no Page 5029 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Here Are 10 Things To Expect After You Turn 30"
This Black Table article was published, shit, six years ago and I'm encouraged by the fact that it is still as painful now as it was on March 18, 2004. Getting older is not fun. Make it stop....

I Was There: Duke Vs. Kentucky, Philadelphia, 1992
Here's one of our first submission to #Iwasthere (here for explanation) courtesy of Brett Hoover, who was on press row at The Spectrum the night Christian Laettner ripped the heart out of Lexington....

Tiger's Porn Star Lady To Reveal Filthy Text Messages Today
We apologize again for giving this awful woman a platform. Joslyn James AKA Veronica Siwik-Daniels will begin her own March Madness and unleash sextingjoslynjames.com at 11 a.m. to prove to the world that Tiger used to bone her. [NYPOST]...

Bills Entice Potential Ticket Buyers With "Punt From Own End Zone" Shining Moment
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

WWE Bans Chairshots For McMahon's Senate Run
The oldest pro wrestling trope in the book, nailing an opponent with a folding chair, could be no more in the WWE. Why? Politics, as usual....

Irving To Milk One Last Cash Grab Out Of Texas Stadium
It'll cost fans and demolition aficionados (I call them demolitionados) $25 per vehicle to watch next month's implosion of Texas Stadium. The hole in the roof is so God can watch the implosion for free. That's the saying, right? [AP]...

Fan Beats Player With His Own Stick
As if Russia's Olympic showing wasn't enough, the KHL looks even more bush league after a playoff game was interrupted by a spectator attacking the visiting team....

Terps As Controversial In Congress As Health Care
The House debates, for far too long, a resolution congratulating Maryland "on an outstanding season." The vote was just as contentious, but at least spared us a Dick Vitale filibuster. [WaPo]...

How Cute, He Throws Just Like A Real Quarterback!
Tim Tebow revealed his new throwing motion today, only five weeks ahead of the draft. If you think that should throw up some red flags for GMs with a first-round pick, well, you don't know NFL GMs....

I Was There: March Madness Special
Throughout the tournament, we'd like you to help out with our #iwasthere page to discuss your March Madness related memories. Go on. Take a look. They're nice stories....

Seton Hall Fires Bobby Gonzalez, Leader Of Cock-Punchers And Alleged Burglars
Bobby Gonzalez was doomed the moment reporters got his former secretary to bag on him, but if there's a proper day to get canned, it's probably the day after your erstwhile charges engage in some nutpunching and (alleged) burgling....

Jim Lampley-Metallica Mashup The Logical Continuation Of Meme
DJ Raw B has mashed up Jim Lampley's stirring Pacquiao-Clottey commentary with Metallica's "Master of Puppets" for us all to enjoy. Thanks DJ Raw B. [ZShare]...

ESPN's Syracuse Problem
First, we have President Obama going with someplace called "Sycasuse" in his ESPN bracket under the watchful eye of best friend Andy Katz and then we have "Syracsue" getting the #1 seed in the West. Adjust your brackets accordingly....

Mike Bibby Doesn't Appreciate Your Gentle Hands, Josh Smith
Mike Bibby and Josh Smith got into ... something during a recent timeout. Listen to science, Bibby! Your season may depend on it! [Ball Don't Lie, soundtrack provided by the Misfits]...

Ron Washington Tested Positive For Cocaine Last Year, Which, Let's Be Honest, Is Pretty Awesome
SI.com narc Jon Heyman reports that Ron Washington, the Rangers' 57-year-old manager and all-around swell guy, indulged in a popular but illicit recreational drug last year. "I did make a mistake," he tells SI.com, speaking very, very quickly. [SI.com]...

Searching For...The Random Asian Kid Of KU
We haven't had to call upon the Deadspin I-team for personal search and rescue missions in a while, but today's entry seems as worthy as any deadbeat Dominican baseball player or ample-bosomed fan. We'll let Pete Gaines have the floor:...

Let's Listen In As The Crazy People Talk About Obama's NCAA Bracket
"'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need.' If that is your mantra, why would you watch college basketball. ... Obama should only watch sports where they do not keep score. Socialists are hipocrits." [Free Republic]...

Crips And Bloods Shooting Baskets, Not Each Other (Temporarily) (UPDATE)
Kilpatrick, a juvenile detention center in Malibu, is making a run at a sectional hoops title, thanks to a theatrically plucky coach and an uneasy Bloods-Crips alliance. Where have I heard that one before?...

Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape, Part II
And now here's the video of Jackson State's Phillip Williams nutpunching Mississippi State's Dee Bost. By the time the NIT's over, we'll have a whole new section of sopranos for the pope's choir. ...

The Hater’s Guide To The NCAA Tournament
It's tourney time. Time to fill out a bracket based solely on eliminating which teams piss me off the most. Let's have a Deadcast! (Listen here, iTunes here.)...