ns Page 1594 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Classic Man: "Always Invite A Few Sworn Enemies To Your Parties"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Earlier this week we addressed how to interact with the ladies; today, we’ll tackle dinner parties. ...
Man With "Who Dat" Forehead Tattoo Accused Of Grabbing Officers' Balls
An inmate at Orleans Parish Prison was charged with two counts of battery of a police officer, simple battery, and sexual battery when he allegedly grabbed two officers’ testicles in separate incidents Monday and Tuesday....
Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This?
Welcome back to Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This? a regular feature in which we ask readers to identify a baseball player based on a closely cropped image of his disgusting chin. So, whose chin is this? Use the image slider below to find out....
![Aldon Smith Arrested For DUI, Hit And Run, Vandalism [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1375357229582428263.jpg)
Aldon Smith Arrested For DUI, Hit And Run, Vandalism [Update]
San Francisco 49ers linebacker Aldon Smith was arrested by Santa Clara police last night. There isn’t an abundance of details right now, but it doesn’t sound good....
Colbert Brings Jon Stewart To Tears With Correspondents' Farewell
The first 25+ minutes of tonight’s final Daily Show with Jon Stewart featured the full gallery of correspondents during Stewart’s 16 years at the show’s helm, many of whom graduated from the program to become stars in their own right. But no star shone brighter than Stephen Colbert, whose celebratio...
Why Does This World-Famous Conservationist Keep Shooting Animals?
Last week, the Daily Mail ran a story about a financier who had given up big-game hunting for conservation....
The Uncomfortable Middle: Our 2015-16 Premier League Preview, Pt. 2
For the American sports fan, following soccer means a reorientation about what constitutes success. With the success of the top teams reinforced by Champions League appearances and an enhanced global profile, there is a virtuous cycle to being good that makes it even harder to break into the top. At...
Baseball Squirrel Just Thinks It Can Go Wherever It Wants
A dumb squirrel jumped onto the field in the eighth inning of today’s Royals-Tigers game, and acted like it owned the damn place. The stupid thing ran around as if people were there to watch it. Hey, here’s a newsflash: they weren’t....
Mets Pitcher Falls Off Curb, Re-Breaks Arm
The Mets’ recent hot streak has made them look like an honest-to-God playoff team, as they’ve taken over first place in the NL East. Some people are ready to believe that the team’s days of bumbling ineptitude are dwindling, but fear not! Even when the team is winning, #LolMets finds a way....
Mike Pettine Has Some Backhanded Praise For Josh McCown
Josh McCown will “likely” be the Browns’ Week 1 starter. Ideally, he’s a placeholder for a year or two to mentor Johnny Manziel, who could take over when the Browns are ready to challenge. But head coach Mike Pettine sounds bullish on McCown’s longer-term prospects, saying he combines the experience...
Adios, Sucker: A Conservative Bids A Mostly Fond Adieu To Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart’s last episode of The Daily Show is tonight, and everyone promises to miss him, even if, like me, they stopped watching him religiously years ago. It wasn’t too long after he made his mawkish 2004 plea to Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala to “stop hurting America”—and, as a result, became t...
ESPN Has Lice
Here is an internal memo that was recently sent to ESPN employees:...
Classic Man: "Do Not Make Animal Noises At Women"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. Yesterday, we addressed what to do if you’re on a flight and the pilot dies; today, a word of advice re: interacting with the ladies....
The Improbable Story Of Baseball's Wildest Comeback
It definitely ain’t over ‘til it’s over. The 116-win 2001 Seattle Mariners were one of the greatest teams, in any sport, to not win a championship. Led by Lou Piniella, the team was built for success: they boasted great pitching, an impeccable knack for getting on base (their .360 OBP was the highes...
Here Are The Emails That Helped Start Ballghazi
Like all great soap operas, it’s easy to lose track of where all the drama began. Here, thanks to the massive amount of paper filed by the NFL player’s union in federal court, is a piece of Ballghazi’s birth, first pointed out by the Boston Globe’s Ben Volin. It’s Jan. 17, 2015, and Indianapolis Col...
Classic Man: "What To Do If The Pilot Dies"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a new entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. This is our first example, on the matter of air travel. ...
Report: Arian Foster's Groin Injury Might Require Surgery
Arian Foster injured his groin at Monday night’s practice, and the fear is that the Texans running back might need surgery, according to ESPN’s Tania Ganguli:...
Kelby Tomlinson Gets His First MLB Hit, In Front Of His Wife
Kelby Tomlinson might not have prevented the Giants’ bullpen from blowing Monday night’s contest against the Braves, but the gangly 25-year-old rookie did his best with his only at-bat of the game....
Michael Jordan Victimized By Meme-Wielding Teen
While giving a speech to a gym full of kids at a youth camp, Michael Jordan encountered every 52-year-old man’s nightmare scenario: a teen with a deep understanding of internet memes....