ns Page 2203 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Cowbell Tolls For The Sacramento Kings
The Kings played what was likely their final game in Sacramento last night, and it ended in a 116-108 overtime loss to the Lakers. The finality of the night, along with a sell-out crowd that showed the kind of affection and made the kind of noise you'd never find at the Staples Center 400 miles so...

A Guide To Augusta National, Courtesy Of A Pro Golfer's Yardage Book
Golf WRX presents a page-by-page view of Kevin Streelman's yardage book from the 2011 Masters. You know when you're watching golf, and you think, "How the hell did he decide to do that?" Here's some insight. [Golf WRX, H/T SponsoredbyV8]...

Semin Leads The Capitals To Sweet, Sweaty Extended-Time Victory
Your morning roundup for April 14, the day San Dimas High School football no longer rules in the eyes of the Chinese government....

The Dodgers Decided It's Not A Good Idea To Sell Half-Priced Booze At Day Games
Thirteen days after a Giants fan was beaten into a coma outside Dodger Stadium by two reportedly drunk savages, the Los Angeles Dodgers announced tonight that "half-price alcoholic beverages are no longer part of the Dodgers' Half Price Food & Drink Promotion." The first cheap drunkening would have...

We Are All Dave McKenna LXVIII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Snyder's dumbass libel suit gets publicly ridiculed like a modern day Hester Prynne who plays the victim card early and often instead of wielding dignity as a weapon....

Either Somebody Comes Up With $25K By Friday Or UConn's Championship Parade Is Off
It's one thing to win what ranks among the worst men's college basketball championship games ever. It's another thing altogether to have to ask the city of Hartford or the state of Connecticut to pony up some coin to have a parade to accompany "the scheduled celebration for the team at the state Ca...

Lil' Wayne Likely First Rapper Ever To Wear A Women's College Basketball Jersey In Public
Weezy's full-blown crush on Notre Dame guard Skylar Diggins swelled to a creepier degree last night, when he performed at Indiana University in a #4 Fighting Irish jersey. We're unable to confirm this, but we reckon that this just may be the first time in our nation's history that a rapper has donne...

Amazingly, Someone Else Now Claims To Have Invented The "Charge" Chant
On Monday, we brought word that Bobby Kent, a musician from South Florida, claimed to have written the 'da da da da da da... CHARGE!' song that you hear at far too many sporting events....

Sterger Tears Her Way Through Second Part Of <em>GMA</em> Interview
Jenn Sterger's Good Morning America two-day extravaganza has come to a close, with this abbreviated three-minute clip from today's show. There are tears here, at the memory of her mother's coworker asking "what it was like to have Brett Favre's grandbabies," and there's some strained commentary ab...

ESPN's Joe Morgan Replacement Bobby Valentine Is Not Making A Whole Lot Of Sense
Bobby Valentine, who once proved that it takes no more than a fake mustache and a novelty t-shirt to manage a MLB team (provided, of course, that you already manage said team), is in his second year of his second stint at ESPN. This year, the spotlight's shining extra bright on Valentine, who has ...

Washed-Up Larry Johnson Has Settled His 2008 Drink-Spitting Lawsuit For $100k
Larry Johnson, most recently of the Washington Redskins and this misspelled jersey, has seen his once blossoming NFL career disappear. Now, a lawsuit regarding an inflection point along Johnson's precipitous fall from grace has disappeared too. Perhaps Johnson wants to know if his career can come ba...

Comatose Giants Fan Shouldn't Have Been Wearing A Giants Jersey, Writes Dumbass
Bryan Stow is the 42-year-old Giants fan who was beaten outside Dodger Stadium and who now lies in a medically induced coma. Stow was wearing a Giants jersey at the time of the attack. I'll let John Steigerwald, a columnist for the Observer-Reporter in Washington, Pa., and a former television anch...

Ex-49ers Color Analyst Possibly Fired For Raunchy Labia-Lovin' Talk (With NSFW Audio)
Gary Plummer was the 49ers color analyst on KNBR for the past 13 seasons until it was recently announced that he would be replaced by another ex-Niner, Eric Davis. The reasons for his departure were vague. The director of broadcasting for the Niners, Bob Sargent, insists that Plummer wasn't fired ...

Charlie Villanueva And Ryan Hollins Celebrate End Of Miserable Seasons With An Eye-Gouging Affair
The Cleveland Cavaliers, at 18-63, boast the second-worst record in the NBA. The Pistons don't have much more to brag about (although they do have Rodney Stuckey) at 29-52. Neither will have a place in the playoffs following their final regular-season games tomorrow night. So perhaps Detroit's Cha...

Sterger On <em>GMA</em>: Never Met Brett Favre, Never Got Paid, Betrayed By Blogger
Your morning roundup for April 12, the day we remembered how Jeff Buckley's death was a more significant event than that guy from Nirvana's to some folks but this won't help that argument....

Jenn Sterger Talks Life After Brett Favre's Penis With <em>Good Morning America</em> Tomorrow
In case you missed the massive plugs the GMA interview with the Sterg is getting, I'm here to remind you that you may want to set your DVRs tonight or postpone that P90X workout if you'd like to see it....

We Are All Dave McKenna LXVII
Here's your daily link to Dave McKenna's brilliant "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," which we'll be posting until Daniel Snyder's dumbass libel suit is decomposing in the bog....

This Is The Saddest Image To Come Out Of The Sad WNBA Draft
The 2011 WNBA draft, held at 3 p.m. on a Monday, is now wrapping up. No shockers here: the Minnesota Lynx selected UConn's Maya Moore (projected during the draft to be the league MVP) with the first pick, 6'8" Australian Elizabeth Cambage was second overall and will play for Tulsa, and Courtney Vand...

Former USD Assistant Basketball Coach And Players Charged In Game-Fixing-Marijuana-Bribery Mess
In San Diego today, federal prosecutors released the details of an indictment that named 10 people — three of whom formerly coached or played for the University of San Diego men's basketball program — with connection to a college basketball bribery ring. Thaddeus Brown, an assistant coach for the To...

Craigslist's Going Rate For A Misspelled Larry Johnson Chiefs Jersey Is $30
"Offered is the pictured Larry Johnson Kansas City Chiefs jersey by Reebok NFL Equipment." I hpoe he tkaes PyaPla. [Craigslist Raleigh, h/t Brant]...