ns Page 1724 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's What Getting Traded Looks Like
Indians middle infielder Asdrubal Cabrera was traded to the Washington Nationals today. Shortly after the trade was made official, Chronicle Telegram reporter Brian Dulik snapped this picture of Cabrera going all Sad Keanu on us in the hallway outside the Indians locker room....

Jim Bowden Caught Stealing From Fake Twitter Account, Deletes Everything
Jim Bowden, former MLB executive, has fashioned himself a second career as a baseball pundit for ESPN and SiriusXM radio. Today, baseball's biggest day for movement, trade deadline day, Bowden appears to have gotten caught stealing a scoop without attribution. We know because he unwittingly stole it...

Does The NFL Think Ray Rice's Wife Deserved It?
A week ago, we got news that the NFL had suspended Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice two games for the events of Feb. 15, when he allegedly knocked then-fiancée Janay Palmer unconscious in an Atlantic City casino elevator. The punishment fell well outside the usual disciplinary regime of commis...

How Corey Kluber Started Kicking So Much Ass
Cleveland Indians starter Corey Kluber shredded the Seattle Mariners last night, shutting them out over nine innings and striking out eight, and taking just 85 pitches to do it. It wasn't an aberration, either: Kluber has been spectacular all year, which is hard to believe considering that he was a ...

Jaguars Owner Shad Khan Is One Chill-Ass Dude
Here is Jacksonville Jaguars owner Shad Khan gracing the cover of Void, a North Florida culture and lifestyle publication, while looking like the chillest old dude to have ever chilled. ...

Home Run Explodes In Woman's Beer Cup
At least three people tried to catch this home run—although "tried" might be a stretch for the guy in orange—and it eluded all of them. With all the hands in front of her face, this poor woman made no attempt whatsoever to catch the ball, and probably assumed at least one of the dudes around her w...

Dumb Person Has Bad Idea For How To "Control" College Athletes
This, by Matt Hayes at the Sporting News, was actually published yesterday, but since I haven't seen any angry reaction to it yet, I can only assume it's because we're all still so taken aback by the strangeness of a screed that wouldn't be out of place scrawled on a bathroom wall in feces. But you ...

Coconut Water Not All That Good For You, Also Lousy And Gross
Many people like to drink coconut water. Some like to drink it because they believe it contains miraculous health-chemicals. Others like to drink it because they believe it tastes good. Both of these groups are incorrect....

The Best Fake Soccer In The World Is Played Right Here In The USA
BERKELEY, CA. - The flashing electronic bulletin board on College Avenue read “SOCCER EVENT.” Berkeley Police closed off main roads a mile out from California Memorial Stadium an hour before Real Madrid was to play Inter Milan in a fake soccer game as part of the International Champions Cup, a fake ...

Too Much Is Just Enough: <em>Guardians of the Galaxy</em>, Reviewed
1. The best thing about the Marvel movies, to my eyes, is how self-aware they are without ever getting too winking about it. Captain America and Thor are excellent at this, playing off their leads' lunkheaded, uber-wholesome charm, but 2012's The Avengers—still the best Marvel film, and one of the...

Arian Foster Gave The Same Answer 11 Times In A 90-Second Interview
Arian Foster formally talked to media today for the first time since last season ended, but he didn't give them anything useful. The Texans running back basically repeated the same answer, about trying to be the best teammate he can be, for a minute and a half before peacing out. Though some Texans ...

New, "Grassroots" Pro-Redskins Website Is Run By A PR Firm, Of Course
Redskinsfacts.com, which just launched this month, doesn't hide its position on the team's controversial name. It features a revisionist history of the word and the team's appropriation of it, interviews with former players and Native Americans who support its usage, and invites fans to lend their...

The Twins Have Apparently Found The Real-Life Sidd Finch
One of the weirdest baseball stories of the year is about Brandon Poulson, a 24-year-old pitching prospect whom the Twins just plucked from the void for the price of $250,000. Nobody's ever heard of Poulson until now, but if the early stories about him are to be believed, he's basically the non-ho...

There Is No Explanation For Blowing This Call
This was a trapped ball. It was pretty clear, and indisputably so on replay. Yet umpires upheld their initial ruling of a catch, even after Ron Gardenhire's challenge. My headline up there isn't some huffy hyperbole on just how baffling the call was—it's about how umpires literally didn't give an ...

Why Ultrarunning Is The Funniest Sport In The World
You know all that crap about learning more from losses than victories? From times when the train went off the rails rather than smartly pulling into the station? Whether that has a shred of validity or not, disasters make for great reading, so instead of talking with the medal-chested smiling win...

Vin Scully To Return For A 66th Year, Gets Standing Ovation
This is cool. The Dodgers announced Vin Scully was returning in 2015 for a 66th year in the Los Angeles broadcast booth. They showed a pre-taped skit during the game tonight, featuring Hyun-Jin Ryu, Yasiel Puig, and Justin Turner making the announcement. After the video played, the feed turned b...

Marshawn Lynch's Mom: "REPORTERS DON'T THINK, THEY GUESS"
Marshawn Lynch's mom, Sunshine, did not take kindly to Terry Blount's suggestion that the Seahawks could win without her son and responded with an all-caps rant that included "I GUESS THATS WHY HE HATES REPORTERS." ...

Urban Meyer Is Still Insane For Tim Tebow And Won't Shut Up
Urban Meyer is delusional. The synapses in his brain are slowly failing to fire in the proper manner. Or maybe the aliens finally came for him. Those are the only explanations we can possibly give for why Meyer appears to be the last person on Earth who still thinks Tebow can make it in the NFL. Eve...

The Ravens Are Trying To Make Us Like Ray Rice Again
For various obvious reasons, the Ravens would be wise to highlight basically any player other than Ray Rice right now. Focusing on C.J. Mosley, Torrey Smith, or even Joe Flacco would be a good idea. The team site, however, is not pursuing this strategy....

<em>Remember The Titans</em> Is A Lie, And This Man Still Wants You To Know It
Not long after the release of Remember the Titans, the uplifting 2000 blockbuster about the integration of the T.C. Williams High School football team, former coach Herman Boone ceased to be the Titan his players all remembered. Instead, in public appearances, he began to play the role of Herman B...