no Page 4982 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Man Saves Beached Whale While Golfing, Avoids Obvious <i>Seinfeld</i> Quotes (UPDATE)
A golfer at Lighthouse Sound Golf Course in Maryland briefly interrupted his round to jump into the ocean and save a whale that was stranded. Unfortunately, that's a two-stroke penalty. (Sad update: The whale didn't survive.) [Independent Press]...

Cavs-Celtics: Your NBA Playoff Open Thread
Watch LeBron James disappoint every single sportswriter in the universe again. Or watch him take one step closer to earning their forgiveness. [Yahoo!]...

Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians: Will Leitch Edition
The floppy-haired hero from the hardscrabble streets of Mattoon, Ill. received a king's welcome at Busch Stadium and got the old pre-game treatment from the local Fox affiliate.For some reason he chose to wear Annie Leibovitz's eyeglasses....

Aww, Some Football Writers Apparently Want A PED Hysteria Of Their Own
"Memo to 18 AP voters who let Brian Cushing keep his award, despite clear PED use: you should be drug-tested yourselves," Sports Illustrated's Austin Murphy tweeted yesterday. "What a f'ing joke." Sigh....

Free Nohjay Nimpson!
We're down to the Elite Eight in the always-excellent Name Of The Year tournament. So go cast your vote to ensure that Nohjay Nimpson and God's Power Offor continue on. [NOTY]...

News Anchor Asks, "So She's Enjoying Penis A Little Bit More?"
At the end of a segment on a "the G-shot", ABC 26 anchor Michael Hill asked reporter Catherine Shreves a question that made it quite apparent he has no idea how banter works. Video after the jump....

Vegas Train War! Another L.A.-To-Vegas Train Will Get Gamblers There Slower, But Drunker
Alissa Walker over at Fast Company brings us news today of an intriguing development in train travel and degeneracy. Click through to read....

Plenty Of Good Jets Seats Still Available
The Jets, for all their quarterback poise, for all their "Hard Knocks" star power, for all their shutdown secondary, are in real danger of local TV blackouts this season. Are they a victim of their own success?...

TV People Confuse World Cup Host Country With Similarly Named Landmass
A reader sends this screengrab, from which we can deduce that either 1.) the poor kid doing the chyrons mixed up his large, Southern Hemispheric tracts of land or 2.) South Africa just won a war that no one knew about....

Bernie Carbo Tried To Have Keith Hernandez's Arms Broken
Carbo says he tried to pay "some people" $2000 to assault Hernandez, after he had implicated Carbo in his testimony in the Pittsburgh drug trials. Carbo says he's since forgiven him, so sleep easy, Keith. [Outside The Lines]...

Is The Best Buy Geek Squad Stealing Your Donkey Porn?
No time to waste. My hand hurts a lot from talking with my kid while using a cow puppet yesterday. I used the puppet for, like, an hour. Now I have carpal tunnel. Lamest injury ever? Lamest injury ever. Fucking cow puppet. Right to the letters:...

Join Us For A Live Chat With Doug Glanville Tomorrow At 2pm EDT
The baseball player who was smarter than you is now an author who is smarter than you. Glanville will be here tomorrow to discuss his new book, "The Game From Where I Stand," as well as other germane topics....

Chelsea And Man City Use Mind Games To Tempt Torres
There will, of course, be much speculation over the summer as to where Fernando Torres might end up, and at the moment, the choices seem to be forking out in four directions....

World Cup Email Scam Promises The Most Awesome Party Ever
A forwarded email promises a South Africa private beach party with champagne and lobster, lions and elephants, and a DJ spinning house tunes who also carries a gun in case the wild beasts get out of hand. Holy shit, please be real....

Last Night's Winner: Bob Bradley's Blamelessness
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Bob Bradley's exclusion of Charlie Davies from the World Cup roster, which, thanks to Davies's overly cautious Ligue 1 side, isn't Bradley's fault....

Bengie Molina's Outrage At ESPN Is Slowly Rounding Third
Molina has declared himself unamused by the SportsCenter clip you see here, in which the Giants catcher is lightly mocked for running from second to home like the QE2 steaming into port. This from a guy whose Wikipedia entry calls him slow....

Eric Byrnes Was Released Into His Natural Habitat
Byrnes has slipped nicely into the cleanup spot for his beer league softball team, going 2-for-3 with two home runs in his second game last night. And unlike his last gig in Seattle, napping during games is encouraged. [PRO Rumors]...

Texas Fan Celebrates His New Souvenir With A Double-Barreled Salute
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Headlines That Get Funnier After Midnight: "Tiger Penis Found At Auckland Airport"
Not a surprise, really ... but how does that explain the neck problem? [Stuff.co.nz]...

Man Gets Hit By Car, Doesn't Drop Baby In His Arms
This incredible video shows Australian Andrew Leitch getting his legs crushed by a runaway car, but somehow holding on to his four-month son, who was completely unharmed. A few NFL teams could use a pair of hands like that. [CBS6/DailyIQ]...