Metro] (H/T Tom K. Again.)...
Best News Lede Ever? Best News Lede Ever.
"A German court on Tuesday threw out the case of a schoolteacher against a pupil who allegedly tormented her by scrawling pictures of rabbits on the blackboard to aggravate her rabbit phobia." [The Local] (H/T Tom K.)...
Ah, The Ol' Lacrosse Hidden Ball Trick
It might not have the Iroquois, but the World Lacrosse Championship does have the sneaky Japanese...What do you mean, 'racial stereotype?' It's the hidden ball trick! That's sneaky!...
Jeff Gordon's Ex-Wife Being Sued For Naming Her Son After Him
James Dixon, the father of Brooke Gordon's 1-year-old, has taken her to court, demanding child support and that he have Dixon's last name instead of "Gordon." Dixon should be happy: without Jeff Gordon, Brooke wouldn't have any money to give. [Scene Daily]...
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Jeremy Lin
Today's Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape-e: Harvard man and future D-Leaguer, Jeremy Lin cut to the Teshian rhythms and St. Louisan rhymes of Nelly's "Heart of A Champion." ...
Accused Rapist Now Tied With Serial Philanderer As America's Favorite Athlete
The full list, per Harris Interactive: 1.) Acquitted Accused rapist, serial philanderer; 3.) Overrated tax cheat; 4.) Former junkie; 5.) Choker; 6.) Cocksucker; 7.) Corporate tool; 8.) Pretty boy; 9.) Drew Brees; 10.) Some guy driving a car. [Harris Interactive]...
America's Dumbest Student-Athlete: Tremaine Billie, Clemson University
Mr. Billie AKA "T.Billie" has received multiple nominations thanks to the unfortunate "e-portfolio" he created when he was a student. It's a masterpiece....
Hipsters Are Wearing Your Old NBA Jerseys
This gallery of Pitchfork Festival denizens provides definitive proof that hipsters are now wearing old NBA jerseys at an even more obnoxious rate than previously imagined. But you probably haven't heard of these players, they're pretty obscure. [The Faster Times]...
Reggie Bush Has Heisman Taken Away From Him Even Though He Didn't Kill His Wife And A Waiter
I've been looking for a way to shamelessly steal that Norm Macdonald joke for years now. Thanks USC! [USA Today]...
You Will Never Guess Which <em>First Take</em> Talking Head's Bicep This Is
I know, I guessed Dana Jacobson too, but wrong. Give up? Holy shit, it's Skip Bayless!...
Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...
Area Man Hits Two Holes In One
His name is Rich Schultz (yellow polo, large grin, Jersey tan), but please don't call him "Two Holes" because that's somewhat suggestive. Odds of him hitting two holes in one during a single round? 26,045,834 to 1. [Allentown Morning Call]...
It's Your Last Chance To See Lou Piniella Gesticulate Wildly On The Field
Lou Piniella will retire following this season, adding yet another name to the ignoble list of those the Cubs have irrevocably broken. [Chicago Breaking Sports]...
Time To Talk Wife Swapping
I ate a steak last night with béarnaise sauce, and I'm now of the age where doing something like that has definitive and brutal consequences. Oh yes. I'm talking about meat sweats. You know the kind. You wake up at 4AM sweating beefy juices. Your heart feels like a fucking 90-ton weight. You feel li...
WE ARE UNDER ATTACK BY DEVILS
Hence, the prolonged wheel-spinning you may be experiencing. From Gawker Quality Assurance: "It appears that we are under attack again, and are seeing major problems as a result." Just be patient or FUCKING PRAY QUIETLY BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR EYES BLEED....
John Kruk Thinks Prince Fielder Isn't Too Fat
Teams should pay Fielder millions of dollars and not worry about his weight, says a man who was paid millions of dollars and refused to drop pounds. He then proceeded to pick his teeth with one of Mickey Morandini's de-fleshed ribs. [ESPN.com]...
Australian Cricket Player Stripped Of "Father Of The Year" Crown
The state of Victoria has rescinded Australian cricket legend Dean Jones's 2007 Father of the Year award after details of a nine-year affair with an "air hostess" surfaced. What sort of details, you say? Why a lovechild of course....
Last Night's Winner: Whatever's Left Of Sportswriting's Conscience
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Dave Kindred, who the other day threw some heat at Mitch Albom's bean and gave us moderate hope that the sportswriting establishment isn't completely out to lunch....
5 Reasons Toney/Couture Won't Settle The Boxing/MMA Debate
Next month at UFC 118, boxer James Toney will take on mixed martial artist Randy Couture, in a bout some are saying will decide which sport is tops. It will decide no such thing....