ns Page 1620 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Nats Are Making A Mess Of Their Uniforms, My God
This season, the Nationals have taken up the rather messy celebratory anointing of players with chocolate syrup. The Washington Post put together a explainer that promises “a comprehensive look” at the origins and impact of the ritual dousing of ice cream toppings, as well as instructions for “how y...
Dana White Can't Stop Lying About UFC Fighters Being Domestic Abusers
When Dana White isn’t busy calling female reporters “fucking dumb bitches” or those reporters’ sources “fucking faggots,” the UFC president spends his time whitewashing his fighters’ domestic violence histories. There’s Thiago Silva, arrested on charges he put a gun in his wife’s mouth, threatened t...
Pittsburgh Man Wants Home Run Ball That Landed In His Boat
Pittsburgh television station WTAE tracked down the owner of the boat that Pedro Alvarez hit a home run into last night, and he wants the ball back. ...
Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This?
Welcome back to Whose Disgusting Baseball Chin Is This? a regular feature in which we ask readers to identify a baseball player based on a closely cropped image of his disgusting chin. So, whose chin is this? Use the image slider below to find out....
So, Did James Harden Win You Over?
If any James Harden fans are still looking for a way to convince James Harden haters that the Rockets’ shooting guard and MVP runner-up is in fact a legitimate superstar and not the NBA equivalent of a Mortal Kombat spammer, they need look no further than last night’s Game 1 against the Warriors....
Giancarlo Stanton Ruining Baseballs Almost Makes Up For Jeffrey Loria
Back in February, Sports Illustrated had a neat cover story on slugger Giancarlo Stanton, his injury last season, and the Miami Marlins’ new strategy of not fielding an embarrassing team. For a minute, the article really convinced the reader that owner Jeffrey Loria cared about his franchise. Stanto...
Steph Curry Has A Great Sports Baby
We like sports babies around here, because sports babies are cuter than regular babies. That’s a fact. So it is with great pleasure that we welcome Steph Curry’s daughter, Riley, into the ranks of the world’s great sports babies....
Zen Koans, As Brought To You By ESPN's Neil Everett
“It’s like the scarecrow in Oz, you get too close to the fire, eventually.. you’re going to get burned. Heh.”...
NBA Writer Wants To Yank His Crank To Wolves Owner's Wife
For the second straight NBA draft lottery, the sports media couldn’t keep its collective dick in its collective pants. Last year, Bucks owner Wes Edens had his 18-year-old daughter, Mallory, represent the team at the lottery, and sportswriters jizzed all over their computer screens. This year there ...
Pedro Alvarez Wallops Home Run Out Of PNC Park, Into Moored Boat
Both AT&T Park and PNC Park were built alongside large bodies of water. But whereas the San Francisco Bay is only about 370 feet from home plate at AT&T Park, the Allegheny River is 443 feet from home plate at PNC Park. Thus, in its 14-year history, there have only been two splash hits at PNC Park. ...
Nick, The Cubs Threw Out Your Grandma’s Personalized Brick
Nick, my man, we have some bad news. Remember when your sweet grandma bought a commemorative brick to be placed outside of Wrigley Field, one that would stand as a testament to her love for you and the Cubbies forever? Well, the Cubs just made a sucker out of your sweet grandma, because they threw t...
A Perfect Picnic Beer For Fruit Realists
The Fruits of the Field are the very finest family of solid foodstuff, preferable even to the glorious Meats, Cheeses, and Processed Grains, and eons better than the mere Vegetables, Candies, and Gelatins. This is because fruits are generally attractive (even the meatiest among us will admit that a ...
Report: Titans Gave Scalper Tickets, Wrote Them Off As Military Donation
NFL sellout streaks are practically meaningless except to show fans’ interest when lobbying for a stadium financing, and to avoid blackouts. According to a report from NewsChannel 5 in Nashville, the Titans had a deal with a ticket broker to keep their streak alive and stay on TV....
ESPN's New Hire Says Global-Warming Fears Are "Intellectually Dishonest"
ESPN is a sports media conglomerate that largely, intentionally operates under the conceit that sports exist within a vacuum, untouched by the outside world except for instances in which the outside world intrudes on the sports universe. It’s a fallacious conceit, but it has some unintended positive...
The World Is A Hurtful Goddamn Mess: A Message To The Class Of 2015
Oh, God. Grad season. THE WORST. Yes, it’s that time of year when colleges around the nation pay $50,000+ a pop for some celebrity or politician or (God help the children) author to come in and spray hot knowledge all over the senior class before the kids can finally stand in line for a diploma and ...
Who Needs Hitting When You've Got Corey Kluber And Chris Sale?
Chris Sale and Corey Kluber pitched against each other last night, and they each turned in performances that lived up to the Best Pitching Matchup of The Week billing that games featuring two great starters always get but often fail to live up to. In fact, Kluber vs. Sale represented everything that...
Kyrie Irving Has One Father, And It's Not LeBron James
Today’s adventure in hilarious interview exchanges comes via whoever asked Kyrie Irving what sort of “parental role” LeBron James plays with him (starting at the 1:04 mark). ...
Linesman Takes Massive Hit, Has To Leave Hockey Game
A Steven Stamkos hit on Kevin Klein led to NHL linesman Brad Kovachik being knocked out of tonight’s Lightning-Rangers game in the second period. Backup linesman Greg Devorski took over for Kovachik. We don’t have word yet on Kovachik’s condition....
Lightning Score Rare 3-On-5 Shorthanded Goal
Hockey fans watching tonight’s Eastern Conference Final Game 2 got a very rare treat: a three-on-five double shorthanded goal by Tampa Bay’s Tyler Johnson, whose breakaway score came only after video replay overturned the on-ice “no goal” call....