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Dirk Nowitzki Is Probably The Only White NBA Player That Two-Thirds Of The Nation Can't Recognize By Name
Dirk Nowitzki is a former league MVP and ten-time All-Star, he's twenty-third amongst the NBA's all-time scoring leaders (third for active players, with 22,792 career points), and he has the waviest wave of any player in the pros. But his name is foreign and his incessant gape doesn't look very good...

A Photo Of Dirk Nowitzki Astride Mark Cuban, Both Men Enjoying Themselves Immensely
This photo was taken circa 2001 by Sports Illustrated, a year after Mark Cuban bought the Mavericks and began reaching for the brass ring. Those were happy days. Magnolia flowers impregnated the Texas air with sweet perfume. Children gamboled by the Trinity River. And these cowboys loved each other....

Why Yes, One Cleveland Writer Did Offer Up A Nazi Death-Camp Gas For Use As Dirk Nowitzki's Nickname
And it was Scott Raab (yesterday). Oh, don't get all "How dare you belittle millions of deaths for a joke the morally depraved community doesn't even so much as giggle at?" He apologized 13 hours later, while nobly driving page views to a story he wrote last year about retired U.S. autoworker/convi...

Dirk Nowitzki, Boring Assassin
While you watch this video of every single Dirk Nowitzki free throw from last night, chew on this: Is it possible that Dirk, long-hailed as an elite NBA player, might have been underrated and unappreciated these past 13 years? Is it possible that Dirk, in a final four showcasing Kevin Durant, Derr...

Everything You Wanted To Know About Porn, Weed, And Toilets In Afghanistan, Courtesy A Platoon Leader
That photo of an anonymous U.S. soldier standing in front of a whole shitload of weed was taken by a platoon leader in Afghanistan with the Gawker handle Lono. He emailed me recently to clarify a number of things about fighting overseas, namely the quality of local porn, the abundance of local weed,...

Robert "Tractor" Traylor, Greatest 300-Pound Dunker Of Our Time, Is Dead At 34
Robert "Tractor" Traylor, former high school All-American, University of Michigan star, and NBA player, was reportedly found dead in his apartment in Isla Verde, Puerto Rico today. His current team, Vaqueros de Bayamon, posted the news on their Facebook page and requested that the team's next game...

The Infuriating Consistency Of Dirk Nowitzki's Step-Back Jump Shot
If I were a real Lakers fan, which is a thing I've been told exists somewhere, and I had to watch the Dallas Mavericks handily beat my team at home twice in a week, then I would place an inordinate amount of rage in watching Dirk Nowitzki make shots like this one....

Swiss Hockey Champion Breaks Really Cheap-Looking Trophy
We know you all were watching the Davos-Kloten game two days ago to see who could capture the David Aebischer Memorial Lucite Cylinder, who would be Micheline Calmy-Rey's sporting equivalent equivalent atop National League A....

Rio Ferdinand Is Cyberbullying Piers Morgan And His Moobs, For Some Reason
Cyberbullying is not funny. And it's certainly not funny when the former captain of England and the host of one of America's most influential talk shows [Deadspin editor's note: No.] start having a go at each other on Twitter....

Your VCU/Kansas Halftime Update
Should VCU hold its 14-point-lead form in the second half and defeat the Kansas Jayhawks, this will be the second time since the tournament expanded to 64 (or more) teams that no No. 1 seeds made the Final Four. The first: 2006 (Florida was a third seed, UCLA a second, LSU a four and George Mason w...

It's A Laugh Riot When A Child Drives A Golf Ball Straight Into Commentator's Genitals
As he prepared to stand before some preteens at the Dallas-area J. Erik Jonsson Community School, CBS golf reporter (and former pro) David Feherty noted that "I still have my dignity."...

Pre-Mamba Kobe's High School Highlights, To The Tune Of "One Shining Moment"
Before Kobe Bryant was a five-time NBA champion with a shoe contract and a short film, he was just a regular high school kid who was documented by famous sports photographers on his way to class and who brought R&B stars to the prom. To remind us of that fact, someone from his alma mater, Lower Me...

Dirk Nowitzki Talks In-N-Out, The Shake Weight
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Dirk on which fast food burgers would be good at basketball....

Even Sixers Broadcaster Eric Snow Can't Stay Awake For An Entire Sixers Game
Eric Snow, Comcast SportsNet's color analyst for the Sixers, seemed to drift off in the middle of the Philadelphia-Houston game last night. 7th & Pattison recorded the moment for our scrutiny: with just a few minutes remaining in the second quarter, Snow seems to bail on his play-by-play man, Marc...

This Was The Day Snow Dong Evolved Into Snow Tits
Here's the subject line of an email sent by tipster Kadinsky of Milwaukee: "I see your snow dong..." The point comes into focus after the ellipsis: "and raise you a pair of snow tits. with sculpted bush." That's all you had to say, MF....

Zurich Soccer Fans Are Enthralled By Gene Simmons's Tongue
Your morning roundup for Feb. 10, the day we regretted the harm our actions have caused our family, our staff, and our constituents....

The Chicago Snow Dong Seemingly Inspired A National Art Contest
It didn't take very long after the Chicago snow-dong-on-car was posted for several like-minded nature sculptors to send visual evidence of competing artwork. They came from the east. They came from the southwest. And they came from the midwest. ...

A Lot Of Time Went Into Crafting This Snow Dong
Snow artist Machinski calls this piece "Fun With Snow." The setting is Chicago, after the winter storm. The car belongs to a "friend." And while the base bend looks awkward, pure craftsmanship went into manipulating the glans....

Meteorologist Loses His Shit Over Thundersnow
Jim Cantore of The Weather Channel has made a career out of standing and yelling in terrible inclement weather and getting totally amped about it, but nothing, really, could have prepared him for this Chicago thundersnow....

Quit Wasting Money On Rims
Turner Sports launched CharlesBarkley.com today. It's mildly entertaining as a whole, but it's much funnier to narrow it down to the Round Mound's best single lines. Today in Barkley wisdom: stop buying rims....