ns Page 2163 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dosed with a few micrograms of polonium-210. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna ...
Watch The Stanley Cup Fall Down Go Boom, Get Dented
Just another battle scar for the old girl, who's seen plenty of dings and feces in her lifetime. The Cup was in St. John's, Newfoundland, preparing for its helicopter trip to Michael Ryder's hometown of Bonavista. After Ryder set it down on a table (with official NHL tablecloth), the whole damn thin...
Tiki Barber Finally Proposes To Young Blonde Blamed For Destroying His First Marriage
Since Tiki's attempts at joining an NFL team this season appear to have stalled, he's got more time to focus on other things in his life like finalizing his divorce from his wife Ginny and making an honest gal out of 24-year-old Traci Johnson, the former NBC intern who stole his heart two years ago....
In 1964, USC Trojans In Training Had To Do A Whole Lot Of "Trotting"
It seems impossible now, but student-athletes were once students before they were athletes. And one of the coaching staff's main problems was to make sure their players stayed active over the summer. Training camp was only two weeks long, not nearly long enough to whip them into shape if they weren'...
NFL Will Kick Off Exciting New Season With Worst Concert Of All Time
"Kid Rock, Lady Antebellum and Maroon 5 will play the 'NFL Kickoff 2011' concert outside Lambeau Field before the Green Bay Packers' Sept. 8 opener against the New Orleans Saints." [AP]...
Cedric Benson Will Spend His Bye Week In Jail
Last summer in Austin, Cedric Benson got into a bar fight that we'll rate 0.2 Jordan Jeffersons. He shoved some workers and threw a punch, and was arrested for misdemeanor assault. Today he paid the piper, pleading no contest and being sentenced to 20 days in jail....
The Tulsa Shock Might Not Even Be The Worst Team In The League This Year
The long-suffering Tulsa Shock are now suffering just a little bit less! Since we checked in with them on Friday—when they seemed on track to surpass the 2010-11 Cleveland Cavaliers for the worst losing streak in NBA/WNBA history—the Shock have tripled their win count for the season....
If You Taunt Gary One More Time, He's Received Permission From His Wife To Fight You In Real Life
As we've seen with our "Life Lessons" segment, some people take sports way too seriously. But none as serious as fantasy football players. Each week, we'll feature some of the whiniest, bitchiest, nastiest, most sociopathic emails from this group of very special people so you can point and laugh at ...
Serena Williams Cannot Really Recall That Line Judge Incident From "Like, Two Years Ago"
Remember that time at the 2009 U.S. Open, when Serena Williams told a line judge she was going to shove a tennis ball down her throat? Of course you do. Everyone remembers. Except for Serena....
Arian Foster Can't Stand Colin Cowherd, Either
Foster joins George C. Scott (and, well, "everybody"): "Did you want to be a critic as a child? Or did your dreams die with your humility? RT @ESPN_Colin Hey Arian Foster—-'We really do care about you as a human too. Um,now about that hammy? —signed, everybody" [@ArianFoster, @ESPN_Colin]...
Today In "Bizarre" Injury Ledes
Swansea defender Alan Tate has broken his leg in what his club have described as a "bizarre golfing accident." Tate was a passenger in a golf buggy at a south Wales club on Sunday when the buggy "lost control," Swansea said." [Daily Mail] (H/T Tomuban)...
Arian Foster Really Does Not Care About Your Fantasy Team
Foster, last season's rushing champion, tweaked his left hamstring in last night's 49ers-Texans preseason game. He hurt the same hamstring earlier in camp. He appreciates your concern about his semitendinosus, unless you are concerned simply because of your fantasy team....
Pete Rose Twitter Impostor Dupes Aaron Boone
If you don't believe that Twitter account @hit14king is actually Pete Rose, @hit14king defies you to "Call Aaron Boone and say what's up 513-226-7250 #reds #hatsoffcin #4192 its me people." ...
Here's Another NFL Preseason Photobomb
Say hi to Nick Mangold, who made a shot of Mark Sanchez getting interviewed all about him during the Jets/Bengals preseason game last Sunday. (H/T The Chive, via JayGlas12)...
Brave TV Reporter Gets A Mouthful Of Sewage-Seasoned Sea Foam To Seize The Big Story
Your morning roundup for Aug. 28, the day we give a shout out to aquatic fleas. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. (Want more Tucker Barnes? Here.)...
Soccer Hooliganism In Switzerland Features A Lot Of SWAT-Team Intimidating Violence
You'd have been forgiven if you didn't think the land that gave us Roger Federer and Toblerone white chocolate was capable of bottle-throwing, stick-swinging, flare-wielding, mace-throwing, cop-scaring hooliganism....
Youth Football Coach Gets Tased Three Times After Choking A Kid, Police Find A Lot Of Ammo In His Car
Here's how Corriher-Lipe Middle School head football coach Douglas Pruitt explains what happened between assistant coach Jared Gallagher and a 12-year-old player this week in Rowan County, N.C.:...
Brandon Davies's Sexual Punishment Has Officially Ended While Jimmer's Has Just Begun
BYU announced yesterday that it reinstated Brandon Davies to its basketball team and to engage in its academic offerings. He'd been suspended since March for an "honor code violation" in which "honor code violation" means engaging in sexual intercourse with his girlfriend....
Bobby Valentine Has Left The People Of Stamford To Protect Themselves From Hurricane Irene
Bobby Valentine is public-safety director in the fine city of Stamford, Conn. Bobby Valentine is also an ESPN booth guy for MLB games. All of which is to say that Bobby Valentine will be commentating on the Angels/Rangers game in Arlington, Texas on Sunday night when Hurricane Irene stomps all over...
Let's Watch Cesc Fabregas Score His First Highlight-Reel Goal For Barcelona
Your morning roundup for Aug. 27, the day Chevy Chase's resurgence finally got to Dan Aykroyd, but not necessarily to Bill Murray, because Bill Murray knows he's better than Ghostbusters 3. This, because he unequivocally is. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....