no Page 5040 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

TRAPPED IN A CAGE! Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase five heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go. But first, an announcement....

And With That, Olympic Hockey Is Officially A Memory
Via "Wyshmaster" Wyshynski, excellent video of Sean Avery doing what Sean Avery does. Goading Max Talbot into a fight, then taunting him for his limp-wristed girly man slaps....

Slipping And Tripping In Warren Sapp's Hometown
You're familiar with Dark Side of the Locker Room. Consider this the THX Edition of Dark Side. Our storyteller is Padgett Powell, author of Edisto, The Interrogative Mood, and the following dispatch from Plymouth, Fla., which was spiked by ESPN....

Civic-Minded Wrestler Of The Week: Tiger Jeet Singh
There's a minor controversy brewing in Ontario, where trustees have voted to name a public school after longtime wrestler Tiger Jeet Singh. Why all the fuss? It's not like he attacked audience members with his sword that many times....

IF YOU GIVE A MOUSE A CHEEZ DOODLE
Just this once, the library is relaxing the rules against talking. And yelling. (By the way, if you were a kid, wouldn't this be the absolute worst field trip ever?) [Twitter]...

CFL Slowly Morphing Into XFL
Get rid of sudden death? We'll get rid of extra points. The CFL attempts to out-excitement the NFL yet again, this time considering making the the two-point conversion mandatory in overtime. But what about the rouge?! [TSN]...

Cincinnati Reds: The Looming Tower
Will Leitch will be previewing/musing on every baseball team each weekday until the start of the season. You can pre-order his book and follow him on Twitter. Today: The Cincinnati Reds....

Spring Training Win Way More Important Than Silly "World Series"
According to awesomely free Philly Metro, a ninth-inning rally by Wilson Valdez exacts "some measure of revenge" for the Yankees beating them at that whole "world championship" thing last fall. I guess one micron counts as "some measure."...

Last Night's Winner: Football Dorks
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like nerds who get excited about tender offers, no-trade clauses, and transaction wires. It may be the offseason, but not for restricted free agent hounds....

It's 6:30 AM, And Jake Delhomme Just Threw Another Interception
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tyson's Comeback Can't Ruin These Great Times For Boxing
People are going to point to the rumored Mike Tyson comeback, and laugh at the farce that boxing has become. Don't listen to them....

She's Like Danica, But Good
Venezuelan Milka Duno has signed on to run a full IndyCar season. Danica really has been a trailblazer. If Duno does well, maybe she can fail in NASCAR too! [Indy Star]...

Gyrocopter Decapitation Is One Way To Kick Off Hunting Season
Arguments have begun in the trial of an animal rights activist who decapitated a fox hunt supporter with his gyrocopter. I have never written a more metal sentence....

A Children's Treasury Of Mascots Eating People
Mascots are running wild at our sporting events, both home and abroad. Who will put a stop to the madness? And why won't the music coordinators at these arenas use Temple of the Dog in place of Weird Al?...

Sports Fella Doubles Down On The Stupid
Remember that foolish thing Bill Simmons said the other day about Tiger and Muhammad Ali? Well, Bill has taken a step back, read some old Sports Illustrateds, and decided to be foolish again, only at much greater length. [Charles Pierce]...

Wizards Tickets Less Valuable Than A Pot Of Coffee
The NBA has an exciting new promotion where fans can earn two free tickets to a Washington home game simply by drinking five cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee. Or save up for a sixth cup....and get another cup of coffee!...

Heroic Patriot Defends America's Honor Through Property Damage
A Minnesota man was arrested for throwing a bench through a restaurant window after the gold medal game on Sunday. There's not a jury in the country that would convict him....

Tim Lincecum Isn't Always High, He Just Seems That Way
Here's Lincecum modeling a Giants Snuggie, and pretending to be a wizard. Wonder if this violates his probation for that possession bust....

Clippers Fandom Now An Exercise In Spiritual Enlightenment
"For me, being a Los Angeles Clippers fan for over twenty years has taught me firsthand about the spiritual dimensions of faith and suffering, and has helped me better understand my own Hindu tradition." [Huffington Post]...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: "The Big Boss Man" Ray Traylor
Every week, the Masked Man, Deadspin's pro wrestling correspondent, honors the sport's fallen and examines their legacies — famous and obscure alike. Today: "The Big Boss Man" Ray Traylor, who died of a heart attack in 2004. He was 42....