ns Page 2140 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Peyton Hillis Is Sorry He Crushed The Spirits Of 50 Children On Halloween, But It Wasn't All His Fault
Peyton Hillis, the Browns injured running back and Madden cover boy, was supposed to attend a Halloween party for some 50 children from the Cleveland Boys and Girls Club on Monday. But he didn't. And he says it's because he got "misinformation" that resulted in a "miscommunication between me and th...

Ho-hum, Cristiano Ronaldo Is Scoring On Stupidly Awesome Free Kicks Again
After Lionel Messi's hat trick Tuesday—his second consecutive match with at least three goals—the world turned to Real Madrid striker Cristiano Ronaldo for a response. He delivered early in RM's Champions League match at Lyon, with a blistering free kick that had the Lyonnais seeking shelter and O...

At 2:16 This Afternoon, John Beck Got Sacked Again
That's when the NFL sent out their weekly stat corrections, upping the number of times the Bills brought down Beck to 10. Nick Barnett and Danny Batten share credit....

This Is What ESPN.com Under Attack Looks Like
The #occupytebow comment feed over on ESPN's now-regrettable post, "Time for Elway to think post-Tebow," is still going after three days. If anything, it's only gotten more spirited. You can watch in real time on the post, but we also went ahead and captured a bit of the glory for those of you who...

Beer Down In Calgary!
Lee Stempniak transmitted a check through Alexander Edler and the plexiglass to knock a crisp frosty brew out of the hands of one unlucky fan, who really should have waited for a break in the action to walk back to his front row seats, the entitled jackass. And if you're with that guy behind you, ...

It's Come To This: Lenny Dykstra And Jose Canseco Will Fight A Celebrity Boxing Match
Just when you think Lenny Dykstra has finally drowned in life's big fat puddle of chew spit, he swims to the surface long enough to cough up just a little more of what's left of his dignity....

Oh, No. No, No, No. (Man Gets A Texans Super Bowl Champions Tattoo)
Man, Chris Brown, you are a brave, stupid man. Not only did you get a Texans logo tattooed on your arm, framed by the words "Super Bowl" XVLI Champion. But you shaded the area behind the roman numerals so you won't be able to fix it in the future. Why would you do this, Chris?...

Note To ESPN: There Is A Significant Difference Between An "Elephant Keeper" And An "Elephant Walker"
Tony La Russa is making the post-retirement media tour, and on Monday he stopped by Late Show with David Letterman, during which he revealed a Sacramento-area animal rescue group had offered him a position as elephant keeper....

John Brown University Basketball Fans Wasted A Ton Of Toilet Paper Last Night, And It Looked Glorious
Last night in Siloam Springs, Ark., the NAIA's John Brown University played its first game of the 2011-12 season against Hillsdale Freewill Baptist and won, 101-58. And as they do every year, the Golden Eagles surrendered two easy points to Hillsdale in the second minute of the game, after officia...

<i>Of Course</i> Rex Grossman Is Mickey Rourke's Favorite Quarterback
When the world's ballsiest train wreck calls you "a train wreck with balls," you know you're doing something right, Rex. [Nerd Tears]...

How Contempt For Tim Tebow Caused An ESPN.com Commenter Revolution
The ESPN.com comment section is a den of iniquity and misspelling, and for the world's largest sports site, it's curiously inessential. The open registration means the discourse tends toward lowest common denominator, and it's too big to engender much sense of community. But once in a long while the...

BREAKING: ESPN's Jenn Brown Is Locked Inside A Hotel Bathroom And Is Live-Tweeting About It (UPDATED)
It's been more than 30 minutes since she called for help. We'll keep you posted. [@JennBrownESPN]...

Here's Chad McGhee With Your Weekly Knox City Greyhounds Update
Back-to-back wins over undefeated 1A 6 Man 1 Region III District 9 (6 Man) teams were not meant to be for the mighty Knox City Greyhounds who suffered a 72-50 loss to the mightier Throckmorton Greyhounds. This, after Chad emerged from the tunnel at a pep rally to Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like A Lad...

Nebraska Volleyball Player/Coach's Daughter With Suspended License Hits Two Motorcyclists, Takes Off
Per the Omaha World-Herald, a witness reported that University of Nebraska Husker volleyball star "Lauren Cook's expression left no doubt she knew she had struck two people on a motorcycle in north Lincoln before fleeing the scene."...

Toledo Frat Boy Surprisingly Consumed With Informing You About His Penis
There's been plenty of scoring in the first quarter of MACtion between NIU and Toledo—the Huskies lead 21-14 early, helped by two Tommylee Lewis kickoff return TDs— but this Toledo fratter's looking for some scoring of his own, from the looks of his sign and the very subtle crotch-grab with which ...

UNC And Michigan State Will Wear Ugly Camo Uniforms In Game On Aircraft Carrier
Now is as good of a time as any to remind the world that in just a week and a half, two premier college basketball programs will be playing an actual game that will actually count on a giant aircraft carrier on the water in San Diego. And they'll be doing so, it turns out, in camouflage jerseys that...

Canadian Sportscaster Does Entire Report In Two-Face Costume
Nothing says legitimate newsgathering operation like anchors in costume, and here's CHEX-TV (Peterborough, Ontario) sports anchor Tyler Calver dressed as Batman villain Two-Face, though I'd like to think he's dressed as ESPN's conflicting business and editorial responsibilities....

Hugging A Member Of The Opposite Hockey Team After Scoring A Goal Will Probably Get You Punched In The Face
And we all have Henrik Eriksson of Mora IK in Sweden to thank for that demonstration. [SportsGrid, via Puck Daddy]...

The FBI Now Considers The Juggalos A "Loosely-Organized Hybrid Gang"
The annual National Gang Threat Assessment, released yesterday by the FBI, classifies our friends the Juggalos as a "loosely-organized hybrid gang" that is "forming more organized subsets and engaging in more gang-like criminal activity." The grouping ranks them as a kind of junior varsity version o...

It Was Halloween, So Maybe The Chiefs Just Frightened Philip Rivers
Your morning roundup for Nov. 1, the morning ... WHOA! Photo via Kansascity.com; h/t to Michael T. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....