ns Page 2194 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Constitution Gives You The Right To Flip Off Rival Fans
A huge court ruling has gone completely under the radar. It's not a steroids witch hunt, or a BCS antitrust suit, but something far more important to the day-to-day lives of sports fans: protecting your First Amendment right to bear middle fingers at a football game....

Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....

Here's Video Of A Scottish Soccer Fan Attacking A Scottish Soccer Manager Earlier Today
With a 3-0 win over Heart of Midlothian (aka Hearts) at Tynecastle Stadium in Edinburgh, Scotland, Celtic moved to within one point of Rangers for the Scottish Premier League title. But, here's the real story:...

Jay Mariotti Charged With Felony Stalking And Assaulting His Ex-Girlfriend Again, Faces Five Years In Prison
According to a press release issued by the Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office, former ESPN commentator Jay Mariotti pleaded not guilty today to allegations of stalking and assaulting the former girlfriend he was convicted of assaulting last year. Here's the release in its entirety:...

The Kids With The Ole Miss Stolen Laptop Write A Thank You To Whomever
Yesterday, the story of the two Ole Miss students who had their laptops stolen over the weekend only to find them mysteriously returned in shrubbery with a note attached decided to follow-through with a public thank you to the anonymous good samaritan....

Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction, Part II: "... His Tongue Raging Against His Boss's"
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit hears the bell tolling. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna XCVI.")...

Bernard Hopkins Promotes Upcoming Fight By Calling Donovan McNabb A House Negro
Not long ago, HBO aired a promo for Bernard Hopkins vs. Jean Pascal in which the brassy tongued Hopkins verbally mauled his Haitian opponent. Unfortunately, HBO wasn't present when Hopkins lost his mind yesterday and voiced some astounding opinions about Donovan McNabb. Good thing Hopkins voiced the...

Lamar Odom Turns To Video Games For His Hoop Dreams
OK, maybe this is rock bottom for Page 2, but there's an excellent mental image in here: Lamar Odom last week playing as Lamar Odom in NBA 2K11 against the Mavericks, and his opponent letting him win....

All Aboard The Bandwagon: Tampa Bay Writer Decides, On The Verge Of Conference Finals, That He Is A Hockey Fan
St. Pete Times writer Ben Montgomery has watched a grand total of seven Lightning games in his life, and they happen to be the most recent seven. The Lightning won all seven of those games. That's the kind of thing that makes one a hockey fan for life, right?...

Here's The Voice Of Oregon State Sports, Drunk And Eating A Napkin At Denny's
This video's been floating around for a couple months under the description Drunk Man Eats Napkin At West Hollywood Denny's at 3:10 am. But this week, some folks near Corvallis noticed the subject looked a little familar. And indeed, it's Mike Parker, the radio play-by-play guy for the Beavers. Wh...

It Was Wrestling Mask Night In Anaheim
Your morning roundup for May 11, the day the pre-prom body cavity searches were called off....

Ole Miss Students Have Laptops Stolen, Mom Of Young Thief Writes Cryptic Apology Letter To Them
I don't know what to make of this odd letter that came to us today. The email it was attached to gives some more of the zany details and, if it's true, it's remarkably fucked up....

We Are All Dave McKenna XCV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is consumed by the fires of justice in DC Superior Court, where fires of justice occasionally erupt, possibly in trash cans reserved for frivo...

Watch The "JetMan" Fly Across The Grand Canyon
Yves "JetMan" Rossy, a Swiss "pilot, inventor and aviation enthusiast," has a custom-made human jet suit, and today he flew 200 feet over the Hualapai Reservation on the Grand Canyon. How's your Tuesday going?...

You Can Usually Spot The Season Ticket Holders
[via StripClubWithStanton, h/t Smoot]...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCIV
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is walked to slaughter under an angry moon....

An Update On Telling You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
We felt very bad last time. We hate blind items (though we did guess Ryan Giggs). But there's this thing in the UK where celebrities can get court-ordered injunctions against newspapers publishing items about their personal lives. They're called injunctions, and lots of celebrities have them, and to...

The Lakers Were Classless Yesterday, According To The Cue Cards Magic Johnson Is Reading
An alternate interpretation: "I am not. Reading from cue. Cards. Next card. I am saying. Original thoughts. That I have thought. I am doing. My very best. To sound somber and. Grave. By dramatically spacing. My words. Is it. Working."...

We Are All Dave McKenna XCIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit locks itself in a garage with the engine running....

After Mendenhall, Scoop Jackson Provides A Handy Guide To ESPN's Corporate Twitter Policy
Rashard Mendenhall wrote some thoughtless shit on Twitter after Bin Laden's death last week. Whatever you think about American military operations, or the popular reaction to the US mission, it's fair to say that Mendenhall's tweets didn't represent an athlete's thoughtful examination of jingoism ...