ns Page 2015 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Franco Harris Brought A Cardboard Joe Paterno To Beaver Stadium Today
Franco Harris may be able to pick a wobbly incompletion from just above the turf, but he doesn't know how to pick his battles. His insistence on becoming the alpha Joe Paterno apologist rings with the dregs of denial: "He played such a minor part in this." Aaaaand now he's dragging JoePa's cardboard...

Mysterious License Plate Probably Says "Penis Trolls"
Pens trails? Panster lulz? Pan steer lies? Pins TRL Z? Like a Total Request Live reference? Pines tour reals? No, probably not...puns trials? Pains too...reals? That would be kind of deep, right? Punster lies? Pans tear roles? Panster rolls? Is that a thing? That sort sounds like it could be brand ...

Jack Sock's Run In US Open Comes To Close
Poor Jack Sock. The tennis gladiator named after the bravest piece of laundry in the mid-hamper has succumbed to Nicolás Almagro in the third round of the US Open. Sock's sacking was hardly surprising. After all, Almagro was the tournament's 11-seed. Sock, meanwhile, was unseeded. No shame there....

Girls High School Basketball Coach Probably Shouldn't Be Allowed Anywhere Near High Schools Or Girls
Chicago's SouthTown Star has the story of Bryan Craig, once the coach of Rich Central High School's varsity basketball team, now unemployed. Craig resigned after the board at the high school where he worked found out that he wrote and self-published a book called It's Her Fault (!), which featured ...

Yes, Penn State's Band Played "We Are Young" During Today's Game
The Penn State Blue Band put forth a rendition of Fun's "We Are Young" during the first half of today's matchup against Ohio. Should they have done that? (Chime in in the comments.) [ESPN]...

Ohio State's Devin Smith Made A Catch That's An Early Nominee For Play Of The Year
After a slow start that found themselves down 3-0 to Miami U., Ohio State broke ahead with this ridiculous catch by sophomore receiver Devin Smith, a one-handed affair that led Big Ten Network announcers in search of new underwear. [BTN]...
!["Jungle Bird" Psychotic Who Invaded The U.S. Open Trophy Ceremony Dances Jig Onfield At Notre Dame-Navy Game [UPDATE: Jungle Bird At The Pub After The Game!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17xsc5i6okh80jpg.jpg)
"Jungle Bird" Psychotic Who Invaded The U.S. Open Trophy Ceremony Dances Jig Onfield At Notre Dame-Navy Game [UPDATE: Jungle Bird At The Pub After The Game!]
Back in June, we presented video of a man calling himself "Jungle Bird" who invaded Webb Simpson's U.S. Open trophy ceremony with a series of squawks. Jungle Bird showed up again today in Dublin, when he invaded the field to perform a ceremonial jig with a football. ...

Police Seeking Huge Eagles Fan Wanted For Bank Robbery
Someone robbed the Keystone Federal Credit Union in Downingtown, Penn., this morning. He's described as 5'5", with a mustache, driving a tan sedan, and is 100 percent convinced that Nick Foles is the next Aaron Rodgers....

Five Labor Day Weekend Movies That Aren't Completely Terrible
You're not going to the movies on Labor Day weekend, are you? Hollywood assumes you aren't. Unlike Memorial Day or Independence Day or Christmas or even Martin Luther King Jr. Day, this holiday weekend is perennially stacked with losers, the films that the studios don't want to think about anymore. ...

Steelers Rookie Sean Spence Suffered A Grotesque Knee Injury In Last Night's Pre-Season Game
Steelers rookie linebacker Sean Spence will reportedly miss all of 2012 after suffering a torn ACL and LCL along with a dislocated kneecap in an incident during the third quarter of last night's Pittsburgh-Carolina preseason game....

Chicagoan "Nordic Thunder" Is Your Air Guitar World Champion
Finally, the Air Guitar World Championship has been returned to the US of A. Not since Craig "Hot Lixx Hulahan" Billmeier took the Golden Axe in 2008 has an American proudly stood above the world's best. Not until Justin Howard, better known to mortals as Nordic Thunder, took the prize this week a...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Washington Redskins
Some people are fans of the Washington Redskins. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Washington Redskins. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here...

The Rice Marching Band Took Some Halftime Shots At "U$C"
Thanks to Logan who sent in this photo of the Rice MOB (Marching Owl Band)'s performance at halftime of last night's season opener against UCLA. It seems, judging from Twitter, that the entire show was USC-themed—maybe some common ground with their Bruin opponents, or maybe just taking advantage of ...

A Fan Died After Falling From An Escalator During The Texans Game
Houston Police have confirmed that a middle-aged fan, who was possibly intoxicated, died when he fell from a Reliant Stadium escalator Thursday night and was fatally injured. ...

Of Course There Was An Awesome Rainbow On Vin Scully's Bobblehead Night
Some pictures don't require any extra explanation. This incredible shot of legendary Dodgers announcer Vin Scully accepting his own bobblehead doll, as he marvels at a blazing rainbow in the skies beyond right field, is one of them. Another strong nominee for sports photo of the year, I'd say....

Freshman UCLA Quarterback Brett Hundley Rushed For A 72-Yard Touchdown On His First Career Snap
When new UCLA head coach Jim Mora named redshirt freshman Brett Hundley starting quarterback for this season, it raised a few eyebrows. After all, the Bruins had two returning senior quarterbacks. To Mora's credit, it appears he may be on to something—the 6'4" 225 quarterback from Chandler, Arizon...

Penn State Has To Return The Bowl Trophies We All Know It Won Between 1998 And 2011
There's been some confusion about this since yesterday, when Jason Bristol of WHP, a television station in Harrisburg, Pa., first reported it. Initially, an NCAA spokesperson told Bristol that the NCAA expected Penn State to return the six bowl trophies the program had won during the 14 seasons from...

How Joe Redner Invented The Lap Dance, Built A Strip-Club Empire, Became A Model Citizen, Fought For Your Rights, And Beat Cancer
Plenty in Tampa have said it or at least thought it over the years: mayors and newspaper columnists, city council members and cops, the street preachers who'd picket his business, the television callers who'd threaten his life. But last August this was no longer a question of morality. Joe Redner re...

