no Page 5030 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chicago White Sox: Non-Performance Is No Indicator Of Future Results
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Chicago White Sox....

Last Night's Winner: Sports Shouters
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like sports shouters, whose soapboxes were raised an extra couple inches thanks to Tiger Woods' triumphantly selfish return to Augusta....

Crotch Punch Fulfills Every Crotch Punch's Destiny, Gets Immortalized On Videotape
Here's the video of Seton Hall's Herb Pope doing to Texas Tech's Darko Cohadarevic what a thousand youth baseball bats have done to two thousand youth-coach testicles. [YouTube, via TBL]...

Cockpunch Night In The NIT
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Barry Bonds Fan Club Getting A Little Jealous Of McGwire Acceptance
As baseball's prodigal son returns to the St. Louis bench, some in San Francisco are wondering why their own disgraced steroid user wouldn't be welcomed back with open arms....

Even NCAA Sanctions Are Harsher Than Final Four Scalping Laws
Scalpers won't be able to re-sell Final Four tickets outside Lucas Oil Stadium...unless they pay $20 for a license. Hey, Indianapolis has to do something to lure business back to town. [Indy Star]...

This Passes For Athlete Thuggery At A Northeast Private School
At Oregon, football players steal laptops from frat houses. At tiny (but expensive) Drew University, a lacrosse player is accused of stealing and re-selling priceless historical artifacts....

Never Mind: Pacquiao Concert Canceled
Sorry to have gotten your hopes up. But only 603 of the 8500 tickets available had been sold, so they're calling the whole thing off. [Honolulu Advertiser]...

No Glass Jaw For Pacquiao; Possibly A Tin Ear
The multi-platinum recording artist (and occasional boxer) will perform his first American concert in Hawaii this weekend, and will give away one of his championship belts to a lucky fan. The luckiest fans, however, won't be within earshot. [Honolulu Advertiser]...

Lane Kiffin Currently Beating Natalie Gulbis In Esquire's Sexiest Woman Alive Bracket
Yes. He holds a pretty substantial lead. She's upset: "So how is Lane Kiffin beating me in sexiest woman alive on Esquire.com? Really? This can not be good." You people are monsters. [NatalieGulbis]...

Mid-Major ISO Unattached Team For Casual Encounter, Possibly More
We'd like to think college basketball scheduling is a thoroughly considered, professional process among teams, conferences and the NCAA. But no. There's a message board where teams look for hook-ups. Let's explore the Craigslist of college hoops....

Beckham's Torn Achilles Moves British Poet Laureate To Write Dreadful Verse
"[T]his poem is written," Carol Ann Duffy announces, "to draw a parallel with Achilles, who gave his name to Beckham's injury." Uh-oh....

The 10 Most Magnificent Footballers/Pop Stars EVER!
It's sometimes easy to forget that footballers are also human beings. Frighteningly gifted human beings, who can turn their hand to pretty much anything. Some ooze seamlessly into management or punditry, others open shops or decide to do office jobs....

Whining Time: Reggie Miller, The Knicks, And The Prayer Of The Bitchy Girl
A review of ESPN's Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs. the New York Knicks, from a woman who once took a photo with John Starks and keeps it at her desk, and now co-workers think they're married....

Tom Izzo, Steve Mariucci: Young Lovers
These two handsome sonuvabitches knew they had something special: "Said Mariucci: "I swear to God, yes. People thought we were a little bit too close."[DetroitNews via Guyism]...

Play the Best Bracket this March
Play the SoBe Lifewater™ Zero Inhibitions Bracket Challenge and you could win up to $10,000,000. You could even win a chance to ball with former NBA point guard and current TNT basketball analyst, Kenny "The Jet" Smith....

Ghosts, Dessert Carts, And Cancer Porn
I've been losing weight recently, and one of the joys of losing weight is overemphasizing my own awe at my body's transformation. "Why are my pants so loose? Why am I not sweating in my sleep? I feel stronger. More agile. WHAT'S HAPPENING TO MY BODY?" I'm not saying I'm becoming Spiderman, but I wou...

DePaul Coach Search Reaches New Low
DePaul, basketball head coachless since January 11, has posted the opening on the university's careers website. Can you say, "Quentin Richardson is not walking through that door?" You're qualified. [Tremendous Upside Potential]...

Another, More Pissy, Theory About What Happened In A Milledgeville Bathroom With Ben Roethlisberger
I secretly hoped that the always entertaining, exclamatory MediaTakeOut would have something dopey to add to the sexual assault allegations against Big Ben and good googly moogly did they ever....

Do You Dream of Wearing a Fedora while Rocking a Pro Basketball Jersey?
Then you're a closeted hoopster. Won't you please head over to the Dream Visualizer to see your dream turned into a personalized animation that you can then share with all of your Facebook friends?...