no Page 5006 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Join Us Thursday For A Live Chat With Sam Lipsyte, Author Of <em>The Ask</em>
We'll have an excerpt Thursday from the great Sam Lipsyte's new novel, which is very funny and which I encourage you to read immediately. Sam will be by around 3 p.m. to say filthy things to you and discuss aggressively marketed nachos....

Video Catches Cops Brutally Beating Maryland Student After Duke Game
After a Maryland student was seriously injured during the melee that followed the Terps big win over Duke last month, cops claimed he had attacked mounted policemen and was kicked by their horses. This videotape says they're dirty liars....

Jumping Out Of A Plane Trumps Lesbian Hooker Dildo Shows
I went to a skydiving center this past weekend. I jumped and was a complete pussy all the way down (that's me staring wistfully back at the plane). The full story will be in Penthouse magazine sometime this summer. I never knew how much skydiving cost, so I asked the lady the normal fee for jumping ...

LA Angels Witness NYC Suicide Jumper: "Weaver Actually Saw Him Splat"
That quote is from Angels' pitcher Matt Palmer, as he described how he and starter Jared Weaver were crossing the street when a 39-year-old man jumped off 42nd floor of Le Parker Meridien in Midtown this morning. [NYDN]...

Slurring Jerry Jones Bad-Mouths Bill Parcells, Tim Tebow
A source sends along this video of a seemingly inebriated Jerry Jones waxing off about Tim Tebow ("he'd never get on the field"), Bill Parcells ("not worth a shit"), and how he got his stadium. Read the rough transcript after the jump....

Lawyer Claims He Knows Of Yet Another Ben Roethlisberger Accusation
A Boston attorney claimed on WEEI sports radio today that he knows of another case involving Ben Roethlisberger, a Las Vegas night club, and "identical" allegations to the ones he was just cleared of in Georgia. So this isn't over?...

Fameballs, Footballs on Commenter's Fusion Site
This week's random Deadspin starred commenter/My Fusion Site enthusiast is Peter Cavan, who has made some excellent choices. Check them out below, then create your very own Gawkmodo or Jalopspin or Kotako9!...

The Hedo Turkoglu Google-Commercial Parody Is Here To Creep You Out
This "parody" of those Google Search Story commercials is weird, to say the least, and bordering on bat-shit insane, to say more. While Turkoglu's been a bit of a disappointment this year, it's no reason to eat him. [YouTube]...

To Sit Or Not To Sit: Do Players Owe Fans Anything?
It's that time of year again: The time when NBA teams, secure in their playoff destiny, start phoning in their remaining regular season games. But are these millionaires really just robbing you, John Q. Slob, of your hard-earned minimum wages?...

Phil Mickelson: Your New, Women-Friendly, Morally Pristine Sportswriter Unicorn
Once, not so long ago, a famous golfer was unfaithful to the public image that sportswriters had helped construct for him, and the sportswriters were sad. But then along came Phil Mickelson, and the sportswriters turned him into a Lifetime movie....

This Is Why You Don't Bring Wayward Dogs Into Minor League Ballparks
Last week, the Northwest Arkansas Naturals held an "Iams Adopt-a-Pet" promotion night and one excited pooch took that opportunity to crap all over the Royals Double-A affiliate. [YouTube]...

Phil Mickelson Enjoys A Donut Unlike Any Other
The morning after his Masters triumph, Phil Mickelson reportedly hit up a Krispy Kreme drive-through in Augusta—this one's for the family!—while wearing his green jacket. Yeah, those stains aren't coming out. [Via Clay Travis/Devil Ball Golf]...

Last Night's Winner: Steeler Pride
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the good of people of Pittsburgh, who don't stand for miscreants, rabble rousers, or hippies. Plus, their heroes very rarely get charged with crimes....

Hits This Year? Jay Bruce Can Count 'Em On Two Middle Fingers
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

NHL Jerseys Are The Hottest New Trend In Liberia
The National Post has an excellent story on used hockey jerseys becoming an unlikely fad in Liberia. Well, I say "unlikely," but I would have expected it there before in Phoenix....

Rays Fans Demand Less Cowbell
The big debate in the Tampa Bay area: could the cowbell fad, still going strong at Rays games, actually be keeping fans away? Or could it be a horrible stadium, stingy management, and lovely weather? Nah, cowbells. [St. Pete Times]...

Add Providence To The Institutional Control Watchlist
Two Friars players were arrested early today for assaulting a fellow student. Why? Oh, the usual reasons. They were looking for someone to beat up, and he was the first person they came across....

Has Anyone Seen Bill Murray?
The Cubs had to pull a random family out of the stands to toss out the first pitch, after Bill Murray was a no-show. I'll tell you where he wasn't: filming Ghostbusters 3. Get on it, Bill! [Daily Herald]...

Urban Meyer's Still A Dick To The Media, Even At The Masters
For a guy who's very publicly expressed his distaste for reporters and their high-and-mighty "reporting," Meyer sure didn't have a problem bumping some of them from the press area at Amen Corner yesterday....

Detestable School, Loathsome Sneaker Company Produce Most Insufferable Ad Ever
This ad appeared in Sports Illustrated. As it is not a four color ad or black & white, it cost somwhere between $229,300 and $352,800. At least, according to the SI rate card, pictured after the jump: ...