ns Page 2035 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Walk-Off Home Run From Cody Ross Leaves Hawk Harrelson Silent For Over A Minute
Noted blatherer Hawk Harrelson is really only at a loss for words when the White Sox managed to inexplicably blow a lead late in the game and lose. For example, maybe Chicago is playing at Fenway and about to pull off an efficient 1-0 win thanks to eight solid innings from starting pitcher Jose Qu...
Former Board President Steve Garban Is First Penn State Trustee To Resign
It's hard to believe that in all the months since the Sandusky scandal broke, and amid all the calls for accountability among Penn State's leadership, that not one member of the university's Board of Trustees had resigned. Now, there comes word from Happy Valley that Steve Garban, who was board pres...
<em>Appetite For Destruction</em> At 25: One Horny Young Boy's Recollection
The first kid in my middle school to discover Appetite for Destruction was a big football player named Si. Everyone in my class was terrified of Si because Si was the only kid in our grade who had gotten pubes. You walked into the shower and in the crowd of hairless penises was this big kid with a m...
Rockies Fans Aren't Even Allowed To Wear Paper Bags On Their Heads
There are teams you want to see lose. Franchises that give you some sort of sick joy from their struggles, fanbases you eagerly wish August mathematical elimination upon. The Colorado Rockies are not one of those teams....
Noted Pirates Fan Captain Jack Sparrow Is At Today's Twins-Orioles Game
Notorious international criminal Captain Jack Sparrow is in, of all places, Minneapolis today, and while his favorite team may be Pittsburgh's Bucs it appears he has a soft spot for American League ball as well—proving that even terrorism, grand theft, and murder need a day off. It leads us to ask ...
Cartoon Bear Bryant Kicked Cartoon Joe Paterno Out Of Cartoon Heaven
This is the pen-and-ink version of Sally Jenkins's or Rick Reilly's mea culpa eviscerations of Joe Paterno, knowing what we all know now about the late coach's role in Penn State's cover-up. Editorial cartoonist Rob Tornoe has updated his Philadelphia Inquirer cartoon from January, top, which showed...
Rory McIlroy "Nearly Decapitates" Spectator With Errant Drive At 15th Hole
Rory McIlroy's wacky season (claiming the #1 ranking, but missing the U.S. Open cut) continued today at Royal Lytham and St. Annes as he crept his way onto the leaderboard only to find his drive at the par four 15th go far to the right, drilling a spectator in the skull. (Never a publication to en...
Jason Kendall Is Attempting A Comeback With The Royals
Jason Kendall hasn't played in the big leagues since his 118 games with the Royals in 2010. He hit .256/.318/.297 then. He was 36. He showed no signs of future promise. He looked finished, and had season-ending rotator-cuff surgery in September to prove it. So we thought we were free to send Kendall...
CSN Chicago Brings Us More Locker-Room Dong, And This One Appears To Belong To Kevin Youkilis [NSFW] [UPDATE]
Terry Francona once quipped about Kevin Youkilis's Greek God of Walks moniker: "I've seen him in the shower: he's not the Greek God of anything." It seems we may have the opportunity here to judge for ourselves, as this CSN Chicago locker room interview with White Sox pitcher Pedro Hernandez acci...
ESPN Hack Lynn Hoppes Copies Press Releases, Too
It's not hard to spot the biggest hacks in any newsroom. The biggest hacks are the reporters who rewrite press releases. Emphasis on the word "rewrite," since the laziest, most unimaginative journalist can typically muster the energy and self-respect to tweak a predicate or two. Even hacks don't wan...
Today In Insanely Homophobic Statements From Small-Town Sports Columnists
Oh jeez. This is the kind of column you read, and then you do your due diligence to make sure it's not a parody news site. It's not! The Niagara Falls Reporter is real, and Lenny Palumbo is a real person, and he really wrote this....
Jose Reyes Home Run Drills Wrigley Field Usher In The Back
The Marlins announcers were oddly impressed that Reyes was able to hit one out to right even with the wind at Wrigley blowing in, but a reader named Justin happened to notice where the ball actually lands. The best view is at the end of the clip below, beginning right around the 41-second mark. Yep....
Kris And Anna Benson To Divorce After 13 Irritating Years
If a boring overpaid retired major leaguer and a crazy former stripper can't make it, what chance do the rest of us have? Kris Benson and Anna Benson, overhyped sports power couple of all overhyped sports power couples, have decided that this is it: after 13 years of marriage, it's divorce time....
Jimmy Rollins: Sass Machine
With a series sweep of the Dodgers an out away and Jonathan Papelbon on the mound, the Philadelphia Phillies might have had their bags mentally packed. But when Matt Kemp beat out a deep infield single—one that drove in the tying run and eventually led to Kemp's walk-off 12th-inning homer—Jimmy Rol...
Minnesota Governor Says Football Players Get Arrested Because They're Basically Soldiers Returning From War
It's hard to understate how shocking Adrian Peterson's arrest is in Minnesota. It's just a misdemeanor, for a weird sole charge of resisting arrest, and the details of the incident sound less than damning, but this is AP. All Day. Purple Jesus. Peterson has never had even a whiff of trouble, and by ...
Dhani Jones Took An Incredible Photo Of A Storm Consuming New York
Did you know it's raining hard over here on the East Coast? You probably did, because your East Coast friends on Twitter won't shut up about it. But when you've got a picture this good, it's okay to share....
Seven Times As Many People Watched A Rambo Movie in Spanish As Watched Major League Lacrosse. Sports TV Ratings, In Context.
A weekly feature wherein we contextualize TV ratings for national sports broadcasts. Data via Nielsen and Sports Business Journal's John Ourand. Viewership numbers represent approximate number of persons tuned to a given program; ratings share refers to the percentage of all households using a telev...
Matt Barkley Says He Would Have Been Drafted Before Robert Griffin III
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Barkley says he goes second, after Luck—but before RG3....
The Iron Sheik Tries To Cut The Line At The Atlanta Olympics: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...
Here Is The Inevitable Photo Of Pedobear Posing Alongside The Joe Paterno Statue
The attached photo was snapped and sent into us by an anonymous tipster. Yes, that is a person in a Pedobear costume standing mockingly next to the Paterno statue. We present it to you without further comment, although we are rather impressed with the lighting....