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SHOTY Elite Eight: Chris Berman Vs. Baby Mangino
Welcome, everybody, to Elite Eight Week! If we had a cool corporate sponsor who flashed repetitive commercials in between every one of these posts, you'd be hearing that phrase a TON this week. Maybe we could have a late coach give an inspired speech between halves. Alas....

SHOTY Elite Eight: Roger Clemens Vs. Isiah Thomas
All right, all the votes have been tallied, and we have our final eight....

Last Day For First Round SHOTY Voting
OK, the Elite Eight of the 2008 Sportshuman Of The Year tournament begins tomorrow, so I figured it'd probably be wise to give everyone one last opportunity to vote before the polls close....

SHOTY First Round: Dana Jacobson Vs. Erin Andrews
It's the final first round matchup, and it's a fun one, methinks. Ah, if only these two pictures could somehow be combined. Anyway, this is the last time with a new matchup. So everybody vote. Yes, please, Facebook people too....

SHOTY First Round: Chris Cooley Vs. Caitlin Davis
Just two more first-round matchups until we reach the Elite Eight. We haven't had any truly close matchups yet, though it's early. Today, it's Hot Pants/ Naked Playbook Guy Vs. Hot Pants / Goofy Facebook Lady....

SHOTY First Round: Buzz Bissinger Vs. Mike Singletary
Fridays are always good days for mismatches. Most of you have probably skipped out to do holiday shopping anyway — do they still sell the Tickle Me Elmo? — so it makes voting anomalies less likely....

SHOTY First Round: Chris Berman Vs. Kevin Hart
It might seem odd to some of you that Chris Berman would have such a high seed this year. Wasn't his heyday around 2006, YWML time? Well, I would retort that you've had too much of the deux deux deux....

Michael Phelps' Funky Face Is SI's Sportsman of Year
In case you haven't heard, Olympic water boy Michael Phelps is SI's "Sportsman of the Year" this year, for his astounding 8 gold medals in Beijing. It's not a surprise pick, really, leaving most of the scrutiny for Phelps' spooky-ass Terri Schiavo face currently seen in the online version. According...

SHOTY First Round: Brett Favre Vs. Baby Mangino
All righty, kids, holidays are over, you have the next month of craziness to streak through — I never notice December has started until it's over — and it all begins now. Time to get serious, people. And nothing's more serious than SHOTY voting....

SHOTY First Round: Mark Cuban Vs. Matt Leinart
It's the day after Thanksgiving! If you have any good sense, you're lying on the floor right now, surrounded by pieces of bird skin, dealing with a nog-throbbing brain and complete with a homicide-scene outline traced with pie crust. Congratulations on getting to this point. You've earned it. Now, ...

SHOTY First Round: Roger Clemens Vs. Vince Young
It's the day before Thanksgiving, and it's difficult to imagine much that would be more enjoyable than voting in the 2008 Deadspin Sportshuman Of The Year tournament. Like you're doing any work today anyway. In fact, you're probably not even in the office right now. Are you reading this from the fu...

SHOTY First Round: Isiah Thomas Vs. Nightmare Ant
All right, everybody, it's time for the voting to begin. We'll be going Monday/Wednesday/Friday until the end of the year to get this rolling and prompt-like. But first off: Everybody salute the big pile of genius that is Jim Cooke for his official 2008 SHOTY poster. Bless his heart. Voting will re...

Time For 2008 SHOTY Nominations
The time has come, ladies and gentlefolk. (We're actually starting a little bit late.) The 2008 Sportshuman Of The Year awards are about to grace you with their presence, and, as always, we need your nominations over here. This is the third annual SHOTY tournament. The first winner died, and the se...

LA Times Sports Writer Chooses Not to Lop Off Penis; Paper is Thrilled
LA Times sports writer Mike Penner made national news last year when he wrote his "Old Mike, New Christine" column about his life as a transsexual and his decision to undergo surgery so he could become "Christine Daniels" for the rest of his journalism career. Well, just like a fickle woman, Mike ch...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while deciding between pliers and a wrench ... • MLB: Houston at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). Carlos Zambrano rocks the chin whiskers. [WGN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's fourth round and women's quarterfinals, at New York (7 p.m., ET). The only sport that features balls in a can. [USA] • M...

Dean Wormer NFL Unveils Fan Code Of Conduct
The NFL is rolling out a Fan Code of Conduct, and be advised that if you don't follow it to the letter, you'll be pummeled like a Tibetan monk at a Chinese police picnic. Among other things, "unruly" or "disruptive" behavior is forbidden. Also, "abusive language." They might as well sell the Jets ri...

Viral Sports Videos Are Getting Less And Less Believable
This video has been circulating for a couple of days, supposedly showing Redskins kicker Shaun Suisham booting a 110-yard field goal in practice. As Martin Prince would say: "Highly dubious!" (is then pummeled by bullies). Is it a real kick? Video trickery? Gus, the Field Goal-Kicking Mule? Brett Ha...

The Cardinals Just May Have Changed The Game As We Know It
Dilemma: How to lug a cooler full of refreshing beverages to the bullpen each day without injuring certain medial collateral ligaments? Solution: The motorized cooler. Credit Cardinals' reliever Jason Isringhausen — who had to keep busy somehow while on the 15-day DL — with this upgrade of a regular...

Roger Clemens: King Of The Blue Diamond
More and more embarrassing details about the career of pitcher Roger Clemens, as the New York Daily News today reports that the alleged 'roid user and serial philanderer also used something else to help keep him on the top of his game — Viagra....