ns Page 1912 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Marlins Tickets Are Basically Free, And Still No One's Going
You've got a second-year stadium and the worst attendance in the league. You've got the worst team in baseball. If you're the Marlins, how do you possibly make money? The answer, it seems, is to give away free tickets and hope people buy lots of beers....
The Brilliant, Crazy Sorority Girl Emailer Has Left Delta Gamma
You will recall the heady days of a week ago, when we first published an email from a Delta Gamma at the University of Maryland. "I don't give a fuck if you SOR me, I WILL FUCKING ASSAULT YOU"? Ring a bell?...
The Hawks-Pacers Series Is Boring, But These Dunks Are Not
Don't give a shit about who wins the first-round playoff series between the Hawks and Pacers? Don't worry, neither does anyone else. But you should give a shit about what Roy Hibbert and Gerald Green did last night. Each threw down a dunk that was more than worthy of the playoff stage....
This Is The Natural Evolution Of The Horseface
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
JaVale McGee Is A Big Fan Of Brazilian Girls
I really have nothing to say about this Twitter conversation that JaVale McGee just had, but it amuses me. I hope it amuses you, too....
Michael Bay's Ode To Meatheads: <em>Pain & Gain</em>, Reviewed.
There are many movies that could have been made from the raw materials of Pain & Gain, which is based on a series of outrageous Miami New Times articles about three dimwit Florida bodybuilders who in 1994 kidnapped a rich local businessman and stripped him of all his assets. Some filmmakers, for exa...
Bayern Demolish Barcelona In A Changing Of The Guard
In the first leg of last night's Champions League semifinal, the world witnessed a coup that was anything but graceful. For Barcelona, it was painful, tragic, vaguely horrifying. It was violent. After five years of undisputed domination, Barça were not allowed to simply fade away, to retire back to ...
So, Where Can You Get Your NFL Draft Spoilers This Year?
One consequence of the NFL's ever-swelling influence over American sports fans has been the transformation of the NFL draft from a curiosity that was fun to watch on a lazy April weekend into a three-day spectacle that occupies primetime programming spots on ESPN and the NFL Network. But the draft's...
Here's A Penguin Sitting In Rays Manager Joe Maddon's Chair
Shut up, don't ask questions. It doesn't matter why the Rays had a penguin running around in their clubhouse today. All that matters is that penguins are adorable....
Pete Dexter: A Writer Who Makes Writers Want To Give Up
Pete Dexter was a columnist at the Philadelphia Daily News for close to ten years, from the late Seventies through the mid-Eighties. He wasn't just any old columnist but one of the most original we've ever had. His columns often read like short stories so it's no surprise that he went on to write no...
Harrison Barnes Is Still Very Good At Dunking
We haven't really heard much from Harrison Barnes ever since he opened the season with a vicious posterization of Nikola Pekovic. But last night Barnes played the game of his career, scoring 24 points and grabbing six rebounds while playing as an undersized power forward. He also threw down this sp...
Cop Posing As Hooker Tells Browns LB Anal Sex Would Be An Extra $20
Journeyman linebacker Quentin Groves only signed with the Browns—his fourth team in six NFL seasons—last month. Welcome to Cleveland!...
A.J. "Fuckin' Shit" Clemente Gets Pep Talk From News Legend Tom Brokaw
A.J. Clemente, whose first day at the anchor desk of Bismarck NBC affiliate KFYR became his last after being fired for opening the show with "Fuckin' Shit," made the rounds at NBC this morning and even earned a pep talk from one one of the biggest figures in broadcast news: Tom Brokaw....
Stephen Curry Finally Makes His Playoff Splash
Last night's Warriors-Nuggets game ended the way you'd expect it to end when the Nuggets play atrocious defense and the Warriors shoot somewhere around 125 percent from the floor. But the bigger factor–bless his heart and his shaky ankles–was Stephen Curry finally getting a chance to show us what he...
Brad Johnson Isn't Doing So Hot These Days
Broken knees, broken ankles, cracked vertebrae, nerve damage, the works. Brad Johnson is proof-positive you don't need brain trauma to suffer from your NFL career for the rest of your life....
