ns Page 1894 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Wrigley Field: Home Of The Pantomimed Blowjob
Remember this jackass? He made his way onto TV in a late-night, nothing game in Chicago and made blowjob gestures for a whole inning. He had at least two competitors during today's Diamondbacks-Cubs action today at Wrigley Field....

Matt Cooke's Dirty Hit Last Night Got A Fan Kicked Out Of His Band
In yesterday's NHL Eastern Conference finals game between the Boston Bruins and Pittsburgh Penguins, the Bruins crushed the Pens in Pittsburgh, 3-0, to take a 1-0 series lead. The biggest uproar from the night, however, may have come following a vicious, illegal hit early in the second period. ...

A Treadmill Is The Vestibule Of Hell: Recovering Fatass Soundtrack
This week was the kind of week that tests even the most capital-R of Runners' dedication to not being a total waste-of-life fatass: it rained a lot and when it wasn't raining it was hotter than Mrs. Reilly tongue-bathing some shrimp vindaloo. Here's a Spotify playlist that assisted in braving the el...

Roy Hibbert Had A Bizarre Post-Game Press Conference
In one press conference Roy Hibbert dropped a "no homo" and called reporters "motherfuckers."...

Lisa De Vanna's Bicycle Kick Goal Yesterday Was Insane
This goal happened yesterday in an NWSL match between New Jersey's Sky Blue FC and the Boston Breakers. A Sky Blue player picked her way through the left side of the box, but found herself surrounded by defenders. So she cut back and looped in a prayer to 28-year-old forward Lisa De Vanna. The ball ...

Husky Invades NCAA Tournament Game, Is Cutest Idiot On The Field Ever
Cal State-Fullerton's NCAA tournament game against Arizona State featured an on-field delay of the cutest sort, when a rogue husky rushed the diamond at Goodwin Field....

Birdman's Suspended Tonight Against The Pacers, And That Is Bullshit
After Thursday's dustup between Heat forward Chris "Birdman" Andersen and the elder Hansbrough formerly known as Psycho T, the league allowed Birdman to finish out the rest of the game. Yesterday night, the NBA announced they're suspending Birdman without pay for the sixth game of the series. That i...

Don't Mess With Texas
If you've never read it, this is a treat: Gary Cartwright's classic 1968 piece for Haper's: "Confessions of a Washed-Up Sportswriter." Here we have a first-hand account of Bud Shrake, Dan Jenkins, Blackie Sherrod and the legendary Forth Worth Press in the Fifties:...


Flummoxed, Pacers Reportedly Consult Shaman About Extending Series
But according to South Florida's Sun-Sentinel, he wasn't much help....

Does Jaden Smith, <i>After Earth's</i> Uncompelling Star, Really Want This?
When film critics talk about a star's performance, they usually resort to clichés. The actor always "lights up the screen" or "disappears into a role," and watch out, because "you can't take your eyes off him." The reason why writers (and audiences) recycle those old saws is because they're standar...

Map: Do You Live In IHOP America Or Waffle House America?
America might be a fast-food nation, but at least it's a rich, greasy tapestry of fast food. In-N-Out Burger is the jewel of the West Coast. Massachusetts seems to breed Dunkin' Donuts franchises the way it used to breed Kennedys. Oklahoma and Wyoming are the only states to have both Hardee's and Ca...

Check Out Jaromir Jagr At 18, When He First Got To Pittsburgh
In 1990, Jaromir Jagr arrived as a Penguins rookie from the former Czechoslovakia looking every bit like the dude from that one A-ha video. With the 41-year-old Bruins winger back in town for the Eastern Conference finals beginning tomorrow, the Pittsburgh-Post Gazette's photo Tumblr performs a publ...

Help! My Couch Is Humiliating!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Email her....

Nate Silver Tackles The Canadian Stanley Cup Drought
In nine days, we will celebrate(?) the 20th anniversary of Montreal's '93 championship, the last time a Canadian team hoisted the Stanley Cup. Today in the Times, Nate Silver takes a stab at the most jingoistically painful futility in professional sports....

The Marlins Are Responsible For 40 Percent Of MLB's Attendance Drop
Today's Tom Verducci column in Sports Illustrated contains a very sad bit of information about everyone's favorite laughingstock of a franchise: the Miami Marlins....

Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <em>Super Why!</em>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Image by Jim Cooke....

Pirates Broadcaster On The Pirates' Hot Streak: "This Is Kinky!"
The Pittsburgh Pirates, you guys! They've been spanking their fans for years, but now they've won 19 games in May. They haven't lost a series since May 5. Last night they won 1-0 for the fourth time in 11 games. And cuddly color man Steve Blass is just tickled by it all....

Casting True Yankees Fans: Wall Street Guys, The Working Man, Hipsters
A tipster who has access to these sorts of things passed along a casting call today for an AT&T commercial saluting the fine career of Mariano Rivera. (Mo, if you're reading, we apologize for spoiling the surprise.) The memo explains exactly who is a true Yankee fan, by central casting's lights. The...