ns Page 1654 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Keith Olbermann Dropkicks NCAA And Penn State Through Five Glass Doors
The NCAA announced today that it will restore Joe Paterno's 111 wins to Penn State's football program, putting Paterno back in first as Division I college football's winningest coach. Keith Olbermann celebrated the news by naming the NCAA and Penn State the worst in the sports world....
Fox Business Delivers Stupidest Super Bowl Report Possible
Fox Business Network attempted to report on Super Bowl ticket sales today with threats that "the NFL is expecting record-low attendance." That's not true, but somehow what reporter Elizabeth MacDonald went on to say got even stupider....
NCAA Screws Bobby Bowden Out Of All-Time Wins Record
Former Penn State head coach Joe Paterno just became Division I college football's all-time wins leader, thanks to a late-game victory over the NCAA. Congrats to Joe!...
ESPN's Dave Pasch Outs Self As Creationist After Receiving Darwin Book
We've noted previously that college basketball games called by Dave Pasch and Bill Walton on ESPN can get especially weird, but we never imagined that it would be Pasch who would lead viewers to ask themselves, "Did he really just say that?" ...
Lou Merloni Resists Attacking Protestors Who Say Black Lives Matter
Former Red Sox infielder and current WEEI yakker Lou Merloni is perhaps best known in Boston for being from Framingham and for being Nomar's friend. But in addition to those two distinctions, he did also manage to utility-guy his way through 423 games over the course of nine seasons in the Big Leagu...
Dumb People Are Mad At Cardale Jones, For Some Reason
Ohio State quarterback Cardale Jones had a lo-fi press conference in a high school gymnasium today to announce that he is returning to school. To normal people, this was fine. To certain members of the media, this was an outrage....
Bill Simmons Had Lena Dunham Back On His Podcast, And They Said Things
For the third time now, thought leader Lena Dunham joined multiplatform presence Bill Simmons on his podcast yesterday. It was a typically awkward and at times baffling example of audience cross-pollination between two people with little in common besides their love of their own voices. Dunham has...
Quiz: Which Member Of Migos Are You?
You'd be hard pressed to find a rap group buzzing louder than Migos, the Atlanta trio that quickly rose to prominence in 2013 when Drake remixed their infectious mixtape cut "Versace" and transformed them from underground sensations into web icons. They've since ascended to greatness within Atla...
This Is No Way To Act In A Buffalo Wild Wings, Ohio State Fan
From The Big Lead comes this video of a very loud and presumably very drunk Ohio State fan basking in the glory of his team's national championship victory, all in the service of education his fellow Buffalo Wild Wings patrons....
El Crap: Scariest Pictures Ever
Never have I been so happy that my job entails sitting on my rump and sending pitches. Above, that's Kevin Jorgeson at his office, sending pitches. See the difference? ...
<i>Price Is Right</i> Announcer Tries To Run Backward On Treadmill, Eats It
George Gray has been The Price Is Right's subpar replacement for the irreplaceable Rod Roddy for four years now, and this is not his best moment. To his credit, Gray finished his spiel without a hitch; he's still no anthem singer. ...
Damian Lillard Gets Fed Up On Twitter Like The Rest Of Us
This one guy thought he was going to own Damian Lillard with a sick burn of a tweet:...
Harrison Barnes Forces Revision To The Definition Of A Shabazz Assist
Last week I introduced the Shabazz Assist, a revolutionary new statistic that properly credits a player for missing dunks that "ricochet perfectly to an open teammate in the corner." But like any forefront in advanced analytics, the Shabazz Assist remains a work in progress, and in hindsight its p...
Mark Jackson Returned To Oracle Arena And Threw Shade: An Explainer
The Golden State Warriors took on the discombobulated, LeBron James-less Cleveland Cavaliers last Friday and beat them soundly. Even more interesting than the game on the floor was what was happening on press row, where ESPN's Mark Jackson was working his first Warriors game since being fired as t...
How Jack Johnson's Parents Screwed Him And Left Him Millions In Debt
Jack Johnson's financial troubles came to light in November, when the Columbus Dispatch revealed that the Blue Jackets defenseman had filed for bankruptcy after his parents—who had been in control of his money since 2008—created eight figures' worth of debt for him. But it wasn't just poor managem...
The Golden State Warriors Are Having The Most Fun
One of my favorite things that happens in the NBA is when a talented team reaches a point where every guy, from the stars to the benchwarmers, begins to understand just how damn good they have it. The Golden State Warriors, currently sporting a 30-5 record, are squarely in that zone....
Kurt Busch's Testimony: My Ex-Girlfriend Is A Trained Assassin
Back in November, Kurt Busch's ex-girlfriend Patricia Driscoll accused him of smashing her head into a motorhome wall three times, and filed for a protection order. The first two days of a hearing regarding the order were held in Kent County (Del.) Family Court in December. According to ESPN, Drisco...
Zdeno Chara Drops Cedric Paquette With One Punch
I went to go look up Cedric Paquette's height and weight, figuring a "Cedric Paquette is tiny. Zdeno Chara is 6'9", 255 pounds. The result when they fought was predictable." lede would be pretty good. Except I learned from Hockey Reference that Cedric Paquette is actually 6'1", 198 pounds: Zdeno C...