ns Page 2147 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In "Bus Driver Gets Stabbed By Masturbating Passenger" News
"Authorities say the driver was picking up passengers at the Silver Spring station when he was told by several patrons that a man in the back of the bus had exposed himself and was masturbating. The driver asked the man to stop. As the bus approached the Wheaton station, police say the man got into...

Bryan Stow Has Left The Hospital
It's great that Bryan Stow is getting transferred from a hospital to a long-term rehabilitation center more than six months after getting beaten into a coma outside Dodger Stadium. Especially when the San Francisco Chronicle story about it contains this vignette:...

Crazed Fan Swarms Minnesota Lynx During Championship Parade In Pedestrian Mall
The Minnesota Lynx won the 2011 WNBA championship today, after defeating the Atlanta Dream, 73-67, for a three-game sweep in the finals. They were feted by a parade in downtown Minneapolis this afternoon: 15,000 fans came out to Nicollet Mall, and 4,500 more joined the team at the Target Center. All...

Thanks For The Memories, Booty Lounge: We Bid Farewell To Detroit's Mobile Strip Club
The Booty Lounge, Detroit's mobile strip club that found its most loyal audience in the Lions' tailgating community, was booted from the premises near Ford Field during yesterday's festivities....

Mesut Özil Unleashes A Wicked Goal Against Belgium
Germany beat Belgium 3-1 today in Euro 2012 qualifiers. The first goal came from distance off the enchanted left foot of attacking midfielder Mesut Özil. In the replay, you may see a Belgian defender silently give thanks for being a flagpole too far to the right to block the shot....

The White Sox Could Have Had A Player-Manager. Damn, So Close.
Robin Ventura was formally introduced as the new White Sox manager today, a move that few people saw coming. But in a move that even fewer people saw not-coming, which they shouldn't have because it didn't happen, the ChiSox braintrust "considered" naming Paul Konerko a player-manager, the first in ...

Steve Spurrier Kicks Reporter Out Of Press Conference, Announces Dismissal Of QB Stephen Garcia, Drops The Mic
At the start of his weekly press conference today—and just about an hour before announcing that former starting QB Stephen Garcia had been dismissed from the team—South Carolina football coach Steve Spurrier made an announcement to the gathered reporters. He would not, he explained, go through wit...

Lions And Zebras And Bears—Oh Crap
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

The Shittiest Seven Minutes Of The NFL Season, Condensed To One Shitty Minute
This is the Bears' second drive of the game, reduced to just the play stoppages. The drive lasted seven minutes and featured seven penalty calls in all and ended with Matt Forte getting stuffed on a fourth-and-1 at Detroit's 26. It was horrible. Relive it here....

South Africa To Miss Out On Africa Cup Of Nations After Deliberately Playing To Boring 0-0 Draw
The South African national soccer team intentionally played to a 0-0 draw against Sierra Leone this past Saturday, and then danced across the field in celebration of having qualified for the 2012 Africa Cup of Nations. The problem: Bafana Bafana, as the team is known, had not qualified for the 2012 ...

Semi-Sentient Mammals Of The NFC North: Your <i>Monday Night Football</i> Open Thread
Cutler! Stafford! Suh! Urlacher! And a cast of 102 other players, many of them memorable in their own right. It's Bears/Lions on ESPN, with Detroit trying to keep pace with Green Bay, and Chicago merely trying to stay above water....

Kenyon Martin Would Like All Of His Haters To "Catch Full Blown AIDS And Die!"
A veteran of 11 NBA seasons, Kenyon Martin has no doubt encountered a hater or two in his travels throughout the league. One might thus assume he's conditioned himself to keep whatever negativity that gets hurled his way from truly bothering him. But one would be wrong....

Mike Shanahan Once Ordered Elvis Grbac To Drill Al Davis In The Head With A Pass
Al Davis had plenty of respect within the NFL power structure, as we learned this weekend. Those of us who knew him only as a craggy-faced Jamarcus-loving iconoclast now know of him as something better than that, a powerfully transformative figure. But he still had enemies. Among them: onetime Raide...

Hank Williams Jr. Has Recorded A Rollicking Obama/<i>Fox & Friends</i>/ESPN Diss Track Called "Keep The Change" (Updated)
You know what's inherently lame? Country music battle songs. In aggressive country music battles, the only gauge for how "bad" someone is is how angrily they can say "America" or "U.S.A." while still maintaining a legitimate twang. Nevertheless, disgraced "Are You Ready For Some Football?" singer ...

Chris Myers Called Jared Allen "The One-Eyed Monster" On Live Television (Video)
Vikings defensive end Jared Allen got poked in the eye during the third quarter of yesterday's win over the Cardinals. The injury forced him to sit for several plays and to wear a visor to protect his face upon his return. But when Allen sacked Kevin Kolb in the fourth quarter, Chris Myers couldn'...

The Impact And The Darkness: The Lasting Effect Of Peter Gent's <em>North Dallas Forty</em>
At the climactic moment in the climactic game near the end of the 1979 film North Dallas Forty, Delma Huddle, having reluctantly let the team doctor shoot up his damaged hamstring, starts upfield after catching a pass, then suddenly pulls up lame and gets obliterated by a linebacker moving at full...

SprtsCntr: Stephen A. Smith Pushes The Panic Button On The Eagles
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Here's Dwayne Bowe With A Ridiculous Juggling Catch in the Chiefs-Colts Game
There's not much for Kansas City fans to be joyous about this season, but at least they got to see Dwayne Bowe make this catch today. Even if they are currently losing to Curtis Painter and the Colts....

Here's Your First Bloodied-Face Picture Of The New NHL Season
Presenting Tim Jackman, of the Calgary Flames, from last night's season-opener against the Pittsburgh Penguins. Jackman didn't score any points in the Flames's 5-3 loss, but he did serve a two-minute minor for too many men on the ice. H/T to tipster Noah D., who reports "Jackman actually went in fo...

Texas A&M AD: Hooligans Shit Put Manure In, And On, Our Buses In The Land Of Texas Tech
"Texas A&M's team buses were vandalized in Lubbock, Texas A&M athletics director Bill Byrne said on his twitter account. 'Someone vandalized our buses in Lubbock,' he wrote. 'Excrement inside and outside of buses plus spray painted vulgarities on outside. Classy.' The Aggies traveled to Lubbock for...