ns Page 2008 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Beer Of The Week: Hoptimus Prime
The further we get from the '80s, the less defensible the hero-toys look. G.I. Joes might've delivered creepily timed PSAs - oh, don't mind Doc hanging around outside your bathroom window, kiddos - but in setting up a reflexively force-oriented response to terroristic threats probably helped set the...
Wisconsin Fans Fond Of Wearing "Eat Shit/Fuck You" T-Shirts To Nationally-Televised Football Games
This is apparently a whole thing for Wisconsin fans, alongside their prefab dancing to terrible rap songs. "Eat shit" returned by "Fuck you!" is a student section chant, something as creative as, oh, "rah-rah-rah." Regardless, the truly clever exchange is now available on T-shirts, which the class...
Arkansas' Season-Long Nightmare Is In Full Swing
Against Arkansas today, Alabama covered the over (51 points) without allowing Arkansas to score. This is a difficult thing to accomplish. Vegas didn't see it coming - the last line I saw was Arkansas +20.5 - but at least two Razorbacks fans knew this one was going to be the college football equivale...
The Time ESPN's Lynn Hoppes Debunked MediaTakeOut's Report That Lolo Jones Was Dating Ndamukong Suh
On Thursday, an exclusive came roaring across the front page of the internet: MediaTakeOut.com, long beloved and respected for its crack reporting and evocative headlining, had the exclusive. The full text of their Lolo Jones/Ndamukong Suh love story:...
"Horse Crap": Oddly Enough, The Amazon Reviews For The Freeh Report Are Mostly Pretty Negative
That is to say, as negative as possible, in every case: the Freeh Report has 44 reviews on Amazon right now, and they are all one star. I mean, that sort of makes sense—who goes on Amazon to give a positive review of the report stemming from an extrajudicial review process?—but on the heels of Franc...
Remember Ian Beckles? Neither Do We, But He Got Arrested Last Night For Drunkenly Touching A Horse
Ah, Ian Beckles. Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles. Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles. Who the fuck is Ian Beckles?...
"Will Muschamp Listens To Nickelback": Your Roundup Of The Best Signs Behind The College Gameday Crew
Kenny Chesney is making picks and Lee Corso is wearing a cowboy hat (again) so let's do some signage. Above: Will Muschamp gets clowned yet again, when the Tennessee crowd suggests that, like all assholes, Will Muschamp listens to Nickelback....
Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: But Were They Six <em>Impressive</em> Touchdown Passes?
It's time for a new installment of Deadspin's college football rankings. As always, the teams are ranked according to the logic and values of college football, no matter how bizarre or contradictory they may be. ...
Ozzie Guillen Thinks ESPN's Buster Olney Is "Full Of Shit"
Today ESPN's Buster Olney published this (Insider-only) post questioning whether the Marlins' not meeting attendance projections could be blamed on Ozzie Guillen (and not, say, the team's utterly disappointing performance this year). Olney even opened the door for Guillen to be fired after the seas...
Bill Simmons Said Something About "Biggest Boners" On <em>PTI</em> Today, So Here's Four Minutes Of Him Saying It
It's Friday, and we can't think of any better way to spark the weekend than pouring a stiff drink, relaxing into a thick, comfortable chair, and engorging your ears by playing this recording of Bill Simmons repeatedly saying the word "boners." It's the perfect way to relax after a long, hard week....
Tom Brady's Cock Is Two Feet Long, Penn State Is A Cult, And Other Things We Learned From Tony Siragusa's Autobiography
Tony Siragusa may be a pain on Fox's NFL telecasts, during which producers have inexplicably tasked him with standing on the sidelines and bellowing nonsense. But the man can tell a good story. He does a lot of that in his new book, Goose: The Outrageous Life and Times of a Football Guy, which he co...
The Royals Are Hiring A Window Washer: "Must Not Be Afraid Of Heights"
Via Baseball Prospectus's Ben Lindbergh, this excellent job posting for which we are already updating our resumés. The Royals are seeking a new window cleaner, and the job consists of all the excitement a window cleaner could hope for....
Franco Harris Injects Himself Into Penn State Board Of Trustees Meeting, Has Microphone Cut Off
A contentious Penn State board of trustees public meeting today turned farce as NFL Hall of Famer and PSU alum Franco Harris attempted to commandeer the microphone despite not having registered to be a speaker....
Calvin Johnson Meets Randy Moss: Two Wide Receivers Bigger Than The Game
Sunday, the Detroit Lions go to Candlestick Park to play the San Francisco 49ers. It's an early season test for a pair of newly relevant teams. But much more importantly, it will be the first time that Calvin Johnson and Randy Moss have shared the field. The two receivers—Detroit's superstar and the...
Kid's Sign At Phillies Game: "If I Can Beat Cancer, You Can Beat The Astros"
This year's Astros team has drawn plenty of unfavorable comparisons, but now we finally can add one worse than the '62 Mets to the list: childhood cancer. A kid at last night's Philly-Houston game was spotted holding the above sign, which, considering the incredible strength required for a child to ...
There's A Lot Going On In This Photo Of A Passed-Out Oregon Ducks Fan Being Ogled By A Creepy Clown
Tipster Natalie sends along this incredible/weird image from the Oregon-Arkansas State game a couple of weekends ago in Eugene. It really requires no further explanation, but Natalie says the photo was taken by her son, whose friend is the creep in the crown mask. (Sorry, if you're in a clown mask f...
Drunk 9/11 Hippie Girl Speaks Out: "I Wanted To Make A Tribute"
On Tuesday, we brought you the tale of a Phillies superfan that one tipster dubbed "Drunk 9/11 Hippie Girl," a moniker based on (a) her presumed level of intoxication, (b) her unwavering patriotism, and (c) her obvious predilection for wearing headbands and bracelets and expressive body paint. After...
Ozzie Guillen Went On A Truly Fantastic Twitter Rant In Which He Compared Derek Jeter And Alex Cintron
Ozzie Guillen is back on Twitter, after three-and-a-half month sabbatical. Today he shared with the world his thoughts on Derek Jeter, Alex Cintron, football, and bullfighting, all in typical Ozzie fashion:...