ns Page 2124 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Idiot Columnist Writes Idiot Column About Ovechkin And Steroids
John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has ne...
Can Anyone Out There Talk About Tim Tebow Without Turning Into A Moron?
Jesus H. Christ on burnt toast, what the hell is this?...
"Mashed Potatoes!" Is Tiger's New "Get In The Hole!"
Tiger Woods ended a winless streak of more than two years yesterday when he took the Chevron World Challenge trophy by a stroke over Zach Johnson, so let's all celebrate his return to the sport's champion status by listening to a fan scream "Mashed Potatoes" after his final-round drive from the 18...
Ken Rosenthal: Jose Reyes And Marlins Agree On $106M Deal
Yeah, it is Ken Rosenthal, but it sounds like this shit may stick....
Kansas City's Tyler Palko And Dexter McCluster Connect On Hail Mary
The fifty yard heave pinballed around for a few seconds before finally landing in the hands of McCluster. The play ended a streak of 31 possessions without an offensive touchdown....
Ndamukong Suh Crashes Car, Introduces America To Quipster Cop
Early Saturday morning in Portland, Ndamukong Suh lost control of his car (pictured), hitting a tree, a lightpole and a water fountain. Suh was presumably spending his two week Goodell-imposed vacation at home with his family. Or cruising around Portland's "night club district" in his muscle car at...
Oklahoma State Fans Storm Field Following Big 12 Championship Win, Two In Critical Condition
It was an exuberant display, and you can hear the announcer really trying (and absolutely failing) to cement the moment for us: "Happy, happy, happy day!" Unfortunately, officials are reporting that 13 revelers were injured as students stormed the field and tore down the goal posts. According to M...
Wisconsin Punter Flops His Way To Big 10 Championship Glory
Your morning roundup for Dec. 4, the day we got hammered on gummi bears. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....
Jeff Duckworth's Catch In The Big 10 Title Game Sparked A Gusgasm
Gus Johnson took some deserved criticism Friday night when he desperately tried to convince viewers UCLA still had a chance to upset Oregon late in the Ducks' 49-31 blowout of the Bruins, but fans of the spirited FOX announcer quickly came back on board when this Jeff Duckworth catch sparked one o...
"Mele Kalikimaka!" BYU-Hawai'i Game Delayed By A Bad Santa
This clip's as funny for the commentary provided by ESPN2's Carter Blackburn & Brock Huard as it is the visual of a man in full Santa Claus getup "streaking" in the third quarter of the BYU-Hawai'i game at Aloha Stadium tonight. (They like doing this sort of thing there, as you might remember from...
Ukrainian Women's Rights Activists Protest Legalizing Prostitution By Getting Naked
Makes sense to everyone, right? The group, Femen ("Femen has established an international reputation for staging semi-naked protests in Ukraine and abroad."), held the naked demonstration outside Kiev's Olympic Stadium. They claim that UEFA is attempting to legalize prostitution during the 2012 Eur...
Tommy Lasorda Needs To Be "In The Right Fuckin' Frame Of Mind" To Do Something
Here you can see a lively and virile Tommy Lasorda chewing out some hapless camera crew for wasting his time with a bunch of amateur mistakes, no doubt. It's as if none of these guys have ever worked on TV before, the fuckin' assholes....
At Least Jerry Sandusky's Dog Understands Him
For some reason passing understanding, Jerry Sandusky sat down with The New York Times this week for an interview. The entire thing was recorded on audiotape and portions of the interview were videotaped. Although you should definitely read and watch—if only to see Sandusky squirm—there's not much ...
Lane Kiffin Tweeted A Happy Birthday Wish To Britney Spears
Of course he did. [via]...
Stuff Jerry Sandusky's Lawyer Says Just Keeps Backfiring
Yesterday, we learned that lawyerin' boob Joe Amendola had bragged to Sara Ganim of the Patriot-News of Harrisburg that four of the eight victims cited in the grand jury report recently had "friendly encounters" (Ganim's phrase) with Amendola's client, Jerry Sandusky. Amendola even went so far as t...
There's A Great Salad Bar At Maple Leaf Gardens: The Second And Third Lives Of The Original Six Arenas
While we're on the topic of the sad fates of arenas without teams, it's worth noting that this week saw the beginning of a rebirth for the old Maple Leaf Gardens. The art deco masterpiece, which the Leafs abandoned for new downtown digs in 1999, is a National Historic Site. But lying largely dormant...
Photoshop Contest: Raiders LB Rolando McClain's Fantastic Perp Walk Grin
When we first saw the above photo of Rolando McClain after he was arrested yesterday in his hometown of Decatur, Ala., on misdemeanor gun and assault charges, we kind of thought it had already been doctored. I mean, just look at that facial expression, at that playful tilt of the head. But the phot...
Charles Barkley To Dan Patrick: "I Hate Skip Bayless More Than Any Person In The World"
Charles Barkley, the man who makes a living off of speaking truth to the power of sports figures and commentators that we all kind of hate, is on record as saying that ESPN's Skip Bayless is "one of the two people [he'd] like to kill." But since murder is kind of bad for one's public image, Chuck ...
For Some Strange Reason, Penn State Is Now Worried About Fundraising
December is the month for giving, and Penn State officials are humping the phones trying to persuade donors to keep the cheese flowing in the wake of the Jerry Sandusky scandal. Doesn't look good so far: "[M]ore than a dozen people who had planned to leave an inheritance to the school have changed t...
Penn State Makes Joe Paterno's Firing Official In Appropriately Undignified Setting
The Penn State Board of Trustees needed only four minutes this morning to formally toss Joe Paterno out the window, and this was the scene. That's right: JoePa got shitcanned via teleconference in what looks like Meeting Room 3 of the nicest Best Western in Happy Valley. God, that's sad. You half-ex...