not Page 34 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
MLB Won't Let Us Show You Video Of Justin Verlander's Amusing Balk, So Here's A Fucking Drawing I Did Instead
Justin Verlander had a weird little blooper against the A's on Saturday wherein he stepped off the rubber as if to throw to first but wound up going home anyway, nearly plunking David DeJesus in the process. It was funny. We'd show you the video, but if we did Major League Baseball would get its cri...
Reader Writes In About "Heinous," Camel-Toe-Laden Fishing Program; We Fix It
Matthew writes in, and we solve the problem....
NBA Selects Man Who Relocated The Sonics And Lied About It To Head Relocation Committee
It gets worse for Sacramento. David Stern has appointed Clay Bennett, second-most hated man of Seattle and 2008 Oklahoman of the Year, to lead its Relocation Committee. The deadline for the Kings decision has also been extended to May 2....
If You Throw An Octopus On The Ice in Detroit You Could Be Fined $500 And Ejected (UPDATE: Statements from Red Wings, Police)
Tommy B. got home from last night's Detroit/Phoenix game but despite a Game One victory, he was sad. Sad because he had a run-in with Johnny Law. This, because he threw an octopus on the ice....
Either Somebody Comes Up With $25K By Friday Or UConn's Championship Parade Is Off
It's one thing to win what ranks among the worst men's college basketball championship games ever. It's another thing altogether to have to ask the city of Hartford or the state of Connecticut to pony up some coin to have a parade to accompany "the scheduled celebration for the team at the state Ca...
Lil' Wayne Likely First Rapper Ever To Wear A Women's College Basketball Jersey In Public
Weezy's full-blown crush on Notre Dame guard Skylar Diggins swelled to a creepier degree last night, when he performed at Indiana University in a #4 Fighting Irish jersey. We're unable to confirm this, but we reckon that this just may be the first time in our nation's history that a rapper has donne...
College Kid Who Cried "Coach Attacked Me" Apparently Decided To Steal Two Beers From The Phillies
Your morning roundup for April 8, the day the Associated Press union decided to stick it to The Man, with whom it's negotiating a new contract, by not promoting stories on Facebook and Twitter next week. Consequences will never be the same....
Fulham's Michael Jackson Statue Is More Frightening Than The Balloon Creatures From "The Wiz"
Fans of EPL team Fulham knew this day was coming for a little while. But, were they prepared for what greeted them at Craven Cottage today?...
A Sad Cubs Fan Has Questions About Wrigley Field Rules Pertaining To Obese Cubs Fans
Tipster Andy from Waukesha, Wisc. has a question. Here it is: "I am watching the Cubs pregame and behind the hosts is a HUGE guy, I don't think I've ever seen someone that big let alone sitting in a stadium seat. How does this work? What about the people next to him? So many questions but this make...
How To Throw A Knuckleball, Starring Jim Bouton
This is the first of an occasional video series in which someone good at something doable teaches you how to do it. Today we have Jim Bouton, former major leaguer and author of the great Ball Four, demonstrating his old signature pitch, the knuckleball....
Your NCAA Tournament Sweet Sixteen Finishing Touches Open Thread
In the next few hours, all attendees will have RSVP'd for the Sweet Sixteen extravaganza. The final five match-ups are Arizona vs. Texas; VCU vs. Purdue; Marquette vs. Syracuse; Illinois vs. Kansas; and in the weekend's final game, Florida State vs. Notre Dame....
Man Named Dokken Assaults Gopher Mascot Named Goldy
Before the rush to judgment commences, can we all agree that there is zero need for a buck-toothed mascot to obstruct the view of a 60-year-old guy who just wants to spend his Saturday enjoying some men's gymnastics? Cool....
Chris Bosh's 1-for-18 Night Included A Flop For The Ages
Here's a better look at Chris Bosh's flop in the Heat's 93-89 loss to Chicago last night. Bosh was 1-for-18 from the floor, and he got hit on the nose, apparently with a sledgehammer....
Everything Right With Soccer, In Three Minutes Of Incredible Non-Dives
Technically, Barcelona and Argentina forward Lionel Messi dove a few times, in a literal sense, as he was hip-checked, tripped up and otherwise impeded by lesser talents. Problem is, Messi missed several opportunities to flail about to pad his stat sheet. He is the Best Soccer Player On Earth....
Jazz Trade Deron Williams: What The Hell Is Going On In Utah?
Al Iannazzone of the Bergen Record reports that the Utah Jazz have agreed to send two-time All-Star point guard Deron Williams to the New Jersey Nets in exchange for Devin Harris, Derrick Favors and two first-round draft picks. Wow....
You, Dim PR Person, Are Dumb And Should Be Fired, Part 6: Near-Tragedy Edition
PR people are dumb. Not all of them, just some of them. Like this thoughtful individual repping the 127 Hours DVD, who emailed Nick Denton with an idea for a tie-in that just screams Deadspin. Because they are dumb....
God Affected The Outcome Of A Co-Ed High-School Wrestling Match Yesterday
Your morning roundup for Feb. 18, the South's 9th annual remembrance day....
The Worst Men In Sports
Our friends at The Good Men Project have compiled a list of the top 10 good guys in sports. This is not that list....
Mets Excel At Ponzi Schemes, Nothing Else
So what if the New York Mets have finished fourth in the NL East in back-to-back seasons? So what if Oliver Perez and Luis Castillo are due a combined $19 million this year? The Mets are baseball's best at timing Ponzi schemes....
Yep, Mark Sanchez Really Used Mark Brunell Like A Snot Rag
S, N, O, T. Snot! Snot! Snot! Several of you have sent this in. American heroes, one and all. (But this one came from Royce.)...